


I Don't Know What's Going On: A Memoir by Kim Mingyu

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Internalised Homophobia, M/M, Slow Build, Swearing, idek what to tag this as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-05-10 15:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 45,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5592340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mingyu wakes up and no one can see, hear or touch him. Except Jeon Wonwoo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_ Mingyu _

"Where are you going?"

Shit. I slowly turned around - no one was there.

Oh, right.

I looked down and Seungcheol was standing in the doorway, his arms folded over his broad chest. He gave me the look, that look that tells you that you're in trouble, he doesn't know what you've done just  _yet,_ but you're in trouble. 

"Out,” I answered, hoping he wouldn't notice the shake in my voice. “Me and Soonyoung Hyung are going to go do something.” I stuffed my wallet in the back pocket of my jeans. “We’ll probably be back late.”

"What do you mean 'out' you're not going 'out' we have a busy day tomorrow!" My eyes followed Seungcheol's vague hand gestures that I'm sure were meant to make the point of what he was saying clearer to me, but did not. He just stood there, eyes wide searching my face for some sort of understanding.

"Oh yeah! We have that... thing! Right! Are you sure we can't go out for just an hour or so? Honestly Hyung, it won't take long I promise." Seungcheol rubbed his temples with two fingers and breathed a sigh. Without his make up on the deep purple bags under his eyes stood out clearly against his tanned skin, the veins just visible. He looked tired. Being the leader seemed like a hard job, I know I couldn't do it for the life of me. We didn't really make it very easy for him either, all 10 of us. A twang of guilt rippled through my body, although it left without a trace when I remembered that I would be leaving the dorms and getting some fresh air, the thought made my heart skip a beat with excitement. 

Seungcheol looked up at me, a scowl on his face, "Where are you going?" 

I forgot how intimidating he could be. “Rock-climbing… at New Heights. Soonyoung Hyung claims it’s fun, although I’m not sure I’m going to agree…” I sighed. Strapping myself to a wall and hefting my way to the top sounded like too much work for a Saturday night. Weren’t weekends supposed to be about relaxation and laziness?

Seungcheol's was blank for a moment, but it slowly twisted into a smirk. “Take me with you!”

“What?”

“Come on. I don’t have anything to do tonight, and I have to get out of the dorms I can't take it anymore.” His eyebrows were raised, daring me to refuse him.

“Hyung…” I groaned. He didn't want to come, not really. He just wanted to keep an eye on us to make sure we weren't getting up to anything he would have to deal with later. When he was keeping an eye on us, nothing fun happens. Ever.

“What? This will make up for your shortcomings as of late,” he said cheerfully. "Do I need to remind you about the shirt of mine that you wore to that party last week and somehow  _lost_?"

"No," I grumbled, suddenly the carpet was very interesting to look at. “Fine. You can come with us.” I would probably regret that later, but at least he wouldn’t be mad at me. Besides, I did feel bad for losing his shirt. “Are you ready?”

He grinned. “Let me change clothes real quick.” He dashed out of the doorway.

“I’ll be by the door,” I called after him. I tromped into the kitchen, where Jeonghan and Joshua were chatting. “Hey. I’m going out. Soonyoung Hyung and Seungcheol Hyung are going with me. We’ll be back later.”

Joshua looked up, frowning. “Out? Where are you going? What time will you be back?”

I swear, Joshua is worse than Seungcheol sometimes. He’s got the whole third-degree questioning down pat. “We’re going rock climbing. I don’t know what time we’ll be back. Chill, Hyung. Give us a little credit,” I said, laughing. "Seungcheol Hyung is coming with us anyway, like anything bad will happen with him there."

Jeonghan cut in. “Joshua’s right, you shouldn’t stay out too late.”

Of course he’s right _. He’s Joshua._  When did Jeonghan ever disagree with Joshua? “Okay,” I sighed. “We won’t.”

“And be careful! It’s Saturday night, there’ll be a lot of not-entirely-sober people on the road… In fact, why don’t you call us before you come home?”

What was I, fifteen? Jeez. “Hyuunngggg…” I groaned. “You worry too much.”

"I worry just the right amount thank you very much. Remember what happened last time you went out? The time you came home with no shirt on and no recollection of where it went?" I grumbled in acknowledgement that yes, I did remember. I wished that they didn't remember.  

There was a loud, thunderous noise coming from the hallway, and a moment later, Seungcheol and Soonyoung appeared in the kitchen. “You ready?” Soonyoung asked.

"Yep. see you later,” I called to Jeonghan and Joshua as we walked out the front door.  

*******

“I’m having second thoughts about this.” I stared down at the instructor, who was strapping me into a kinky-looking wide-roped harness. “This doesn’t look very comfortable…”

“Stop whining,” Seungcheol said. He stood off to the side, waiting for me to be done so he could put his on. Soonyoung was already at the wall, ready to climb.

“Whining? Wait ‘til you get yours on. Then we’ll see who’s whining.”

“Sir? Can you lift your leg for me?” The instructor guy looked up at me. I obeyed, raising my foot off the ground as he looped the harness over my leg. “Thanks.” I stood perfectly still while he lifted the straps and tightened them around my pelvis.

“It doesn’t feel very tight,” I said nervously after he stood up and inspected me.

“Nah, it’s not, yet. I’m going to have to tighten it some more,” he said. “I just want to make sure it’s on correctly first.”

Seungcheol laughed. “Not tight enough? Gain a few pounds, Mingyu.” He smirked. “Maybe if you worked out a little more it would fit.” Seungcheol lazily flexed his arms.

“Shut up.” I grunted slightly as the instructor went back to work and yanked on the ropes. “Okay,” I said. “I think that’s good.”

“Alright. Just go over there where Namil-sshi is--” he indicated where Soonyoung was standing, talking to another instructor who worked there. “And he’ll get you hooked on.”

“Okay.” I lurched towards them – it’s really hard to walk when you’ve got ropes and whatnot tied between your legs. Especially when said ropes are sort of smashing your manliness. I resisted the urge to readjust the harness, figuring that I’d probably get kicked out for lewd behaviour. After all, there were kids around.  
  
“You ready, Mingyu-ah?” Soonyoung asked, grinning. “We thought we’d start you out on the bunny wall…” he beckoned to the small ten-foot wall in front of us. I rolled my eyes as he laughed – a five-year-old could have climbed it.  
  
“Bunny wall?” I asked dryly. “Sort of like a bunny slope?”  
  
“Exactly.”  
  
I stared up at the wall, noting all the handholds and small ledges haphazardly affixed to it. “I think I could just  _jump_  and reach the top…” 

 

Soonyoung laughed. “Probably.” He peered around me. “Alright, and there’s Seungcheol Hyung. You ready?”  
  
“Of course,” Seungcheol said. He squirmed slightly. “This thing is mashing my junk…”  
  
“See?” I said triumphantly. “I  _told_  you you’d be whining…” He scowled at me.  
  
“Alright guys, let’s get you hooked up,” Samil said. We lined up and watched as he tied us all to top ropes with an impressive-looking knot. His hands flew through the motions. “Hold this,” he said, handing me the knotted rope. He pulled a large metal ring out of his pocket. I was startled when he suddenly hooked it to the front of my harness.  _Watch the hands, buddy!_  “Okay.” He took the rope from my hand and hooked it into the metal ring, too. “Alright, now just tighten the gate on that carabiner,” he said. “Make sure it’s good and tight.”  
  
I hesitated. “On the what?”  
  
“The carabiner… the metal ring.”

“Oooh…” I studied the carabiner, finally figuring out that the ‘gate’ was the piece that folded back when pushed… and it had a little ring that screwed to lock it in place when the ring was closed. I fixed it and waited patiently for him to tell us to get started. When he’d hooked up all three of us, he went over the rules of climbing – no swinging, no jumping, no pushing, etc. He also explained that each of us would have a ‘belayer’ who would assist us in climbing – I looked behind me to see another guy holding one end of a rope. Looking up, I realised that the rope I was attached to was strung through a pulley, and that this guy would essentially be helping to haul me to the top. Which was sort of embarrassing, really, but then again, we  _were_  beginners.   
  
Once Samil was done with his speech, he clapped his hands sharply.  
  
“Alright, let’s get started. Since you guys have never been climbing before--” He beckoned to me and Seungcheol. “Take your time, and don’t stress. It’s rough the first time. You have to get used to it.”  
  
Seuncheol snorted, looking at the puny wall we were about to ascend. “I’ll keep that in mind.”  
  
I tentatively reached out and grasped onto one of the handholds. “Well,” I said. “Here goes nothing.”

*******

“Fuck,” Seungcheol gasped. “My arms are burning…”   
  
Rock-climbing, I have discovered, is actually pretty fun. And exhausting. After an hour of climbing on several different walls, we were beginning to get a little tired. Not that I would admit that to Seungcheol, though. It was too much fun taunting him.  
  
I smirked at his sweaty, flushed face. “You wimp. I don’t know what your problem is. I feel great.” I readjusted my grip on the handholds, fervently hoping he didn’t notice my trembling arms.  
  
He eyeballed me, his knuckles white from the strain of holding on. We were about fifteen feet in the air, clinging to the side of the wall like insects. I could only imagine how stupid we probably looked. “Well, you have about 50% less weight to lift,” he said pointedly. 

I scowled. “Shut up.” I slowly began to descend, carefully watching where my feet were stepping. I wasn’t worried about falling; so far, the belayers had proved to be more than strong enough to keep us from plummeting to the ground. Plus, I was pretty sure my guy could get me to the top with absolutely no effort on my part. Seriously, the guy was an ox… he looked like a bouncer from a nightclub, or something. “I’m getting down for awhile. Rest my arms,” I called up to Seungcheol. He nodded and followed me.  
  
When we’d reached the ground, we unhooked ourselves and walked over to sit on some soft, cushy benches next to far wall. I leaned forward, sitting with my elbows on my knees. As we rested, I noticed, from the corner of my eye, two girls whispering and staring at us. They looked to be about 13, maybe 14. I nudged Seungcheol.  
  
“Don’t look now, but I think those girls are checking you out,” I murmured, stifling back laughter when he made a face.  
  
“Shut up, Mingyu.”  
  
“Why don’t you ask one of them out? I’m sure her mum would drive you all to the movies or something…” I snickered, watching Seungcheol's face twist into a worrying smirk.

“Nah, I think they're more your type Mingyu, don't realise that they're too good for you...”

I sighed, not having a witty comeback for that comment. “Hyunggg why are you so mean to me?” I whined, resting my arm on his shoulder. Seungcheol didn’t reply. He was staring at Soonyoung with something like awe. I couldn’t blame him – Soonyoung climbed as if he had arachnid blood in his veins. It looked effortless. He must have felt our stares, because he turned his head and noticed Seungcheol and I were taking a break. He skittered down the wall and came over to sit with us.  
  
“So, what do you think?” he asked when he came within earshot. “Fun, huh?”  
  
“Yeah,” I said. “But hard.”  
  
“I guess it’s a way to spend a Saturday night,” Seungcheol said. “Considering what the alternative was going to be.” I thought back to the dorm, imagining the vein on Jihoon's neck pulsating at the utter chaos that must be ensuing due to our leader not being present. I chuckled quietly.

“You’re not done, are you?” Soonyoung asked. “We haven’t done the big one, yet.” He beckoned to a huge, looming wall in the back of the building. It looked to be nearly three stories high.   
  
“You expect us to get on  _that_?” I asked, incredulous. “Damn…”  
  
“Come on! It’s the best one! We can’t leave without at least trying…”  
  
“Really? Watch me…”  
  
Seungcheol stood up boldly. “I’m in,” he said. “What about you, Mingyu-ah? Unless, of course, you’re too chicken…”  
  
“I’m not chicken.”   
  
“I think you are…”  
  
“I am not!” I joined them, rising to my feet. “Fine. Let’s do it.” Hell, you have to try everything once, right?  
  
The three of us strolled over and waited for the climbers who were currently on it to come back down. As we waited, I eyed the wall a bit nervously. The way my arms felt, I doubted I could get much further than about ten feet up… I hoped those girls that noticed us earlier didn’t have a camera. I could just imagine finding pictures of my ass, crammed into this harness, all over the internet… with snide posts about my scrawny arms or my maladroit climbing abilities... Our fans would have a field day with that…  
  
“Come on,” Seungcheol said, poking me when I failed to notice that the wall was now ours. I walked up and waited on the instructor to fix the knot for me. When he had done so, I started to hook it into the carabiner like I’d done before. I was startled when I heard a shrill ringing. My mobile phone. I fished around in my pocket and pulled it out, checking the caller ID. JIHOON MOBILE.  
  
“Shit,” I grumbled. I debated on what to do. I was about 110% sure he was calling because he was angry, maybe something happened. Wouldn't he have called Seungchol if something was wrong though? Talking to Jihoon when he was angry was like rubbing sandpaper over a wound – painful and unnecessary. But I was sure he would be even more pissed if I didn't answer… And, if I didn’t answer, he would keep calling back repeatedly…  
  
“Who is it?” Seungcheol asked.  
  
“Jihoon Hyung,” I muttered. Ah, hell. I pushed ‘Ignore’ and quickly put my phone on silent. I slid it back in my pocket and looked up. “I’ll call him back later.”  
  
“Personally, I wouldn't call him back at all.” Soonyoung grinned and hooked himself onto the rope, quickly twisting the lock into place. “Race you to the top,” he quipped as we readied ourselves to climb.  
  
Seungcheol and I snorted at the same time. “Knock yourself out, Hyung” I said. “We’ll be right behind…”  
  
He laughed and started climbing. I grabbed onto a handhold and stared straight up for what felt like miles. Just  _looking_  at it made me tired… sheesh. Taking a deep breath, I lifted myself off the ground and began to follow Soonyoung.  


*******

About twenty minutes later, I was outdoing my expectations.   
  
Spurred on by a sudden energy rush, a second wind, I was high up off the ground. I couldn’t tell how much – 20 feet, 25 feet, 30 feet… it was all blurred together at this point. Seungcheol was just below me, trying valiantly to match my pace. He didn’t like being outdone by someone younger than him.  
  
“Slow down, Mingyu! I can’t keep up!”  
  
“It’s not a race,” I said. “If it was we’d have both lost to Soonyoung Hyung a long time ago.” I stopped and let him catch up to me. When we were side-by-side, he stopped.  
  
“My arms are tired,” he whined. “Are you ready to quit yet?”  
  
“Yeah, I guess.” I leaned back a little, letting the rope and my belayer below take some of the weight from my arms. Seungcheol immediately began scampering back down. “You’re not in a hurry, are you?” I called after him wryly. Grinning, I reached down with one foot, feeling for the next little ledge. My toe touched something hard, and I put all my weight on it.  _Mistake_. My shoe slipped off and I sort of half-fell, slamming against the wall. I grabbed onto a ledge, my arms straining to hold my weight. I struggled to find a foothold, my feet kicking out, reaching for  _anything_  – the rope was pressed against my face, rubbing against it as I struggled. It jerked slightly, startling me.  
  
“Shit!” I shouted when I couldn’t catch my balance. I knew I must have looked incredibly stupid – sort of half-hanging on, my legs dangling, the belayer essentially lifting me with the rope. Flopping around like a trout pulled out of water, hanging from a fishing line.  
  
“Mingyu, what are you doing?” Seungcheol yelled up at me. I didn’t answer, still kicking to find somewhere to rest my foot. Finally, my toe struck another hold, and I rested my foot on it, relieved. Jesus. My biceps were practically quivering from the exertion. Wiping my brow, I glanced down at my harness.  
  
Oh shit. _Shit..._  
  
My carabiner was unlocked. It was  _unlocked_ , the gate was partially open, and slowly the top rope was wedging itself through. I swallowed. So that’s what that sudden jerk was… I suddenly realised that had I struggled much longer for a foothold, it would have completely come undone… shit! Had I forgotten to screw the lock down? How had that happened?   
  
Jihoon _called…_  of course. I’d been distracted. Fuck. What was I supposed to do? There was no way I was risking climbing down now, not with a half-unhooked harness on my body…  
  
“Hey,” I yelled down to the people below. “I’m coming undone!”  
  
“What?” Seungcheol shouted back.   
  
“My harness! It’s coming unhooked!”  
  
They still couldn’t hear. What the hell was wrong with these people? Scowling, I turned my head and prepared to scream at the top of my lungs. Unfortunately, they say wherever your head goes, your body follows – and I can attest to that, it’s very true. My shoulders shifted as I tried to turn around, bumping against the wall. It was enough to knock me off balance, and my foot slipped yet again. I found myself flailing against the wall once more, struggling to grab onto anything. And then I heard, rather than felt, a loud clicking as the rope came off the carabiner and the gate slipped closed again.  
  
Everyone’s had the dreams about falling – I know I’ve had plenty. It’s terrifying. I remember once, I dreamed I was in a glass tower, looking out over the city… it was storming, and a flying piece of debris broke out one of the windows. I was sucked outside – I don’t even know if that would  _happen_ , I mean, you see in movies how people get sucked out of aeroplanes, but that’s considerably higher in the air and the plane is actually moving… but regardless, the had wind sucked me out, and I fell towards the darkness, unable to see where I was going to land, with rain and lightning all around me. I remember waking up in a cold sweat, close to tears, relief coursing through me.  
  
However, this time I knew the end result would be substantially different. There would be no relief this time. My senses were strangely heightened; the world was moving in slow motion. But it wasn’t a dream.  
  
I saw the ceiling getting further away, the rope I’d just detached from dangling uselessly in the air. I could feel the rushing air whip through my hair, the tight ropes of the harness cutting into my legs and back. I heard the startled cries below, Seungcheol’s terrified voice screaming my name. I was falling, with nothing to stop me…  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo tries to be smooth with a girl but fucks shit up. Emotions ensue.

_ Wonwoo _

There are few things I hate more in this world than cleaning. Which would explain why I only do it approximately once a year.   
  
_“_ _Love me two times, baby… love me twice today… love me two times, girl… ‘cause I’m going away…”_  I sang along loudly with my stereo. I had the bass turned all the way up, and the walls fairly shook with the vibrations. Standing with my hands on my hips, I surveyed the wreckage that was my room. I’d managed to clean off my desk and drawers, but that still left the closet, the bed, my bedside table, and all the junk strewn intermittently all over the floor.   
  
“I need to hire a maid,” I muttered. “A maid with a  _lot_  of patience.” Sighing, I threw myself down on the floor, preparing to organise the CDs that were scattered on the carpet in front of the stereo.   
  
A voice, shouting to be heard over the music, startled me. “Oh my God! Are you actually cleaning up this dump?” I looked up from the floor. My roommate, Junhui, was standing in the doorway, staring at me with a faux-shocked expression. “You might want to turn that down,” he said, beckoning to the stereo. “The neighbours will probably start calling any minute.”  
  
I sighed, leaning up and turning the music down to the lowest volume setting. He was right about the neighbours. On one side of us was a crotchety old couple who thought that rock and roll brought on the demise of humanity. In the house on the other side was a giggly group of sorority sisters who worshipped boy bands and thought that by drinking more, they wouldn't feel as drunk. Needless to say, they were a fun bunch.

  
Once the room was quiet, he grinned and spoke again. “I better stay around and watch! This is an  _event_. Haley’s Comet comes around more often than this…”  
  
I slowly stacked several CD cases and smiled. “Hilarious.” I groaned, standing up. “I’m sick of this. I need a break.”  
  
“How long have you been cleaning?”  
  
“Uh… twenty minutes?”  
  
Junhui rolled his eyes. “Figures.” He shoved a large stack of books out of his way and sat down on my bed. “So what brought on this sudden bout of cleanliness?”  
  
I shrugged. “Boredom, and the fact that I can’t find my headphones, and I  _know_  the damn things are in here somewhere…”  
  
He laughed. “Of course… I should’ve known.” He stood back up, stretching. “Listen, I’m going to the store. Do you, uh, need anything?”  
  
I looked up sharply, a grin on my face. “Store? Which store?”  
  
“Ah, I was thinking…. E-Mart…”  
  
E-Mart? As in, E-Mart where Eunsuh, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, was employed? As in, the girl who I had been crushing on for months now, in hopes that she might one day actually  _notice_  my existence? I leaped to my feet. “Do I  _need_ anything? I think I need to go with you!”  
“I haven't seen you move that fast in years. Come on, let’s go.”   
  
“Just let me get freshened up a bit…”  
  
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, Wonwoo. You look fine! You look… handsome!”  
  
Ah, Junhui. Always trying, with limited success, to boost my self-esteem. He would make a wonderful father one day – and Lord knows I’d been perfect practice for him the past five years. I looked down at my plain black shirt and ratty blue jeans. “I look gross. Like a homeless bum.”  
  
“Wonwoo-ah! I swear. Why would you get dressed up to go _grocery_   _shopping_.” He grabbed my arm, dragging me out the door. “Besides, looks aren’t everything. If she can’t see past that, then she’s not worth it.”  
  
“If she can’t see past this? Jun, very few women  _have_  seen past this, if I must remind you.” I detached myself from him and ran into the bathroom. “At least let me put some jeans on,” I called to him. “Better jeans.”

“All your jeans look the same though.”

“Shut up.”  
  
He responded with some mild cursing, which I ignored. I switched into my better jeans, dragging a pick through my thick, unruly hair in an attempt to control it. God, why couldn’t I have been born with nice, tame hair, like Junhui? His was gorgeous – shiny, thick, and black, always styled perfectly despite just waking up… Or showering.. Or even working out. Sighing, I left the bathroom and joined him in the hall.   
  
“Are you ready now?” he asked.  
  
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

*******

I am really pathetic. Really. I’ve always known it, but it’s moments like these where it just becomes screamingly obvious.  
  
“What am I supposed to say to her?” I asked nervously. Junhui, obviously 100% in charge of the situation, had just informed me that I would be making conversation with this girl, come hell or high water. The thought of talking to her made my head feel light. I was, quite simply, no good with girls. I had an annoying tendency to clam up whenever they entered the room. Who ever thought it would be so hard to just find the courage to  _speak_  to females?  
  
“Anything! Talk about the weather, or sports, or music… yeah! You love music… you ought to be able to talk her ear off about that,” he said, leaning over to turn down the radio.  
  
“Well,” I hedged. That was true… maybe I could manage that. But still – Eunsuh was a great-looking girl. She could just look at someone and they would fall over at her feet… and with so many options for her to choose from, why would he waste his breath on someone like me? A skinny, clumsy geek with wild hair. Not exactly a thrilling combination. “Maybe,” I finally answered.

 

I leaned down and turned the radio back up, and annoyed expression rested itself on Junhui's face.

 

”I think I’m doing deaf,” he said dryly.  
  
“What?” I asked loudly over a loud, shrieking voice.  
  
“My point exactly.”  
  
I laughed, finally agreeing to turn it down, and we continued cruising down the street. Finally the enormous yelloe E-Mart sign appeared within our view. I tapped my fingers nervously on the steering wheel as we pulled into the parking lot and looked for a space.  
  
“You should park pretty far away,” Junhui suggested. “That way, she'll have to walk with us even longer.”  
  
“You are an absolute genius,” I drawled as I reversed my Jetta and backed up about 30 feet. I pulled into an isolated space close to the road. As we got out of the car I had to laugh at how ridiculous we looked. There wasn’t another car within at least 20 spaces or so.  
  
“Well, I admit, this is a little excessive, but it’ll do,” Junhui said. He grinned wolfishly at me. “Shall we?”  
  
We quickly walked towards the front door. The warm summer wind whipped around us, much to my chagrin.  _Well, shit, there goes my hair_. I vainly attempted to keep it intact until we reached the building, cowering with my arms folded over my head. I scuttled towards the entrance and ran inside. Once Junhui caught up with me, he gave me a once-over and chuckled.

“Shut the hell up,” I mumbled, trying vainly to flatten my hair, “and help me with this, will you?”

Junhui licked his fingers and began to attack my hair “Ew gross, not like that! Don't you have a comb or something?” Jun looked at me blankly.

“Where would I even keep a comb? Just don't worry about it you look fine.” I didn't believe him.

We grabbed a trolly and started pushing. I glanced to the right, and my heart leaped up and thumped hard against the inside of my chest. Eunsuh stood over by the checkout counters, leaning lazily against the end of one with a relaxed smile on her face.  
  
“Damn, she looks good,” I murmured to myself. Dark hair, dark skin… a cute button nose...  
  
“Come on,” Jun whispered. “Let’s hurry before she goes on break, or something.” I agreed, and we took off down the aisle. I watched as he filled our cart with raw ingredients for his dinners – fresh fruits and vegetables, spices, whole milk, butter… I looked down at the stack of frozen pizzas in my hand. Well, maybe not exactly fine cuisine, but it was about all I was capable of handling.  
  
Finally, we finished up the last aisle and made our way to the checkout. There was one person in line at Eunsuh's counter; the rest of the checkouts were empty. So, of course we filed in Eunsuh’s line.  
  
“Excuse me! Sir? I can get you all over here,” a woman’s voice called out. I turned around to face the cashier. She gave me a strange look when I shook my head.  
  
“Uh, no, uh… we’ll just stay here. It’s fine, we’re not in any hurry, really… y’know… ” God, I sounded like an idiot. Quickly turning away, I hoped that my grammar would improve when it came to talking to Eunsuh. I fidgeted in place as our line slowly moved ahead.  
  
Finally, the person ahead of us emptied out all his groceries, leaving room on the conveyor belt to put ours up. As I emptied our cart, I kept sneaking glances over at Eunsuh. The way she lifted each item and carefully placed it in the bag... how delicate her hands looked as they tied the handles of the bag together so that the groceries wouldn’t spill out... I exhaled deeply.  
  
Pathetic? Yeah. Definitely.

“Wonwoo! Turn back around!” Junhui suddenly hissed at me. I looked up from our trolly to see Eunsuh bending over to pick up a bag of chips she’d dropped. My eyes widened and heat rushed to my cheeks, I quickly averted my gaze to my feet.

“Wen Junhui you're a fucking pervert, you know that right?” I pushed him slightly so he would stop starring. The can of spaghetti sauce in my hand suddenly leaped from my  onto the floor into a watery, red, smelly mess. Okay, well maybe it didn’t really  _leap,_ but that’s what I like to think, anyway.

“Oh,  _shit_!” I yelped as I hurdled backward away from the mess, running straight into the trolly, which rolled and smashed Junhui in the stomach, who in turn reeled backward and knocked over a display of M &M’s. The brightly coloured packets spilled out all over the floor in a crazy kaleidoscope of colours. Junhui sat on his butt in the middle of them, looking slightly dazed. I hiccupped with laughter, trying unsuccessfully to keep it in. Finally, I started to walk back to him, chuckling. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry!”  
  
“I’m fine,” he said dryly. “I’m used to this sort of thing.”

“Hey, are you alright? You took quite a spill there.” I turned to see Eunsuh standing behind us, with a worried smile on her face. I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing there for a second.  _Oh, God,_ _s_ _he saw all that…_ _s_ _he thinks I’m a moron…_  She walked over to Junhui, holding out a hand, which hhe hesitantly accepted. Her eyes never left him as she took his hand and lifted him to his feet. I felt a small pang of jealousy. Junhui looked worriedly at her and then at me.  
  
“Oh, yeah, I’m fine! Um…Wonwoo, are  _you_ alright?” he asked me pointedly, sneaking a glance at her from the corner of his eye. “You didn’t get a scratch or anything, did you?”  _Yeah, way to go,_ _Jun_ _, turn the attention on me, when my face is red as a beet and I have spaghetti sauce on my shoes...._  Eunsuh switched her gaze from his and looked me up and down.  
  
“He looks alright to me,” she commented.  


I overanalyze  _everything_. I can’t help it – it’s programmed into my DNA. My mind reeled, churning out possible interpretations of that phrase. Was she being sarcastic, and saying that I was obviously unhurt and unfazed because I was standing there staring at the two of them like a fool? Was she saying that I looked “alright” as in hey, maybe I wasn’t such a bad-looking guy after all, and maybe,  _just maybe_ , she’d like to go out with me sometime? Was she even  _aware_  of what she’d just said? Was I losing my mind? Was I just desperately in need of therapy?  
  
“But what about you? Are you sure you’re okay?” she immediately switched her focus back to him. I quickly realised that her definition of “alright” fell into the first category. I lowered my head in embarrassment, and was greeted by the bright red monstrosity that covered the floor around me. Bright red, but surely not as bright as my face right then.

A middle-aged man, who I assumed to be the manager, scooted towards us. He was wearing an obnoxiously yellow vest. Pinned on it was a ridiculous-looking button that had a picture of a chicken with a caption that screamed “ _Ask about our Eggs-traordinary Poultry Deals_!” I would have cracked up had I not been so mortified by the situation.  
  
“Oh, we’ve made quite a mess here, haven’t we?” he remarked cheerfully. I groaned inwardly at his merry tone. “Well, dear, don’t fret. We’ll just get some towels and a mop and we’ll be right as rain!”  
  
I briefly wondered what his obsession with the word ‘we’ was. After all,  _I_  was the one who created this entire predicament. I was the idiot around here… I kept my mouth shut however, instead opting to give him a pitiful smile.  
  
A few minutes later, one of the resident cleaner arrived with a mop bucket and some towels. He scowled as he bent down to clean up the mess and I caught snatches of his mutterings, including but not limited to, “damn work hell-hole”, “damn nasty spaghetti shit”, and of course, “damn stupid boy.” The latter, naturally, pertaining to me. I narrowed my eyes at his tone but said nothing. Once he’d scrubbed the floor spotless, he stood up, facing me with a hideously fake smile. “There you go Sir, all cleaned up,” he chirped sarcastically… and then his expression changed to one of supreme irritation. “Hey, aren’t you the guy who broke the shelf in the bread aisle last week?” he asked suspiciously.  
  
Damn it. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I mumbled. He scowled, but said nothing else. I watched as he trudged towards the back of the store.  
  
Finally, back to the matter at hand. Eunsuh was still gazing at Junhui, who looked increasingly uncomfortable about the whole situation. He stepped back up to our trolly and began placing more items on the conveyor belt. Suddenly he looked up.  
  
“Hey, I’ll go get us some more spaghetti sauce,” he said quickly. He turned to Eunsuh. “Why don’t you help Wonwoo here unload our trolly?” It wasn’t so much a question as a thinly veiled demand, but then again, Junhui was a pretty demanding person.  
  
“Yeah, sure, I guess,” she replied. He flitted off, leaving us alone. I nervously fidgeted with the hem of my shirt as she finished unloading and walked back around to the end of the counter. Screw Jun’s ‘looks aren’t everything’ theory. Why didn’t I wear better clothes? Why didn’t I gel down my hair? And why couldn’t I just make normal conversation? I couldn’t think of a single intelligent thing to say to her. Hell, I couldn’t think of a single  _un_ -intelligent thing to say either. The guy behind the register scanned our items and Eunsuh began bagging them. I watched intently, waiting for her to look up so I could smile at her. The opportunity never came.  
  
Junhui returned a few minutes later. He handed the sauce to the guy, who scanned the jar and added it to our ticket. I paid him with a check, and Eunsuh held our loaded trolly out for us.  
  
“Do you two need some help out?” she asked.  
  
“Y-yeah,” I stuttered.  
  
“Sure!” Junhui blurted. And with that, we set out towards my car, with Eunsuh pushing the cart. She was just ahead of us, and I was slightly embarrassed that we said we needed help. Junhui grabbed my arm. “Talk to her!” he hissed. “Say  _something_!”  
  
“I can’t,” I said faintly. “We’ll have to wait until another time. I can’t do it today, not after  _that_.”  
  
“I am going to physically hurt you if you don’t speak to her  _right now_.” With that, he got behind me and gave me a gentle push. I found myself walking right next to Eunsuh. Taking a deep breath, I finally gathered the courage to speak.  
  
“Hi. I’m Wonwoo,” I said bluntly. “Jeon Wonwoo.”  
  
She looked at me from the corner of her eye and nodded. “Eunsuh.” She didn't offer a last name. Well, it wasn't like I didn't  _know_  it already, stalker that I was, but still...  
  
“Nice to meet you, Eunsuh. So… you go to CNU?” I asked nervously.  
  
“Yep.”  
  
“Me, too!" I exclaimed, as if that was the most exciting thing I'd heard all day. "Um… so what’s your major?”  
  
“Business finance.”  
  
“Oh, cool, cool. I’m doing a double major. Chemistry, and art studio… weird, I know. I’ll be in school forever. I really wanted to do art, but my advisors are convinced I’ll end up unemployed and homeless if I tried to make a living out of that, and they suggested pharmacy, which is  _huge_  in the job market right now, and I’m good at science, so finally I just agreed with them, and--” I stopped, realising that I was babbling. “Sorry. You don’t want to hear all that. So, do you like business finance?”  
  
“Yeah, it’s alright.”  
  
And so on, and so forth. I asked her a few more questions about school, work, pets, anything I could think of. She replied to each of them in bored, monosyllabic answers. Finally, I just gave up and remained silent until we reached the Jetta. Yet another failure in the potential-relationship department, great.  
  
“Well, here we are,” I mumbled feebly as we began unloading the groceries. Eunsuh grinned and nodded her head approvingly as she eyed the Jetta.  
  
“Nice car there,” she commented. “I love Volkswagens. Nothing like German engineering.” I felt my spirits lift slightly as I returned the grin and replied.  
  
“Yeah, sure is. She’s my baby,” I said proudly, patting the smooth silver exterior. Then I got brave, or stupid, depending on how you want to look at it. "We should go for a ride sometime." Junhui grinned happily at me, apparently pleased at my newfound boldness.  She nodded slowly, a thoughtful look on her face.  
  
“You say you’re good at science?” she said suddenly. I felt my eyes widen. Wow. So she  _had_  been listening…   
  
“Yeah!” I said excitedly, realising that my enthusiasm made me sound like the world’s biggest nerd. “I mean, yeah, I guess.”  
  
I waited for her to reply to that, but surprisingly, she said nothing, other than, “Cool.” Then, to my horror, she turned to Junhui.

  
“So, Junhui, right?” she asked. He nodded uneasily. “Yeah... I’ve seen you around. Hey listen, would you like to go out sometime? I have to work tomorrow but I was thinking maybe next Friday we could do something.. y’know... it’ll be fun.” Her tone was soft, quiet – she was probably hoping I couldn’t hear.   
  
I felt as if the breath had been sucked out of me. I was riveted to the scene in front of me – the horrible, unjust scene in front of me. I barely heard Jun gasp, “I’m sorry, I have a girlfriend,” because my whole world was now just a jumble of emotions. I watched in disbelief as she shrugged her shoulders casually and turned back towards the store.  
  
“Oh, and nice to meet you, Woni,” she said as an afterthought.  
  
“IT’S WONWOO!!!!!” I spat back at her venomously. I quickly whipped around and jumped in the car, slamming the doors as hard as I could. I stared straight ahead, my eyes unfocused and glazing over. What had I been thinking? That I  _actually_ had a chance? That someone as gorgeous as her would even give  _me_  the time of day? God, I was idiotic. Idiotic and naïve.  I hit my hand against the steering wheel, I sounded like some stupid fuck boy.  
  
Junhui had entered the car – I hadn’t even noticed. “Wonwoo-ah,” he said gently, sliding an arm around my shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t-”  
  
“I know,” I said quietly. “Just… don’t say anything. You don’t have to.” I sniffled loudly. Great, was I going to start crying now? Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic... “I don’t want to talk about it.”   
  
He smiled sympathetically and scooted back over as I turned the ignition. I’ll say this for Junhui – he knows when to speak his mind, but he also knows when to shut up. We headed for home, both of us silent and lost in our own thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm taking forever to get to the point... I'm so sorry!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why can't they see me?"

Mingyu

I awoke, confused and disoriented. Lying on top of the cover in my clothes and shoes.

“Fuck,” I muttered. What was wrong with me? Why did my limbs feel like they were filled with concrete? Why was my head throbbing? I struggled to roll over, groaning. My face mashed into my pillow, and I opened my eyes. And more importantly, why was I lying on top of my covers, still fully dressed, with my bed neatly made?

I managed to force myself into a sitting position. Dazed, I looked around. The room was absolutely spotless. Not just a normal clean, as I was never one to let it get into a complete mess, but a weird, pristine, unlived-in sort of clean. A Windex-and-Lysol clean. It was my room, but it wasn’t… What the hell? Did Soonyoung have a cleaning spree while I was asleep or something? Weird…

Speaking of which… Damn, how long had I been asleep? My mind was swimmy; I felt like I’d been unconscious for weeks. When had I gone to bed? I scrunched my face, trying to remember. Strange… I couldn’t. Everything was blurry; fuzzy… I closed my eyes. Incredibly, despite the mass amount of shut-eye I was sure I had gotten, I was still so tired… I just wanted to sleep some more, not even worry about it… 

After a moment’s thought, I decided that sounded like a fantastic idea, and fell back against the bed. Sighing, I pulled up the cover and slid in underneath it. It was unsuccessful, however, when I heard the sound of the shower starting up in the bathroom nextdoor. I grumbled aloud. There was no way I could sleep with that racket going on.

I stood up unsteadily. Stumbling over to the door, I reached for the knob. Huh. Odd. I didn’t usually sleep with the door closed. The dorm didn’t have the best heating system and the bedrooms tended to get way too cold in the winter and way too hot in the summer if the door wasn’t open. I turned the knob and walked out into the hall. Where was everyone? It was so quiet… and that was a true rarity in this household. I stood in the doorway, chewing on my lip thoughtfully. Suddenly the door to Joshua and Jeonghan's room, all the way down the hall, opened up and Jeonghan walked through, looking gaunt and tired.

“Hyung?” I said hesitantly. “Are you okay?” he looked up, his gaze going past me, and his eyes widened. He didn’t say anything. I stood still as he walked towards me. He peeked in my doorway, looking at my mussed bed. He made a small, confused noise and did an about-face. 

“Hyung?” I repeated. I watched as he marched into my the bedroom, looked confused, and then swiftly turned and left, opening the door to Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan's room. Bewildered, I followed him standing just outside their door so I could listen.

“Did you just go in Mingyu’s room?” I heard him ask the younger boys. They all replied that they hadn’t, and he swiftly left, going promptly into Jihoon's room. I crept down the hall, listening. My confusion mounted when he asked him the same question. He gave a negative answer, as well, and he came back into the hall.

“Hyung,” I said as he brushed past me. “What’s going on?” Why was he ignoring me? What was he so freaked out about? I watched as he went into my room. When I followed him in there, I saw that he was making the bed. 

“Hey, I can do that,” I said. “Don’t worry about it…” He didn’t so much as look up. “Hyung,” I repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time. He tugged on the corners to straighten the cover and quickly walked out of the room. Shocked, I watched as he firmly closed the door. 

“What the hell?” I said aloud. What was this, some sort of fucked-up joke? Surely not, whoever organised it would never get Jeonghan in on it… Irritated, I marched over, unlocking the door and flinging it open. “Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?” I shouted.

Nothing. The hall was empty, Jeonghan having gone back into his room, and apparently everyone else was just ignoring me. I scowled. Fine. Be that way... 

I was standing next to the bathroom door, I could hear the shower still running… I heard a familiar voice singing a familiar tune - Seungcheol. I pursed my lips for a moment before banging on the door. “Seungcheol Hyung!” I shouted. “I gotta go to the bathroom.”

“Who is it?” I heard him yell over the rush of water. “Can’t it wait?”

“It’s ME. Mingyu! Lemme in, it’ll just take a second.”

“Hello? Who is it?”

Frustrated, I pounded on the door again. “Quit fucking around and let me in!” I shouted, not caring who heard me.

“Jihoon? Is that you?” Seungcheol sounded confused. “Stop beating on the door! I’ll be out in a second!”

I swore loudly. What the hell was everyone’s problem? Grabbing the doorknob, I flung it open. Seungcheol’s head peeked out around the shower curtain, a look of bewilderment on his face. I closed the door behind me. “This will just take a second,” I said to him. However, he didn’t reply – instead, his eyes widened, colour draining out of his face.

“Jihoon?” he asked tentatively, studying the door as if it were a poisonous snake. I watched as he grabbed a towel and slowly stepped out of the shower, moving cautiously towards the entrance. I stared at him. When did he cut his hair? And dye it? What in the world is going on?

“Seungcheol, what happened to your hair?” I asked. “No one told me we were changing our look.”

No reply. I watched as he slowly opened the door, studying it for a minute. Finally, he closed it and slowly backed away, shaking his head. “Weird,” he muttered, stepping up to the mirror and wiping off the steam.

 I seethed. “Nevermind the hair… why the fuck are you all ignoring me?!? That’s what I really want to know!”

I watched as he cleaned off the last of the shower steam, smearing it across the mirror. I leaned back against the wall, glaring, my arms across my chest. As the mirror slowly dried, Seungcheol tied the towel around his waist and picked up a comb, running it through his short hair. Whilst glancing up, to see if I could meet his eyes in the mirror, I noticed something. 

Something very disturbing.

Because although there were two boys in the bathroom, the mirror only showed one. Seungcheol. Who was continuing about his business, seemingly unaware of my presence… I blinked hard, and uneasily fought against the light-headedness that threatened to overtake me.

I stayed in the bathroom even after Seungcheol left a little while later. I was shaking, leaning against the wall, uncertain and weak… what was going on? Was this some sort of elaborate hoax? How was that even possible? Some sort of weird, tricky, fun-house mirror? Surely not… the sheer logistics of pulling something like that off were just outrageous… and even Seungcheol would never approve of a prank that complicated…

I stared into the mirror. Nothing. Absolutely nothing… it was incredibly creepy. I slowly walked up to it, running my hands across the smooth surface. Taking a deep, tremulous breath, I eyed the hair products lining the counter. I picked up a bottle of gel, holding it in the air. 

“Holy shit,” I said faintly, watching the bottle mysteriously ‘float’ in the mirror. Impossible… 

“I’m dreaming,” I said aloud. “I’m still asleep, and just dreaming…” I set the bottle down, scooting it back in line with the others. “This is so fucked up…”

Yes, just a dream. Now just go back to bed and lay down… Nodding decisively, I left the bathroom and went back into my room.

******

“Dinner’s ready! Come and get it!”

I jerked awake. I’d just had a long, troubled nap... It was just a dream… just a dream… you’re really awake now… I sat up groggily, taking in my surroundings yet again. Yep, same pristine room. Same clothes. Sighing, I walked out of the room. The other members, having heard Joshua’s call for dinner, had apparently raced down the hall already. I slowly made my way to the kitchen, yawning and rubbing sleep from my eyes. 

The entire room was filled with the scent of spices and sauted vegetables. God, I was starving… I felt like I hadn’t eaten in weeks. My stomach rumbled as I entered the kitchen. Everyone was already seated, and Joshua was standing over Seungcheol's shoulder, dishing out vegetables on his plate.

I shuffled towards the table. “Hey,” I said through a yawn. No one looked up. I stopped abruptly when I was only a few feet away. What the… where was my seat? There were only ten place settings… and everyone was already seated. There wasn’t even room for me to scoot in – everyone was evenly spaced out.

“Am I not allowed to eat tonight?” I asked sarcastically. I was in no mood for these sorts of games. When Joshua finished serving everyone and sat down at his place, they all started grubbing. “What’s going on?” Still no answer. They sat and ate and talked, as if everything were perfectly normal… 

“Chan-ah, will you pass me the butter?” 

“Minghao, scoot over, your elbow is jamming into my arm…”

“So what time do we leave again tomorrow? My alarm has been off and...”

“Hello!” I barked. “Where am I supposed to sit?” My voice was shaky. As I stood and watched them, a tiny little nugget of fear formed deep in my chest… no, this wasn’t happening. It just didn’t make sense… I wasn’t still dreaming, was I? I pinched the top of my hand, hard. It stung, and I swallowed. The group had gone silent for a few rare moments, everyone stuffing their face full of food. 

“Okay. Joke’s over,” I said, my voice rising and cracking. “Not funny, guys. Seriously… stop. You’re scaring me.” I walked forward, intending to clap my hand down on Soonyoung’s shoulder. “I’m not exactly in a joking mood right now…” 

I lowered my hand… what the hell? Instead of landing firmly on Soonyoung’s strong shoulder, it… No. I didn’t just see that. I tried again. My breathing sped up as I watched my hand pass through Soonyoung’s skin. I couldn’t touch him. It was like trying to catch smoke, or something… just grasping at air. I stared down at my hand. It looked normal, same as always... I clamped down on my own wrist. I could feel my own skin… I sucked in a deep breath and darted around the table, reaching out to try and touch all of them… nothing. When all that failed, I stepped back, trembling. No… what’s wrong with me? It’s like something out of a movie… like in that one with Demi Moore, Ghost, or something… I jerked back to attention, that word searing into my conscious. Ghost? No… no way… It didn't make any sense...

“Wha--” I stuttered aloud. “Seungcheol? Seokmin?” I jumped from face to face, looking, hoping for any sort of recognition in their eyes…

Chan took a deep drink of his water and set it down, his face downcast. “I miss Mingyu,” he said suddenly. I froze as everyone swiveled their heads to look at him. Seungcheol pursed his lips together, looking like he was about to cry.

“I know,” he said softly. “We all do.”

What? Miss me? I was right here, right beside them! “Stop it! STOP IT!” I yelled. “I’m right here! I’M RIGHT HERE!”

“When are we gonna visit again?” Chan asked. He set his chopsticks down and looked at Seungcheol expectantly, sadness in his eyes. Visit? Visit what? Visit where?

“Not tonight, Chan-ie… maybe tomorrow.”

He looked down at his plate, nodding. They all remained silent after that, with apparently nothing else to say. The looks on their faces… Jeonghan, drawn and gaunt. Soonyoung, lost in thought and gazing off into space. Chan and Minghao, eyes downcast. Seungcheol, looking broody and grave, poking a piece of meat on his plate. Seungkwan and Hansol, looking appropriately somber, as if something was terribly, terribly wrong.

I suddenly whipped around and headed for the bathroom. A mirror, I needed another mirror… I ran inside, flipping on the light. As I studied my non-existent reflection in the bathroom, I felt something hot burning just behind my eyes. God, what was happening? What was going on? Could they not see me? Why were they talking about me in third person? Why couldn’t I even fucking touch them?

I slowly walked back into the kitchen, eyeing the table. I wonder… I’d picked up the bottle of hair gel earlier, hadn’t I? I’d opened doors… I’d lain under the covers… it just didn’t make sense, how I could feel those inanimate objects and but not touch people? 

Over by the stove, just a few yards away from the table, there were several dirty dishes scattered about, including a near-empty glass of water. I cautiously walked over to it, half-listening to Joshua tell Chan not to play with his food. I slowly reached my hand out, pressing my fingertip against the smooth edge of the glass, pushing it about six inches across the countertop. Yep, I could feel it, ice-cold and wet. It had responded to my touch – I had physically moved it. I stepped back, wrapping my arms tightly across me. I felt ill, almost nauseous… when I turned back around to look at everyone again, I immediately noticed Seungcheol’s expression – his sullen eyes had grown wide, and he was staring at the glass I’d just pushed. 

“Excuse me,” he said abruptly, and I watched as he leaped to his feet and promptly strolled out of the room, shaking his head as he left. Jihoon called after him, but he didn’t stop. He thundered up the hall, and moments later, I heard the door to his room slam. I glanced over at Jihoon – he was looking at Jeonghan worriedly as silence overtook the table yet again. 

I closed my eyes and took a heavy, ragged breath. I walked out of the kitchen like a zombie – I didn’t know what to do, where to go… in the end, I retreated back to my room to collect my turbulent thoughts. I sat on my bed, running my hands absent-mindedly over the soft top blanket and staring at an ancient stain on the carpet next to the bedside table. There was still a small, almost infinitesimal part of me that believed that I was still dreaming – that this was all just some huge, bizarre hallucination, and tomorrow I’d wake up normal again. As I gazed into the soiled fibres of the carpet, that tiny part of me chanted the same sentence over and over.

This isn’t real. This isn’t real… this isn’t real…

                                                                                                   ******

However, when my situation hadn’t changed the next morning… or the next… or the next… I knew it was real. I was lost; confused. I had no idea what had happened… some of my memories were still fuzzy; I was unable to grasp them. I kept waiting for the lightbulb to come on inside my head – an ‘A-ha!’ moment where I finally figured out what the fuck was going on… but it wouldn’t come. I was trapped; invisible and unable to declare myself, in a household that seemed to be mourning my presence. And no matter how hard I tried to figure out what had happened – why I was constantly being referred to in third person – I couldn’t. As soon as my name would be mentioned, everyone would immediately get quiet, as if speaking about whatever had happened was forbidden.

This is what purgatory is like… I thought, despaired, as I watched Hansol and Soonyoung lounging around on the couch in front of the TV. The seventh layer of hell. Dante had nothing on this…  I was standing in the far corner of the room, observing life going on without me, as it had been for the past few days… or was it weeks? I'd lost track of the calendar. Since realising that I was barely more than a spectator in this house, I’d spent copious amounts of time holed up in my room, asleep. It was the safest place for me to stay, since no one came in, even Soonyoung who I shared with didn't visit very often. I had no calendar; I couldn’t watch television or listen to the radio unless someone else was in the room, and very few of the members bothered to watch the news. Night and day were running together, and it was just easier to sleep the hours away. What was the point of staying awake, anyway? It’s not like I had anyone to talk to… the loneliness was nearly unbearable. I was going to go crazy without any sort of human contact. Hell, I’d even tried to call Seungcheol, if that tells you how completely desperate I was… but no such luck, he had hung up after repeating ‘Hello?’ several times.

“AAAAARGH!” I shouted, barely resisting the urge to pitch a big fit and start throwing things around. That wouldn’t do any good… I would just scare them all half to death. I dragged my feet, shuffling from one room to another. I’d been restless all evening – a result, no doubt, of the 18-hour sleepathon I’d just completed. It was late, and everyone except Jihoon were sleeping. It looked to be another long, lonesome night. I trudged down the hall, holding tightly onto the my jumpers sleeves. There was a long, tall bookshelf at the end of the hall, and I walked over to it, skimming over the titles. I’d never really been a fan of reading, but I’d discovered it was one way to pass the time, at least. Sighing, I grabbed a thick, worn paperback – The Firm, by John Grisham – and tugged it loose from the shelf. I turned to go back to my room, startled when I saw Seungcheol standing there, having just come out of the bathroom. He halted, and was staring at the book in my hand. Well, at the book that, to him, was merely levitating in mid-air. Unsure of what to do, I immediately dropped it. 

He took a step back, looking furtively around to see if anyone else had witnessed that. I watched, amazed, as he took off down the hall and went into Jeonghan’s room. I hastily picked up the book and dashed into my room, trying to open and close the door as quietly as I could. Once I was inside, I pressed my ear against the door, listening. I heard unintelligible conversation for a moment, and then he returned, Jeonghan in tow.

“It… it was right here. I swear…”

“Seungcheol… I am too tired for this shit. I’m going back to bed.”

“I’m not joking! It was right here! It was just… hovering, and then it dropped! Something's going on... I’ve seen other stuff, too – the glass on the counter I was telling you about… the doors…”

I wasn’t sure what to do… open the door, get their attention? Try to communicate with them in some way? Obviously Seungcheol already knew something was up… he was know for being imaginative… Jeonghan’s next words, however, stopped me.

“Seungcheol… listen. You didn’t see anything. Alright? Remember what the doctor said. It's not your fault.” Doctor? What doctor? What was wrong with Seungcheol? “You have an appointment with him tomorrow, right?”

“Jeonghan, why won’t you believe me? I’m not making this shit up!” Seungcheol sounded pissed. I couldn’t blame him… I would have been, too. But it didn’t surprise me that Jeonghan was playing the practical role, the disbeliever… well, I could fix that easily enough. I’d tried to keep from scaring them all as much as possible, and so far Seungcheol was the only one who had really noticed anything out of the ordinary. That was about to change. I gripped the doorknob, throwing it open. It’s true, Jeonghan… see for yourself… except when I stepped out into the hall, Jeoghan were no longer there. He’d gone back to his room. Seungcheol, however, was still standing by the bookshelf. He looked up at my door, his face aghast.

“Fuck,” he whispered. “I’m losing my fucking mind.” I stood, helpless, as he stalked back into his room. Doctor? I thought, Jeonghan’s words repeating in my head. Doctor for what? What wasn't his fault? I wonder… I ran my hands through my hair nervously.

You're not crazy, Seungcheol... I wish I could let you know that, somehow... I leaned against the doorjamb, thinking… could I find some way to communicate with them? I’d considered it once, but had never tried because I wasn’t sure what I would say. 'Hey, guys, it’s Mingyu, I’m fine, just invisible'? Uh, no. Maybe I could try writing a letter… but then there was the problem of having them witness it being written so they wouldn’t think it was a joke, albeit in poor taste, written by someone else… and writing a message on a mirror or wall was just creepy… too much like a horror movie. I buried my face in my hands. I needed to think… clear my head for a bit, then I could formulate some sort of plan.

I walked out of the room and quietly closed my door, despondent. It was late, nearly midnight. I slipped down the hall, where Jihoon was still on the couch, staring idly at the TV screen. I passed by him and went into the front foyer. Earlier in the day, they had put the screen door in to let the cool summer air inside from the balcony. After glancing around to make sure no one was around, I slid the door open and sneaked outside into the dark. I couldn’t handle being indoors much longer…

The streetlights seemed extraordinarily dim as I slumbed down on the hard wooden seat we kept out there. The roads were empty, there were no cars driving past, no other people outside. Every so often there would be the odd yell, the sound echoing between the many buildings that lined the street. I looked up, the stars were hidden by clouds or pollution – I couldn't tell which. . Why, God, why? What is going on? What have I done? I sighed, watching the clouds slowly lumber across the sky.

“What am I supposed to do?” I said aloud. Such weak, defeated words… My shoulders slumped, and I stuffed my hands down in the pockets of my jeans. Looking down at my ensemble, I scowled. And I’m getting so sick of these goddamn pants… Ah, the jeans. I’d been wearing them, and the same plain white shirt, for what felt like weeks – that was yet another uncanny development in my life, as if I didn’t have enough of them… I’d discovered that all my drawers had mysteriously been emptied, so I hadn’t changed clothes in who knows how long. I’d also been unable to shower, for fear of scaring everyone, especially Seungcheol, half to death. After the glass episode, I’d tried to stay out of the way as much as possible… I simply couldn’t bear the thought of seeing the undoubtedly terrified looks on their faces whenever something ‘moved’ on its own. That went double for the shower, so I’d simply stayed away, figuring that when my hair and body got too grimy, I could maybe sponge-wash in the sink after everyone had gone to bed. Turns out I had no reason for worry – my hair, amazingly enough, stayed as clean and untangled as it had been when I first woke up. I didn’t feel dirty. I didn’t smell. My face wasn’t greasy. You would think that I would appreciate that – but I didn’t, as it was simply one more thing about me that had become freaky and unnatural.

I wish I had someone to talk to… even just one person, that would be enough…Enough, at least, to keep me from completely losing my sanity. I wanted – needed – to commune with another human being. Anyone. The members, the mailman, the girl at the Shinese take out that always stuttered when she took my order, anyone! Just to have some semblance of normalcy and companionship…

I shivered in the unusually cool breeze. It was summer, wasn’t it? At least, as much as I could tell, from the temperature during the day and what others were wearing. Why the hell was it so cold? Sighing, I decided to go back and get some rest. Obviously the productive ‘thinking’ I’d planned on doing wasn’t going to happen tonight. My footsteps were quiet and soft against the tile as I approached the door. The light that had been illuminating the balcony suddenly shut off.

I stopped, staring at the door. The closed glass door; the screen had been pushed back to its normal resting place. All the lights inside had been turned off… shit. Jihoon must have gone on to bed, and I didn’t even think to get a key. Although I knew it was fruitless, I reached out and tugged on the door handle. Locked out… Does it get any worse than this? Really, is that possible?  On top of everything that was fucked-up about my life… now I was locked out of my own house for the evening? What was I supposed to do? Where should I go? 

Having no way to get off the balcony, and nowhere else to seek refuge anyway, I curled up on the wooden seat. The cushion was cold, dirty, and slightly damp, but it was the softest thing in the vicinity. I shivered again as the wind picked up, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms tightly around my legs. When the tears began trickling from the corner of my eyes, I didn’t even try to stop them. Instead, I prayed, trying to ignore how cold, uncomfortable, and useless I felt.

Now I lay me down to sleep… I pray the Lord my soul to keep… I'd never been a particularly religious person, but they were somehow comforting, those words. I chanted them over and over in my mind. It was a good distraction. The wind stopped – a small relief. The night was completely quiet, a rarity – I heard no cars, no people, not even any animals or insects. Total silence… except for my own desperate thoughts. I felt strangely dizzy and drowsy as the unspoken words echoed in my head, loud and clear.

Please, God… if there’s ever a time I need you, it’s now. Please help me. Please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting there... bear with me... Please feel free to give me any feedback!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was Wonwoo dreaming, or was this "Kim Mingyu" guy real, and if so, was he a serial killer here to kill Wonwoo? These are the real questions.

_ Wonwoo _

Some people say that wallowing in self-pity is a bad thing. That you should always look ahead, try to find the positive things about every situation, and just learn from your mistakes.

Obviously, those people are over-optimistic idiots who have never had their heart shattered by a local bag girl.

I stared the television. Running Man was on, but for a change, I didn’t feel like laughing. I watched for 10, maybe 15 minutes before getting bored. Usually, at this point, I would be chuckling at least. Junhui always said I had the most rambunctious laughter he’d ever heard… or seen.

I picked up the remote and flipped randomly through the channels. On one music channel the music video for _Gee_ was playing. _Memories of Murder_  was on another channel, a live performance of some boy group was playing on MTV, I didn't recognise them. I quickly changed the station. _Alice in Wonderland_  was playing on the Disney channel, and I left it there for a few moments, wondering what in the world Lewis Carroll had smoked when he wrote the original story. Not even the Discovery Channel, with its documentary on the mating habits of komodo dragons, interested me. I didn’t really feel like watching TV, but there wasn’t anything else to do. Jun had gone to bed, as he had to get up at some ungodly hour to go to work in the morning, so I was left alone in the living room with my pity. Once I’d flipped through every channel, I finally threw the remote down in disgust.

I made my way over to the living room stereo. It was a tall, thin console, 5-disc changer, two tape decks, and even a record player built into the top, which I thought was pretty cool. I planted myself in front of it, fiddling with the knobs to find a radio station worth listening to. A smooth, sympathetic voice cooed through the speakers, caressing my pathetic emotions.

I fell over on my side, plugging in a pair of huge, oversized black headphones and plugged them in, forgetting that I might wake up Junhui. I struggled to turn onto my back, where I lay, my fingers interlaced resting on my chest.

 _“_ _Just because I am in misery, I don't beg for no sympathy_ _,”_  the voice crooned in my ear. I slowly blinked, the start of tears slowly but surely building in the corner of my eyes. _"_ _But if it's not asking too much, heaven, please send me someone to love..."_ I closed my eyes, lost in listening, letting the tears freely fall, not caring anymore.

When the song ended and the stations host buzzed in my ears, I switched the stereo off. Well, I did feel a  _little_  better. Maybe, like, one one-hundredth of a fractioned percent better. I groaned and rolled over. 

Suddenly I felt a warm nuzzling on my ear. My tiger-striped cat, Chester, rubbed against me and purred loudly. I smiled. Maybe he wasn’t a beautiful girl, but at least  _he_ loved me.  
  
I stroked his long, soft fur and wondered what to do next. Suddenly he meowed shrilly at me. I eyed him, pursing my lips. That sounded like the  _‘I’m hungry, feed me now, dammit_ ’ meow. Jeez. People thought  _I_  ate a lot, but Chester could put me to shame. How many people can say they own a cat who weighs almost 20 pounds? He’s monstrous.

“Kitty, you don’t need any food... you’re pushing obesity as it is.” Pushing? Ha. I glanced up towards the kitchen.  
  
Standing up, I brushed myself off.  _Food,_ I thought.  _That's a brilliant idea._  My stomach actually rumbled then, at the thought of finding something to nosh on. Side-stepping my cat, who looked  _very_  excited at this new turn of events, I headed towards the door and entered the kitchen.

I shuffled around in the dark. I didn’t feel like turning on the lights, and there was enough light streaming in from the other room so I could see what I was doing. Opening the cabinets, I noisily tossed out boxes and bags of food. Crackers, Sour Cream and Onion chips, pretzels… Nah. I was in the mood for something sweet, and a  _lot_  of it. Chester meowed angrily at me when he realized that I was not feeding  _him_ , but myself. I glowered at him.  
  
“Sorry, but I think I need this more than you right now.”  _Talking to the cat. God, I’m so pathetic. No wonder_ _Eunsuh_ _’s not interested…_

I had pretty much emptied the contents of the cabinet into the counter and floor, except for a few items in the far back corner. I tried to see what they were, but since I hadn’t turned on the light, it was useless. I stood on my toes, reaching my hand back into the darkness of the cabinet, feeling around. Finally, my hand rested on a crinkly bag… Biscuits? I grasped the package, pulling it out, and squinted in the dim light. I didn't know the brand, but the image on the front showed small chocolate biscuits with a variety of coloured chocolate chips. _Hell yes._ The bag was already opened, so I dug in and grabbed a handful of the bite-sized treats.

I lowered myself down into the floor, resting my head against the lower cabinets. There were boxes of food all around me – it looked like a pregnant woman had attacked the place. I grabbed another handful and chomped down. The cookies were stale, and kind of had a strange, powdery aftertaste. But they were sweet enough, and that was all I cared about. I stuffed another handful in my mouth. And another. And another... 

Chester approached, meowing so loudly that I was sure my neighbors could hear. Jesus, who knew cats could have such a set of lungs? He began crawling on my lap, sniffing, heading for the open bag. I shrieked, holding it up and away so he couldn’t stick his furry little nose in it. “No!” I said loudly. “No! Not for you. Get down!”  
  
I finally had to pick him up and forcibly shove him off to the side. He hissed angrily and stalked off. “Be a baby, then,” I mumbled. “I’m just trying to help you out here… cats can’t eat chocolate, anyway…” Sticking my hand in the bag, I grabbed yet another handful and crammed them down.

“Wonwoo? What the hell are you doing?” The light suddenly came on and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I looked up at Junhui, my mouth gaping open, full of cookie crumbs. I must have woken him up with all my clanging around and yelling at the cat. I chewed furiously and swallowed before I answered.

“I’m having my own personal pity party, Jun. Care to join me?” I held up the bag of cookies as an offering. “What are  _you_  doing? I thought you went to bed.”  
  
“Well, I  _did_ , but then I heard all this noise and came down here to investigate.” He reached down into the bag, feeling around for a second. “Christ, did you eat the whole bag?”

Yeah, pretty much.”  
  
He shook his head. “I swear, you must have the metabolism of a six-year-old child…”  
  
“Not the body of one though,” I muttered.  
  
He snorted. “Well, all I know is that I could  _never_  get away with--” He stopped abruptly. “Wonwoo?” He held the biscuit in his palm, his face suddenly taking on an uneasy, sick tint. I furrowed my brows, confused.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“What’s the date on those biscuits?”

Date? I hadn’t even  _thought_  about that… “They have a date?”  
  
He quickly grabbed the bag from me, scanning the text on the packaging. “Oh, shit…”  
  
“What?” I demanded.  
  
He held the bag out, cringing. “January, 2014…”  
  
My jaw dropped. God, I was such a moron. “WHAT?!” I screeched. “You mean I just ate  _18-MONTH OLD COOKIES_?!?”  
  
He covered his mouth with one hand, looking queasy. With the other hand, he slowly handed me the biscuit he had just taken from the bag. I reached my hand up, reluctantly accepting it.  
  
_Oh, no_. I stared at the cookie in horror. It was  _green_. Big, furry splotches of mould covered it, like polka dots. Nasty, sickness-inducing polka dots. I clutched my stomach, imagining the havoc that mould was wreaking on my insides.

“Could my day get any better?! I mean,  _honestly_!” I wailed. “Now I’m gonna _die_  from food poisoning…”  
  
“Fucking hell, Wonwoo, how could you  _not_  have tasted that?! They’re  _covered_ … Oh my God…”  
  
”Because I’m an idiot. A big, stupid idiot who’s too lazy to even turn the lights on when he enters a room.” I sniffed loudly, burying my face in my hands. I wasn’t sure if it was the mould itself, or just the  _thought_  of the mould that was suddenly making me feel sick. “I guess I should have listened to you all those times you told me to slow down and actually  _chew_  my food.”

Junhui sighed. “Come on. Get up. There’s nothing we can do about it now. The damage is done.”   
  
Such an apt choice of words. I didn’t protest as he grabbed my arm and lifted me to my feet. “Come on, let’s get you in bed. I have a feeling you’re gonna need all the rest you can get…”  
  
“Rest? These may be my last few minutes of life, Junhui,” I mumbled, dragging along behind him up the stairs. I clutched my stomach with one hand, feeling it begin to churn. “So if you have any kind words before I go…”  
  
“Stop being so melodramatic. You’re going to be fine… you might throw up, but you’ll be fine.” I followed him into my room, where I was immediately pushed onto the bed. Jun went to grab the bin from the corner. “You’re not allergic to it, or anything…”

“Not that I  _know_  of, anyway…” I curled up in a little ball, staring at him. “Jun?”  
  
He turned, bin in hand. “Yeah?”  
  
“Why do I suck so much?”  
  
The sigh he let out then sounded like a hurricane gust flowing out of a drain pipe. “Oh my God Wonwoo, you don't suck Jesus...” He walked over and set the bin next to the bed looking at me pitifully. “There, in case you get sick. I’ll go get you a glass of water… but I’m not going to give you any anti-nausea stuff, because I think it would probably be for the best if you… emptied your stomach.”  
  
“You’re probably right,” I mumbled, burrowing my face into the pillow. I heard him leave, and minutes later, he came back upstairs with a tall, ice-cold glass of water. I watched as he set it on my bedside table.  
  
“Thanks,” I said softly, fidling with the fringe of the blankets, now feeling slightly embarrassed at the scene I had made. 

“You’re welcome.” He turned on my lamp and then walked over to flip off the main light. Then, sighing quietly, he pulled up my computer chair next to the bed and sat down.  
  
“What are you doing?” I asked.  
  
“I’ll wait up with you a little while, in case you need anything. Until you go to sleep, hopefully.”  
  
“Junhui...” I really  _was_  like a dongsaeng; someone he had to watch after. “You don’t have to do that.”  
  
“Well, if you  _do_  get really sick, I don’t want you to be alone…”

“Go back to bed,” I said. I felt guilty enough waking him up in the first place. And now he was waiting up on me just to make sure I would be okay? He had to get up at five in the morning… “I’ll be okay,” I insisted.   
  
“Wonwoo…”  
  
“I’ll be okay,” I repeated. “Besides,  _I’m_  not the one who has to get up early.”  
  
He sighed. “Alright, alright…” He stood up, scooting the chair back in front of the far window. “I’ll go back to bed. But listen, wake me up if you start feeling  _really_  bad, okay?”  
  
“Okay.” I watched him retreat towards the door. “Thank you.” He looked over his shoulder, a soft smile gracing his features. However, he didn't reply, silently closing the door.

I closed my eyes, exhausted from the events of the day, praying for rest. I heard some crickets chirping outside. Surprisingly enough, I began to feel drowsy almost immediately. There’s something about pitch black darkness, I guess. I rolled over on my back, gently covering my gurgling stomach with my hands, hoping I would be unconscious soon.  
  
__What would I do without Junhui?__ I thought, because God knows I couldn't take care of myself.

******

I was trapped in a maze, a tall, immaculately trimmed hedge labyrinth, running, desperately chasing someone who I was unable to keep up with. In the dream, I somehow knew, because you always just  _know_  in dreams, that this person was the key. That he (because again, though I had never seen this person’s face, I just  _knew_  it was a ‘he’) knew the way out, and if I ever wanted to escape, I needed him. I was running as fast as I could, but it was completely futile… there were large rocks along the path, and my speed was slowed from darting around them to keep from tripping, which increased the distance between us even more. Finally, I came to a set of forked paths, and stopped, unsure which way he’d taken.   
  
“Wait,” I yelled, gasping for breath, leaning against the prickly bushes. “Please, wait for me…” My legs trembled from the exertion, and I fought to stay upright. There was no answer, just a soft, whistling wind blowing through my hair. I fought back angry tears. I didn’t know what to do… where to go… Fantastic. I was lost; trapped forever among the tall, trimmed hedges…  
  
Frustrated, I spun around and kicked one of the smaller rocks as hard as I could. It sailed through the air, thumping against the ground and rolling away. I had turned back to the fork, cursing my luck, when I heard an indignant cry.  
  
 “I think you should apologise for that.” I slowly turned, my heart hammering in my chest. I’d thought I was alone… 

Just a little ways down the path, a fat, furry cat had suddenly appeared, carefully licking his paws… only, it wasn’t  _my_  cat. Chester certainly didn’t have pink and purple stripes…  _This_  cat looked like he’d fallen in the bargain bin at Claire’s. He looked up, and… smiled. A huge, bare-teeth, grimacing _smile_. What the hell? Cats can’t  _smile_ …  
  
“Lose something?” he asked. Forget smiling, when the fuck did cats learn to _talk_? I noticed, then, the rock I’d kicked lying next to him. I must have accidentally clipped him with it.   
  
“Sorry about that…” I said slowly. The cat merely nodded an acknowledgement and went back to cleansing himself. “I didn’t see you.”  
  
“Most don’t…” I watched, amazed, as the cat suddenly faded into nothingness, part by part… first the ears, then the tail… the nose and eyes, the legs… until all that was left was that hideous smile. No wonder I’d accidentally hit him earlier… what sort of creature could make itself invisible? I blinked.  _Wait a minute… Cheshire cat? Ah, I get it…_ _Cheshire_ _,_ _Chester_ _… close enough, right… Now where’s_ _Alice_ _, or the Mad Hatter?_  


The most surreal, disorienting moment you can possibly have in a dream is the moment when you actually become  _aware_  that you’re dreaming. When you stop taking it so seriously, because you realize that all the madness is just a product of your overactive imagination. You remain in this unreal world, unable to control your words or your actions, simply waiting for the dream to be over and for your mind to wake up. It’s pretty annoying, actually. 

Ah, right – I'm Alice.  
  
“So…” I couldn’t keep myself from speaking again, despite feeling very silly for doing so. “Which way should I go?” The question surprised even me. What was he going to do, pull a map out of his non-existent pocket and give me directions?  
  
“Well, that depends on where you want to get to.”*  
  
“I—I don’t know, I don’t know who, or what, I’m after, exactly…”  
  
“Then it really doesn't matter which way you go.”*  
  
Okay, that was no help whatsoever… of course, I wasn’t sure why I expected assistance from a pastel-coloured talking cat… “Thanks,” I mumbled. “You’re a tremendous help.”   
  
“I try.” He looked up, his smile growing freakishly wide and frightening. It was unnerving. I took a few uncertain steps back and groaned, squatting down and burying my face in my hands. When I finally looked up, the cat was gone. When he hadn’t reappeared after several long, silent minutes, I sighed.  
  
“Great,” I muttered. “I’m lost, I’m alone, and I’m going fucking mad…”  
  
“Lost? Perhaps. Alone? Never.” I snapped to attention. Where was that coming from? I looked all around, bewildered. Suddenly the grin appeared, floating in the air like some sort of weird crescent-shaped helium balloon. “Mad? Of course. You can’t help that. We’re all mad here. I’m mad… you’re mad… in fact, you may have noticed that I’m not entirely  _here_ …”*   
  
Slowly the rest of his body appeared, one part at a time, until once again a complete cat was sitting on the ground in front of me. I stared. “How do you do that?” I asked.   
  
He ignored my question, choosing instead to ask one of his own. “How do  _you_ do it?”  
  
“Do it?”   
  
“Do what?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I asked you first.”  
  
“No, you didn’t!” I was horribly confused. And I felt like an imbecile for not being able to follow a simple conversation with a  _cat_. I scowled and turned back to the maze. Fine. I would just find my own damn way out… anything had to be better than staying around here with  _that_  weird thing.  
  
“You need to hurry. He’s waiting on you.”  
  
“I doubt that…” I said, bewildered. “I can’t catch up with him, even if I knew where he went. He’s too far out of reach…”  
  
“ _Is_  he?”  
  
The tone of his voice was amused and slightly condescending. I ignored him and bit my lip, evaluating my options. I could just wait around here until I woke up… but that would mean having to spend more time in the company of the cat, and he was really pissing me off. Apparently I had no patience even when unconscious. I started to take a tentative step towards the right-side path when he spoke again.  
  
“Oh, by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went  _that_  way.”* When I swivelled my head to look, the cat had one pink paw lifted in the air, indicating the furthermost left fork. He gave one last hideous grin before disappearing yet again.   
  
“Thanks,” I said softly, but didn’t get a reply. He was gone again, and apparently this time, for good. Sighing, I followed his directions, taking the right path. I didn’t run this time – what was the point? I knew it wasn’t real...   
  
I turned a corner, and from the corner of my eye, caught a flash of movement. The hedges up ahead were rustling, as if someone had just brushed past them. I furrowed my brows – was it him? How was that possible? Surely he was miles ahead of me by now. I sped up to a rapid walk, craning my neck to check around other corners. I stopped, listening – I could hear soft footsteps ahead of me.   
  
_What the hell… it’s just a dream. Might as well see who it is…_ I abruptly took off at a run, determined to catch up.   
  
“Hey!” I shouted. “Slow down!” Naturally, that didn’t work at all – in fact, I was pretty sure he sped up. Figures. Even in my dreams, people were running in the other direction. I scowled and kicked it into high gear, leaping over the rocks and dashing around the sharp hedges. At one point, I knew I was close – he was just around the next corner, if I could just step it up a little faster…  
  
Obviously, this would be the point where my natural-born gracefulness – still evident even in the dream world – stepped in and effectively ruined any chance of reaching him. I felt my foot catch on one of the rocks, and the next thing I knew, I was sailing through the air, my momentum propelling me forward. I saw the dirt path coming towards me and cringed, even though I knew it wasn’t going to hurt. I hit the ground hard, screaming.

******

I bolted upright in bed, clapping my hand over my chest. Beads of sweat had formed on my temple, and they slowly rolled down my face, tracing wet lines across the skin. I was breathing like I had just won a marathon. “Shit,” I gasped. “What a fucked-up dream.” Cheshire cats? Mazes? That’d teach me for watching weird television before going to bed. 

I fell back against the pillows and tried to re-orient myself, which was sort of hard, as I felt even sicker than I had before I’d fallen asleep. Combine that with a sense of uncontrollable dizziness, and, well… I was suddenly  _very_  glad the bin was next to my bed. And God, I was thirsty. I reached out, tentatively feeling for the glass of water Junhui had left for me. My hand grasped it, and I sat halfway up, guzzling it down. I wanted more… my mouth still felt like it was stuffed full of cotton. I leaned over and flipped on the light, cringing when it burned my dilated eyes.

And then I promptly screamed.   
  
There was a strange boy sitting on my computer chair in front of the window. He had soft black hair that flopped lazily over his forehead, and even in the dim lamp light I could see his stunningly caramel eyes. His skin was smooth and tanned. Although he was sitting down, I could tell he was tall because of the way his legs splayed out in front of him. Reminded me of myself. He had on a snug white shirt and dark pants. Basically, he personified what I had always pictured Adonis as looking like, except with jeans and Doc Martens. But Adonis or not, he was trespassing.

He looked startled at my shriek; indeed, almost scared himself. “Who the  _fuck_ are you?” I asked, my voice quivering despite my effort to sound tough and menacing. I wanted to add an additional threat, but I was too shocked to even come up with anything else.  
  
He stared, his eyes widening. His jaw dropped. “You can see me,” he whispered. “Oh, my God… you can  _see_  me…”  
  
“I’m calling the police,” I whispered. Where was my phone? My eyes darted all around, frantically searching for the receiver, which was  _not_  on the hook, as it should have been. Oh, God… If I tried yelling again, would Junhui hear me through both of our closed doors?   
  
He was still stuttering. “You—you can  _see_  me!” Was it my imagination, or were his eyes glittering with un-shed tears? I watched, in horror, as he stood up and started to walk towards me, his expression frozen in shock.  
  
“ _Back off!”_  I screamed shrilly, pulling my blankets up around me to cover my body. To my surprise, he complied, stopping and slowly walking backwards until he was sitting in the chair again. Not what I expected from someone who was probably a serial killer and about to murder me.  
  
“Who are you and what do you want?” I managed to get out. “Is it money? Take it. It’s over in my desk, there’s a jar with over 500 000 won in cash…”  
  
“No, no…” he said. I couldn’t understand the high-pitched bafflement in his tone. Jesus, I wasn’t blind, of  _course_  I could  _see_  him. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. But… you can see me, right? You can see what I look like?”  
  
_He’s insane. That’s what his problem is. Great._  My eyes darted around again, and I finally spotted the phone in the floor, next to my desk. If I leaped over there, and startled him, maybe I could get it before he did… “I’m calling the police,” I repeated.   
  
“No, please, listen…” he started talking then, but I didn’t hear a word. I was too busy trying to figure out a way to get out of this mess unharmed. Well, my threats to call the cops didn’t seem to faze him, so I tried another tactic.  
  
“Okay, buddy, I know taekwondo, so if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get the fuck out right now,” I growled, interrupting him. Well, that was actually a total lie, as my ‘method’ of self-defense would most likely involve kicking him directly in the nads, but it sounded good nonetheless.   
  
He stared at me. “What? I’m not going to hurt you. Listen, I need your help… please, just listen to me…”  
  
“Help?” I repeated. Help with what? Science homework? That’s about all I was good for. I scrunched my features, staring at him, trying to pinpoint why he looked so familiar to me, when I was sure I hadn’t seen him around on campus. I was fairly certain I would remember seeing someone who looks like   _this_  . “Who  _are_  you?”  
  
He looked me square in the eye, actually seeming a little surprised that I didn’t know already. “My name is Mingyu..”  
  
“Mingyu…” I trailed off, indicating that I wanted a last name. I was stalling, still frantically trying to think of my best method to escape. I looked over at the clock on my nightstand.  **5:34**. Shit. Junhui had already left for work… which meant I was alone in the house. I was on my own, as far as finding a way out. I eyed him. He looked pretty strong – could probably match me, and if he had a ten inch knife I was definitely done for. _Maybe I could take him down_ … I studied my lamp, picturing myself lifting it up and breaking it over his head.  
  
“Uh, Kim,” he finished. “Kim Mingyu.”  
  
Well that really fucking helped, now I knew the serial killers name, what next?  
  
I stared at him, trying to ignore the unsettling dizziness I couldn’t seem to shake. I needed to be more intimidating “I ought to shoot you on sight right now…” Yes, that'll do, make him think I had a gun.  
  
“Please don’t.” He looked shocked and slightly amused at my comment rather than scared – not what I was going for.  “Now, if you let me explain--”  
  
I ignored everything he said for the next ten or so minutes. What the fuck? What was going on here? Why did he even want to kill me did I beat him in a chemistry quiz or something? And how in the hell did he get in here? Through the window? I never locked them, I never thought I had the need to. I was on the second floor, it would take an act of guerilla warfare to make it through my windows… so surely not. Had I remembered to lock the downstairs doors?   
  
_Oh, shit_ … I hadn’t…  _fuck_ … Was it still considered breaking and entering if the person didn’t actually have to  _break_  in?   
  
I focused my attention back to him briefly, noting his lithe, lean body and annoyingly attractive face. He didn't seem like the serial killer type. Looked more like he would wake up early in the morning to make his Mother breakfast in bed. He looked like a tall, lanky puppy.  
  
“—and I was walking around on the balcony, because I needed some fresh air, and when I came back to my house--”  
  
Christ, was he still talking? I shook off my thoughts and attempted to listen.   
  
”—so when I woke up, I was lying out there on your lounge chair--” he was saying.   
  
_Woke up?_  
  
Oh, God. Of course…   
  
“I’m still dreaming,” I said aloud, interrupting his long speech. Relief washed over me. Still dreaming… Wow, this was seriously fucked up. Cheshire cats, hedge mazes, and now someone called Kim Mingyu? What an odd combination. The images of the cat and the hedge could be explained because of what I’d seen on TV, but I no clue why he was here. “I am never eating buscuits again…”  
  
“What?” He stared at me. “You’re not dreaming, I’m  _really_ \--”  
  
“Sure, sure,” I said dismissively. “But I’m tired, and I’m going back to bed now. Just be sure to wake me up when Girl's Generation arrive. Oh, and I hear that Hyun Bin is coming over for tea later, so be sure to let him in.”  
  
He let out an irritated noise, sort of like an indignant grunt. “That’s not funny! I--”  
  
“Okay, I’m sorry,” I interrupted. Anything to get him to shut up and let me get back to ‘sleep’. He was worse than the cat. “Whatever you say, Mingyu.” I yawned, lying back down in my covers. “Goodnight.”  
  
“Wh-what the…” I heard him sputter. “Listen to me!”  
  
I ignored him, rolling over and burying my face in the soft duvet. And I attempted to block out any more crazy thoughts of Kim Mingyu or weird Cheshire cats. I relaxed, no longer fighting the light-headed feeling that had been plaguing me during our entire conversation.   
  
“Kim Mingyu,” I repeated drowsily just before the wooziness took over and rendered everything black. “That's some fucked up shit…”    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * These lines are directly quoted from Alice In Wonderland by Lewis Carroll ((both the novel and the play))
> 
> Woah look they finally met!! I think the next chapter is gonna explain how Mingyu got there and what not, basically the whole situation from Minyu's perspective.  
> I feel like this is gonna be a really long story idk man


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lot's of confusion and delusion make it difficult for Mingyu to explain to Wonwoo that yes, he is real.

_Mingyu_

There was this fair my parents used to take me to when I was young, one of those local deals with greasy, fried food, animal shows and cheap, dinky rides. My cousins used to drag me on the Scrambler every time we went, despite my emphatic protestations. I hated it. I’d get off the wildly spinning ride feeling disoriented, nauseous, and exhausted.

Which was sort of how I felt when I first woke up from my outdoor nap – my head felt light and loose, like I’d been twirling around. Like my equilibrium was frantically trying to balance. I’d never experienced vertigo before, but I was certain that this was what it felt like. I groaned, rubbing my face against the cushion.

The first thing I heard was laughter. Loud, annoying, shrieking laughter. And then voices. Which were also loud, annoying, and shrieking.

“ _Haha! Sooah! Omigod, hurry up! I’m fucking freezing!”_

_“I can’t find my keys!”_

_“You guys, I am sooooo drunk…”_

I groaned, sitting up. Where am I? I wondered groggily. I mentally retraced my steps… okay, I’d gone outside for some fresh air… tried to go back inside… the door had been locked, so I had lain on the chaise lounge on our porch… and, I supposed, I had fallen asleep.

_“Did you see that guy at Starbuck’s who I was talking to? He was totally hot, and was so checking me out…”_

Who were those girls, and what were they doing so close to the dorm? Fans who'd somehow managed to get past security? Fuck... I shook my head, and for the first time, noticed my surroundings. I was still lying on a lounge chair, freezing my ass off... except, I was surrounded by a suburban block of houses. I looked down, discovering it wasn’t my lounge chair, and obviously not even my dorm. It was a house. I glanced around, amazed at the strange homes.

I stood up and walked over to the edge of the porch, leaning over the rail. I had a perfect, unobstructed view of their front door. “Hey,” I called to them. “What road is this?” They didn’t turn around. I tried again, this time much louder. “HEY! CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Still nothing. Fuck.

“Great,” I muttered. “Still invisible…”

 _“I GOT IT! Omigod, it was in my purse the whole time!”_ I watched, bemused, as the shortest girl screamed and held up her key, jumping up and down. They managed to unlock their door and scuttle inside. I considered following them, simply to try and figure out where I was and what was going on, but eventually decided against it. First things first… where the hell was I, exactly?  
  
I turned and slowly walked down the steps of the porch, ambling over to the footpath. I looked back at the house I’d just stepped down from. It was a nice enough little house, plain, two stories, brick, with dark-colored shutters. Big shrubs hulked beside the narrow front porch. It had a two-car garage, and there was an ancient, worn basketball goal affixed overtop the door. A silver car was parked outside, a huge blue **W**  sticker in the back window. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, studying the house. I’d never seen it before in my life. There was absolutely _nothing_ familiar about it.

 _Where am I?_ I wandered down the footpath for nearly ten minutes until I came to an intersection with street signs. I wasn't familiar with any of the roads' names, anxiety bubbled inside my throat. I hugged my arms across my chest as a cool breeze blew past, cursing my thin t-shirt. What to do now?  
  
Sighing, I trudged back down the way I came, studying each house as I walked past, looking for signs of life. It was dark out, however, the neighbourhood lit only by flickering streetlamps, and judging by the dark windows everywhere, it must have been _long_ past the general bedtime hour. Except, of course, for wild sorority girls who had been out partying…

 _How did I get here?_ That was an even more disturbing question. It wasn’t like someone had picked me up and carried me here… had I sleepwalked? Possibly… although I’d never done that before in my entire life. Not to mention I’d apparently managed to sleepwalk to a part of town I’d never seen before. I retreated to the house where I’d awakened and stared up at it.  
  
_There’s got to be a reason why I’m **here**_ , _at this house_ , I mused. I approached the front door, climbing back up the porch steps. _Maybe it’s someone I know… maybe I came here for a reason. Maybe…_ I paused. Well, I  _had_ prayed for help, right? To be saved? Hmmm. My mind whirred with that thought. Swallowing, I decided to go inside.  
  
It felt really wrong to be entering a strange house, but I was cold, desperate, and curious, and I reasoned that I wasn’t there to do any harm. Especially when I grabbed the door handle and it opened easily. Huh. Whoever lived here hadn’t even bothered to lock it – Jeez, that was practically inviting criminals to come in and raid the place. I stepped inside the foyer and locked the door behind me. _So, actually, I’m doing them a favour_ , I reassured myself.

The wooden floors in the foyer squeaked softly as I crept down the hall. I didn’t want to turn on any lights, so I opened my eyes wide to adjust them to the dark and felt along the wall with one hand to keep from falling. My hands bumped up against frame after frame… hmmm. Apparently whoever lived here was an art lover. I reached the end of the hallway, struggling to see in the faint moonlight that spilled through the windows.  
  
I’d reached a den – there were huge, plush leather couches, a large TV in one corner, as well as tall bookshelves covered with pictures frames and knick-knacks. I walked over, trying to observe the photos, but the light was too faint to see any details. A large stereo system was in another corner, with several CDs scattered in front. I walked over slowly and stacked the CD's neatly. There, that was better.

I stood back up and wandered through a doorway into the next room, which appeared to be a kitchen. I took a few steps inside and then nearly tripped over something on the floor. What the hell?  
  
There were packages all over the kitchen tile, strewn everywhere – boxes of food; biscuits, chips, lollies, pretzels. It looked like the cabinets had exploded.  _What a slob_ , I reflected, surveying the mess. _Why in the world would you not clean this up?_ _Although…_ My stomach rumbled slightly, looking at a box of Ritz crackers. I hadn’t eaten in… well, who knows how long? My meals at home had been reduced to sneaking food in the middle of the night, when I was certain no one was around. I bent down and grabbed a roll of crackers from the box. It wasn’t stealing… I fully intended to pay for it, in some way, whenever I could.

I ripped open the package as quietly as I could and stuffed several of the crackers in my mouth. Crisp, buttery, and delicious. I’d eaten the entire roll before I realised it, and so I looked for a bin, feeling a little guilty for devouring it all. After I threw away the wrapper, I turned to the cabinets, thinking. All the salt from the crackers had made me thirsty… I carefully opened up each cabinet, grateful when they didn’t squeak. I found a set of plastic cups and grabbed one. There was a pitcher of water in the refrigerator, along with a jug of tea, cans of Coke, and several strange bottles labelled  _Dr Pepper_. I filled the cup with water and downed it.  
  
_Eating and drinking food from a house I’ve just broken into_ , I thought. I felt like Goldilocks – what was next? Go stake out a bed and have a nap? I nearly laughed at the thought as I walked back into the living room, cup in hand. I eyed the lounge. Well, maybe not a bed… but it sure looked comfortable. And it wasn’t like I could do much else until the sun came up. I eased down on it and laid back. I didn’t sleep, however – I felt like I’d done nothing _but_ sleep, so I wasn’t tired. Not to mention that I was confused and intrigued by this sudden change of location.

 _Where am I? Why am I here? Whose house is this? Where are the members?_ My head pounded from all the thought processes running rampant within. I was so tired of not knowing what was going on; of being stuck in this horrible limbo with no one to talk to. It was like a terrible, unjust punishment… something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. But what had I done to deserve it?

******

I had been staring up at the whitewashed ceiling for a few hours when I first heard signs of life. A door opened upstairs, and I heard the sound of water rushing through the pipes. I carefully sat up, listening. According to a tall grandfather clock against the wall, it was 5:00AM.  
  
_Damn… who gets up this early?_   Well, I guess I was about to find out. I nervously waited, sitting ramrod-straight against the cushions.  
  
Twenty minutes later, I heard the stairs creaking. I suddenly felt anxious, like I couldn’t catch my breath… and I was too edgy to sit. I quickly leaped to my feet and stood nervously by the couch, waiting to see who was coming down the hall. I didn’t have to wait long. I saw the silhouette of someone approach, and then a bright light was flipped on, temporarily blinding me. I threw my arms up in front of my eyes with a soft cry.

A young man, lightly built and tall - though not as tall as me - walked into the room, looking around. He was dressed in business casual – nice khakis, button-up shirt rolled up to his elbow, shiny leather lace ups with his jet black hair styled neatly.  I stared at him – he was quite attractive, I'll admit it. Not in a knock-out model type of way, but the sort of person that once you looked at him, you had trouble tearing your eyes away. I watched as he picked up a wallet from the end table and went into the kitchen, humming. I slowly followed him.

I leaned against the wall as he sighed loudly and began picking up the mess in the floor. “Agh, Wonwoo-ah” he sighed. His voice was deep and smooth. “What am I gonna do with you.”  
  
Wonwoo? Who was Wonwoo? Was there someone else in the house, too?  
  
A loud, screaming banshee startled me. I looked down at the ball of fur that streaked into the kitchen. Well, not a banshee, but it sure sounded like one… Good God, was that a cat or a dog? Surely it was too big to be a cat…  
  
“Awww, kitty… I guess you want a treat,” the boy said. The cat shrieked in response. I stared, amazed, as he grabbed a bag from the counter and took a piece of cat food out. I thought the thing was going to bite off his fingers when he bent to feed it.

“Jeez,” I mumbled aloud. “It’s like a fucking mountain lion, or something…” I continued to watch him put away the food from the floor, until he finally straightened up, grabbed a green water bottle from the refrigerator, and took off out the door. He flipped off the light as he left, enveloping me in darkness once more.  
  
“Well,” I murmured. “That was interesting.” Hmmm… _Wonwoo_ … I quietly stepped back in the hall, looking upstairs. My curiosity was piqued – who was this ‘Wonwoo’, and what was wrong with him to make the handsome boy take pity? I gnawed on my lip, debating – go upstairs, and have a look around? Or wait until morning for him to come out?

In the end, my morbid curiosity won out. I slowly crept upstairs to investigate. They squeaked and groaned as I climbed up, and I cursed, hoping he didn’t hear. I made it to the top and looked around – a hallway, filled with doors. There was a large bookcase against the wall on the right, cluttered with books. All of the doors were open except for the one right next to the staircase. I wandered down the hall, investigating each of the open rooms – two bedrooms, though one looked unlived-in, two bathrooms, and the door at the end of the hall led to an enormous room that looked like an office. I turned and walked back, eyeing the closed door.  
  
_He must be in there…_ I wasn’t sure why I was being so nosy, or why I cared to know who was inside so badly. I hesitated briefly before grasping the doorknob. I quietly turned it, opened the door, and stepped inside. I softly closed it behind me.  
  
It was practically pitch black inside – the curtains had been drawn and crossed over to keep any light from entering. I waited a moment to let my eyes adjust before looking around. I could see the outline of the furniture – desk, bedside table, armoire, bed… and a still figure, sleeping in the bed.  
  
_This is so wrong… it’s like I’m spying… I should leave…_ Yet, I didn’t. I took a tentative step forward – there was a chair over close to the window, and I intended to sit in it. Well, I _had_ intended to sit, that is, before I promptly tripped over an unseen pile of clothes and collapsed into the floor with a loud thud.  
  
“Shit!” I hissed. I remained perfectly still, listening. Nothing. Damn, he didn’t wake up? I managed to climb back to my feet. I’d thought Soonyoung was a heavy sleeper… I shuffled over to the chair and sat down, sighing.  
  
“Mmmm…” I jerked to attention at the sound of a soft, deep voice. “Which way…” The rest of the sentence was unintelligible. _Is he talking to me?_  
  
I waited anxiously, but he was quiet for several minutes. Sleeptalking? I heard another phrase, then, which sounded like ‘fucking mad’, but I wasn’t sure. Then he groaned and sighed. Definitely still asleep… I smiled ruefully. _Seungcheol used to talk in his sleep… drove me crazy when we were travelling and trying to get some rest on the bus…_  
  
“Seungcheol,” I murmured aloud. God, I missed him, even the constant nagging. I missed _all_ of them. I stared at the floor. There was a CD case lying next to the chair, and so I picked it up, struggling to read the front.   
  
“ _ARGH!”_  
  
I dropped the CD case and nearly fell out of the chair. The boy, ‘Wonwoo’, I presumed, had bolted upright in bed with a ear-splitting shriek. I could barely make out the outline of his heaving form. “Shit,” he gasped. “What a fucked-up dream.”  
  
_Well, what a lovely mouth you have_ , I thought. My heart was pounding; he’d nearly scared the shit out of me. I leaned back in the chair, trying to calm myself down. He fumbled around with something on the bedside table for a minute, and suddenly the room was filled with muted, soft light. I squinted, trying to get a good look at him. However, before I could properly focus, I was frightened by yet _another_ scream, this time much louder.  
  
“AAAAAAH!” I found myself looking directly into a pair of huge, stunned eyes. A thin, pale boy, who looked about my age, maybe older, was sitting up in bed, clutching his blanket to his chest. I couldn’t look away from his shocked face. He looked wild and terrified – his kinky, curly hair was sticking up in all directions, mouth agape, eyes wide… and staring at me. _Staring at me_. I stared back, my throat dry.  
  
“Who the _fuck_ are you?” he said, his voice quavering. For several moments, I couldn’t speak. What? Impossible… I turned around, looking behind me, to the sides, _everywhere_ , just to make sure he was speaking to me. When I looked at him again, he was still staring. Still frightened. Oh, God, was this happening? Was this really happening? My eyes started feeling hot; prickly.  
  
 “You can see me,” I whispered. “Oh, my God… You can _see_ me…”  
  
He said something else, but I was still too dazed to absorb what was going on. “You--” I stuttered as I spoke again. “You can _see_ me!” I resisted the urge to lift my hand and wipe away the tears that threatened to fall. This wasn’t a dream, was it? This was really happening… Finally, _finally_ , someone actually noticed my existence… even if he _did_ look like an escapee from the local prison…  
  
I stood up, without thinking, and walked towards him. I suddenly wanted to touch him, to make sure he was really there, to feel the softness of someone else’s skin against mine. I stopped immediately when he shrank back and shouted at me. “BACK OFF!”  
  
Oh, right. In my amazement, I had nearly forgotten that to him, I must have appeared like some sort of criminal, breaking into his house and then spying on him as he slept. I tried frantically to think of some way to explain myself – I hadn’t expected for anything _remotely_ like this to happen, I had no idea what to say…  
  
“Who are you and what do you want? Is it money? It’s over in my desk, there’s a jar with over 500 000 won in cash…” He looked at me with beseeching eyes.  
  
“No, no…” I said softly. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you…” He didn’t look convinced. “But… you can see me, right? You can see what I look like?”  
  
He had been looking frantically around the room as I spoke, but once I’d asked that question to reaffirm my suspicions, he looked up at me as if I was a total idiot. Which, I guess, it did sound like an odd question. “I’m calling the police,” he said.  
  
I was tempted to say _‘Go right ahead, it’s not like they’re gonna find anything’_ but thought better of it. Best to try to be straightforward and polite. “No, please, listen,” I pleaded. “Let me explain. I know this sounds… totally crazy. I’m not here to hurt you – in fact, I don’t know why I’m here. I just--”  
  
He suddenly interrupted me. “Okay, buddy, I know taekwondo, so if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get the fuck out right now.”  
  
“What?!” Taekwondo? It wouldn't surprise me if he did know taekwondo, but I doubted that he would use it. “I’m not going to hurt you. Listen, I need your help…” He was looking around again, not paying attention. I sighed. “Please, just listen to me…”  
  
“Help?” He snapped back to attention, staring at me. “Who _are_ you?”  
  
Hmmm… so he didn’t recognize me. “Mingyu,” I said.  
  
He raised one eyebrow. “Mingyu…” he said slowly. I realised he was looking for a last name. I sighed.  
  
“Uh, Kim. Kim Mingyu.”  
  
His expression, surprisingly, didn’t budge. He merely blinked once.  
  
“I ought to shoot you on sight right now…”  
  
Good God, what was with all the threats? Screaming, wanting to kick my ass and shoot me? I realised that I _was_ an intruder, but I hadn’t done a thing to him. Couldn’t he see that I was totally harmless? “Please don’t,” I said. “Now… if you’ll just let me explain…”  
  
He nodded slowly and I continued. “Well, it’s like this. Bear with me, because this sounds _totally_ fucked-up crazy, but I'm telling the truth. Something’s happened to me that I don’t understand... You see, I'm from Seoul. I live in a dorm with my band mates, still... so I woke up one day, in my own bed, but everything had changed. It was like I didn’t even _live_ there – all my stuff had been moved, and my room was clean like no one had lived in it for awhile. So when I went to talk to my everyone… they couldn’t see me. It was like I was invisible, or something… I couldn’t touch them, either…” He kept nodding, and for a moment, I wondered if he was even really hearing what I was saying. However, I rambled on, telling him all the sordid details of the last few weeks at my house. I was talking so fast I could barely keep my breath. Invisible? Check. Untouchable? Check. Everyone discussing me in third person? Check. Locking myself out of my own home? Check.  
  
“—I suddenly got so tired, and I fell asleep on the chair outside,” I continued, nearly done with my tale. “And I don’t know what happened, but when I woke up, I was lying out there on your lawn chair, and I have no idea why. I didn’t know what else to do, so I--”  
  
“I’m still dreaming,” he interrupted me suddenly, his voice full of wonder. I immediately shut up and stared at him. _What_? I’d just spent ten minutes detailing the situation at hand, and he was going to dismiss it all as a dream? “I am never eating biscuits again,” he said, which further served to confuse me. Biscuits? Who said anything about biscuits?  
  
“What?” I demanded. “You’re _not_ dreaming, I’m _really_ \--”  
  
“Sure, sure… But I’m tired, and I’m going back to bed now,” he sighed. I sputtered with irritation. “Just be sure to wake me up when Girl's Generation arrive. Oh, and I hear that Hyun Bin is coming over for tea later, so be sure to let him in.”  
  
_No_. He didn’t just say that… Being stuck in limbo for months and having it all dismissed as a joke did not sit well with me. “That’s _not_ funny!” I growled. “I--”  
  
“Okay, I’m sorry. Whatever you say, Mingyu.” He yawned loudly and fell back against the pillow, flipping the lamp off before he rolled over, facing away from me.  
  
“What the…” I glowered at the darkness. “ _Listen_ to me!”  
  
He didn’t respond for a minute. Then, finally, he spoke one last time, his voice thick and tired. “Kim Mingyu,” he said, and snickered. “That's some fucked up shit...”  
  
I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at his still form. Figures. I finally meet someone who can actually communicate with me, and he’s a total dickhead. _Nevermind the fact that you sneaking into his room was totally wrong,_ my inner voice of reason stated. _Or that anyone in this situation would have reacted the same way._ I scowled at that irritating inner voice. Reacted the same way? Not quite.  
  
“Fine,” I muttered. “But I’ll still be here in the morning. And I guess we'll talk  _then_.” I stood up, scooting my way towards the door. He didn’t so much as budge, apparently unconscious once again. Well, he would just have to get his ‘Invisible Mingyu’ crash course tomorrow morning. I walked out into the hallway and closed the door behind me, my heart still pounding in my chest. Once I had calmed down, my irritation gone, I had only one thought: He could see me. What the fuck was going on?

******

I was sitting downstairs a little later, watching early-morning cartoons on their television. Hey, what did it matter? The secret was out. He knew I was here – or rather _would_ know, when he got up and started _listening_ to me. I just had to make sure to keep an eye out for the handsome boy… I had a feeling the whole situation was going to get very complicated when he got home.

I grabbed one of the countless magazines spread across the coffee table, it turned out to be  _The Star,_ a bold headline slapped across the centre reading 'B.A.P's NEW ALBUM'.

I wrinkled my nose, confused. B.A.P had a new album? Jeez, where had I been? I hadn’t even heard anything about it… unsettled, I tossed it down and sifted through the rest of the magazines on the table. Nothing really interested me… until I scooted two off to the side, revealing a black leatherbound book that had been under the pile. A yearbook. Interesting… _2013_. I slowly opened the front cover, peering at the wild, crammed scrawl of classmates all over the autograph pages. I rolled my eyes. Although I had never had the opportunity to write in one of these, I knew what they were all about. Lots of  ‘You’re a nice guy, stay the same!’ and ‘I enjoyed having math together, see ya next year!’ bullshit messages. After debating whether it was too nosy to be reading his personal notes, I decided it wasn’t and pulled the book into my lap. 

 _Wonwoo, You are the funniest person I’ve ever known!!! I’ll never forget all the crazy times we had together. Stay away from German Shepherds! Ha ha! Love, Jihyeon_  
  
_Wonwoo, thanks for all your help in Teacher Jung's class! I would have failed if it hadn’t been for you! Thanks! Dongjae_  
  
_You are the weirdest guy I’ve ever known, but you’re pretty cool. Keep in touch. Haeun._  
  
Well, that was an interesting mix of messages. ‘Weird’? _Yeah, Haeun, I’d say I agree with you there_. There were a ton of other notes on the spread, but nothing interesting caught my eye. I flipped to the next one, where a huge, loopy scrawl took up nearly a fourth of the page.  
  
_Wonwoo_ _, I just wanted to let you know what an inspiration you are to all those other who wanted to go to the dance but didn’t have dates. You showed them, didn’t you? Yours, Sooah_  
  
I blinked, re-reading that last message. Was that sarcasm? It sure didn’t seem very nice to me… So the guy didn’t have a date… big deal. Lots of people go to events without dates… well, not that I would know much about going to dances. I flipped the yearbook back, turning until I got to the student pictures. There weren’t very many pages, as it appeared to have been a small school. About halfway through the ‘Seniors’ section, I found his portrait. _Jeon Wonwoo_. A pair of playful, scrunched up eyes and a crooked smile looked back at me. Something about him seemed so familiar, like I'd met him before, a long time ago...I wondered if he would feel that way about me, too, once he woke up and I explained to him what was going on.  
  
For the first time in weeks, I felt a stirring in my chest – hope. Maybe he could help me, maybe this was a sign of it.  
  
Now, if I could only figure out how to convince him I was real…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if this is too repetitive!! I thought it would be good to get Mingyus side of the story as well to explain stuff a bit, but i've been wrong before haha


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo is still being annoying and refusing to believe that Mingyu is real.

_ Wonwoo _

I awoke the next morning – well, to be honest, the next  _afternoon_  – to the sound of a chainsaw hacking through my mattress. Irritated, I squirmed around on the bed until I was facing the source of that aggravating noise. I blearily opened my eyes, looking directly into the furry face of my cat, whose purr was practically shaking the bed. Chester is, seriously, the weirdest pet I’ve ever had. He’ll just stare and stare at you for hours without even moving. I don’t think there’s a lot going on in that feline brain of his, to be honest. But hey, he’s cute and furry. Plus, cats are known to reduce stress in people… and God knows I needed less of  _that_.

“Hey, kitty,” I cooed at him, rubbing behind his ears. He closed his eyes, ecstatic, and rubbed his face against my hand. It had been awhile since I’d let him sleep in my bed – he had an annoying tendency to lay on my face as I slept (despite the fact that there was plenty of extra room), and so to keep from suffocating, I usually closed my door to keep him out.  
  
I slowly sat up, confused. Wait a minute. I looked at my door, which was wide open.  _Didn’t I close it last night?_  I wondered. I ran my fingers through my messy, greasy hair, struggling to remember. 

 _Oh, wait… mouldy cookies… ugh_. Right. Junhui had practically thrown me into bed, which was why I didn’t recall closing the door. Had he left it open? I couldn’t remember, but dismissed the thought. It had been a weird night, to say the least… crazy dreams about talking cats and… Kim Mingyu. God, that was embarrassing. Though I felt incredibly foolish for doing so, I suspiciously looked over at my desk chair, just to make sure… nope, no strange boy sitting there this morning. I sighed with relief.

I yawned loudly, stretching out across my bed. Thankfully, most of the swimmy sickness from the previous night had dissipated… I still had a small headache, but that was completely tolerable compared to what I’d felt before falling asleep.   
  
“Ugh,” I groaned, staring at the ceiling. I didn’t even want to get out of bed. What was the point, really? I had nothing to do… no plans… no girlfriend… most of my friends had jobs that kept them busy, including Junhui…  _I’m such a loser,_ I thought, sighing.  _Maybe I should work on the painting I abandoned last month… get it finished. Or start something new…_  Yeah, maybe I would do that. Junhui always got on my case when I left things unfinished. It would be something to do, anyway. Something to fill up the dullness in my life.

I rolled over on my side, curling into a little ball, thinking about how Junhui was basically my Huing... What was I going to do when he graduated? Or when he finally popped the question to Yeondoo? It was only a matter of time… and then what would I do, where would I go? He’d always been there 24-7 for me, ever since my father had died. I’d lived with him, cried with him, laughed with him… he’d taken so much of my shit over the years, my mini-tantrums, my haplessness… He was so patient. I’d never met anyone else who understood me quite the way he did. Or who took such good care of me… I sighed again.

After much deliberation, I finally got out of bed, realising that my throat was parched and I desperately needed something to drink. I was in the bathroom, brushing my teeth and getting dressed, when I heard the familiar sound of an engine approaching, just outside the window. Jun! Thank God. I quickly spat out the toothpaste and rinsed my mouth clear before hobbling down the stairs. He was in the kitchen; I could hear him rustling around.

“Junhui,” I whined loudly as I stalked down the hall. “Have you eaten lunch yet?”  
  
“Are you just now getting out of bed?” I heard him ask in disbelief as I rounded the corner. I went into the kitchen, slinking into a chair at the kitchen table. “Wonwoo, it’s almost two o’clock.”

“Well, considering the circumstances, I think I deserved those fourteen hours of sleep.” I curled up in the chair, bringing my knees to my chest.  It always surprised Jun how small I could make myself seem.  
  
“Ah, true… so, are you feeling better? Did you sleep well?”  
  
“Yeah, I guess… had some strange dreams, though…”  
  
“Really? What about?”  
  
I hesitated.  _Well, Junhui, first I was stuck in a hedge maze, chasing some random guy, when I stopped to chat with a Cheshire Cat… but he annoyed me, so suddenly I found myself back in bed, and for some reason a guy named Kim Mingyu was in my room making idle conversation. Weird, huh?_

“I don’t really remember,” I lied. “I was lost for part of it, and then someone was in my room talking to me…” I didn’t really want to tell him that I dreamt of a boy in my room, that would be embarrassing. I figured I’d never hear the end it. Instead, I opted to switch the subject onto a much more important matter. I leaned forward, giving him a pitiful, begging look. “So… lunch?”

He sighed. “Wonwoo-ah, I would, but I’ve got to get going. I only stopped by to change clothes and pick up my backpack. I’ve got to run to a study session for statistics, we’ve got a big test tomorrow…” he grumbled. “If you ever have a professor try to tell you that summer school is easier than a regular semester, slap him. Or her.”  
  
“Oh,” I said, dejected. So I would be alone all day… not that  _that_  was unusual, but I’d really hoped to have someone to talk to… to distract me from my current loserdom. “When will you be back?”

“Before supper, at least. I hope.” I watched as he picked up his backpack from its resting place by the door and propped it up on the table. He fished around in it, pulling out a notebook and tossing it down.  
  
“Okay. Well, I’ll be here… as always,” I said, getting up. Truthfully, though I had hoped to get him to fix me something, I really didn’t really feel like eating just yet. So I wandered into the living room, intending to sit down and relax for a few. Read the paper, watch some pointless television, stare at the ceiling. My usual daily routine. I trudged into the room. And promptly screamed.

“Ah, you’re awake, I see,  _finally_ ,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “And now that you are, I’d truly  _love_  it if you’d actually listen to what I have to say.”  
  
_What the fuck?!?!_ My only reply was another scream. Oh, God, oh, God… the boy, the one from my dream who’d claimed to be 'Kim Mingyu', was sitting on my couch, the day’s newspaper spread across his lap. He was looking up at me calmly, dark eyes scrutinising my appearance. Appearing entirely too nonchalant for someone who’d possibly broken into my house and spied on me while I slept… he raised an eyebrow, waiting for a reply.

Was I still dreaming? No, no, no… that wasn’t possible, was it? I swayed back and forth on my feet, suddenly feeling nauseous. I blinked hard and grabbed the back edge of the chair closest to me, staring at him and whimpering. I felt another scream coming on…  
  
“Wonwoo?” I was vaguely aware of Junhui calling for me, concern in his voice. I answered with a sort of mangled cry.  
  
He winced. “And will you please stop yelling like that? Come on, man up.” he commented, looking irritated as he tossed the paper to the side. “Yelling won't help your case any.”  
  
My case? What the fuck was he talking about? I fiercely slapped my wrist, grunting in irritation when it did indeed hurt. Well, I was definitely awake… so, apparently, either he really   _was_   real, or I was now suffering from delusions and hallucinations. Wonderful.

“Wonwoo?” Junhui appeared in the living room, coming up and lightly touching my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”  
  
I looked to the boy. He was shaking his head. “Don’t do it,” he said. “He’ll think you’ve lost your mind.”  
  
“I--” I started, unsure what to say. Jun was simply looking at me; he hadn’t even noticed our new visitor. I swallowed, unsure of what to say… I decided on a very vague declaration. “Look!” I suddenly shouted, pointing at the boy.   
  
His brow furrowed as his eyes followed my fluttering hand. “What?” he asked.  
  
He sighed loudly and spoke again. “I told you last night, but obviously you weren’t listening... give it up. He can’t see me…”

I blinked. Right… he  _had_  said that last night… of course, I’d just thought it was all part of a fucked-up dream… his words, full of wonder and hope, ran briefly through my head:  _‘You can see me, right? You can see what I look like?’_ But that wasn’t possible, was it? For him to be…  _invisible_  to Jun?   
  
I was beginning to suspect that his sudden appearance was falling into the ‘delusions’ category. That was the only thing that made sense, right? I swallowed. What to do, what to do… how could I explain my screaming fit in a way that would convince Jun that I didn’t need to be shipped off to the hospital? 

“I saw a spider!” I screeched suddenly. “Oh my God, it was fucking  _huge_ , Junhui… it was right there, on the couch!”  
  
His eyes widened – bingo. Junhui   _hated_  spiders, more than he'd like to admit… “WHERE?” he screamed. I pointed to the couch, where the boy was sitting, and he shrank back. “Did you get it?”  
  
“No… I don’t know where it went… maybe it crawled under a cushion, or something…”  
  
“WONWOO!” he cried out. “Why did you tell me that? Find it! Kill it!” Junhui grabbed a magazine off the table and flung it to the spot I was pointing at, apparently thinking he was going to 'scare' this spider out of its hiding place or something. It fluttered through the air, striking the boy in the head before falling on the couch. His eyes widened with irritation, and I found myself strangling back a laugh, despite the bizarreness of the situation.

“Sorry,” I said meekly once I'd regained my composure. "I'll find it..."  
  
He shivered. “Gross… I’m never sitting on that lounge again…” He turned around, preparing to leave. “Well, I hate to leave you here with that  _thing_ , but I’ve got to go… I’m late as it is. I think you’re rubbing off on me.”  
  
“Sorry about that, too,” I called after him as he ran to go upstairs and change. I watched him leave, feeling suddenly lost and vulnerable as he disappeared from the room. I turned back to my visitor, frantically trying to figure out what to do...   
  
“Are you ready to listen now?” he demanded.

I slowly shook my head. Listen? To a hallucination? Wasn’t that what serial killers always did just before going off and murdering people? Oh, God, was I becoming a psycho? Was I going to be locked away forever in a mental institute with a straitjacket wrapped around my body? Shit… and I was still a virgin… I would have at least liked to have experienced some form of sex before being forced into a life of locked-up, padded-wall celibacy…  
  
He sighed loudly, burying his face in his hands. “Listen,” he said. He sounded exhausted… “I am fully aware of how confused you are, and rest assured that I am, too. You’re not going crazy. You’re not losing your mind. I’m real… I’m really here. And you, for whatever reason, are the only one who can communicate with me…”  
  
This was too much for me to handle right now.  _Way_  too much. I rubbed my head, closing my eyes for a moment. Why was my life such a mess? Did shit like this happen to  _other_  people?   
  
Somehow, I sincerely doubted it.  
  
Wordlessly, I dashed from the room, heading back upstairs. My bed suddenly seemed so appealing…   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is for my friend Emma ((cybercnu)) who inspired me to write this story. This is honestly gonna be such a long story I'm so sorry...


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay... Maybe Mingyu WAS real...

_ Mingyu _

At around one o’clock, I actually started to get worried.  
  
How in the world could he still be asleep? Jesus, even  _Seungcheol_  couldn’t sleep that long in one sitting. It was practically a hibernation… I’d spent my morning skimming the magazines and newspapers, watching television, and running upstairs to check on him periodically. And every time, he was still in bed, swaddled in the thick blue doona. I was getting tired of waiting.  
  
I wandered around the room, studying the chic décor. This certainly didn’t look like a house where two college-age people would live… the furniture was beautiful, expensive-looking and actually  _matched_ , for one. The kitchen had been done up in a bright, cheery yellow and blue scheme, complete with delicate lace curtains. Not to mention all the framed paintings on the wall. There were tons of them, and they were all gorgeous… I walked up to one, peering closely at the scribbled name in the corner. JW. Hmmm… the initials matched… had  _he_ painted them all? I was impressed…

I went back to the lounge, picking up one of the newspapers and studying it. _Changwon_ _Herald-Leader. June 25_. When I’d first seen the paper, I’d thought surely it was a mistake. Changwon? That's not Seoul? How the fuck did I get here? I threw the paper down and leant forward, resting my elbows on my knees. _What the hell is going on?_ I rubbed my temples, hoping it would help me figure everything out. It didn't help.

The door to the garage opened, startling me. I got up off the lounge, sneaking into the kitchen to check. The handsome boy had returned. I watched as he rummaged around in the fridge, pulling out one of the unfamiliar bottles. Hmmm. Was it beer? This early in the day? Well, to each their own, I guess… shrugging, I went back to the living room and sat back down on the lounge. I was reading the sports section when the silence was interrupted.  
  
“Junhui! Have you eaten lunch yet?” Junhui? Of course… must be the handsome boy. Well, at least he was awake, finally… I folded my arms, debating… it would probably be best to wait until the newly named, ‘Junhui’, left. It would just be easier on Wonwoo that way, I decided. 

I was trying to decide where a good place to hide out might be when Wonwoo effectively ruined my plan. He strolled into the living room before I’d had a chance to move… and, upon seeing me, screamed, an honest-to-God terrified shriek.  
  
Well, there went my first plan, out the window. “Ah, you’re awake, I see,  _finally_ ,” I said. “And now that you are, I’d truly  _love_  it if you’d actually listen to what I have to say.”  
  
No answer… well, unless you counted the second scream. I sighed with exasperation. “And will you please stop yelling like that? Come on, man up. ?” I asked. “Yelling won't help your case any…” Certainly not when Junhui entered the room, looking worried. Great. As he touched Wonwoo’s arm, asking him what was wrong, I met his gaze. “Don’t do it,” I said. “He’ll think you’ve lost your mind.”

  
He looked like a wild animal about to be caught by poachers. “I…” he said, faltering. “Look!” His sudden shout startled me.  
  
Junhui looked at me, where Wonwoo was pointing. “What?”   
  
I sighed again. “I told you last night, but obviously you weren’t listening... give it up. He can’t see what you see…”  
  
I watched him absorb this information. His roommate was still trying to figure out what the hell he was supposed to be looking at. Finally, Wonwoo spoke. “I saw a spider! Oh my God, it was fucking  _huge_ , Junhui… it was right there, on the couch!” To my amazement, it seemed to do the trick.  
  
“WHERE? Did you get it?!”  
  
I watched Junhui cower behind Wonwoo, squeeling over the ‘spider’ for a minute,. I rolled my eyes and chuckled. Now _this_ was something I hadn't seen before…   


I  heard pages fluttering, and I snapped back to attention. "Ugh!" I grunted slightly as _a magazine_  struck me in the face. What the hell? The roommate had flung it in my direction, though I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. I glared at him, and then noticed Wonwoo smothering back a laugh. Well, I was glad  _he_ was getting a grand kick out of this whole thing. The roommate finally left, looking completely disgusted, and Wonwoo turned back to me, a sober, blank expression on his face.  
  
 “Are you ready to listen now?” I asked. He shook his head. I sighed again, covering my face. Why was he being so difficult? “Listen… I am fully aware of how confused you are, and rest assured that I am, too. You’re not going crazy. You’re not losing your mind. I’m real… I’m really here. And you, for whatever reason, are the only one who can communicate with me…” There. A perfectly polite, non-threatening statement… which caused him to promptly dash from the room. I heard the thumping of his feet going back up the steps, and I forcibly kept myself from kicking the coffee table.

Damn, this was going to take more work than I thought… I’d waited nearly eight hours for him to wake up for  _that_? A semi-argument (though I wasn’t sure if it was an argument if the other person completely refused to speak)? To be completely dismissed, yet again?   
  
I stood up, calmly dusting myself off, and strolled through the hallway after him. Enough of this shit. He could run and hide from me all he wanted, but I wasn’t giving up. We were going to figure out what the hell was happening  _together_. I marched through the foyer, taking the steps two at a time until I was standing in front of his door. His roommate had gone into his own room; I could hear him humming and rustling around. I grabbed the doorknob and turned it, letting myself inside. It loudly clicked shut behind me.  
  
I didn’t see him at first, which confused me. That is, until I noticed a large, person-shaped lump on the bed… fuck! He’d gone back to   _bed_? Hadn’t he gotten enough rest?! Or was he just being childish, hiding under the covers? I sighed loudly and walked over to his desk chair, sitting down. I crossed my arms and waited.   


“I can sit here all day if you like,” I said. “Because, quite honestly, there’s not much else I can do. So if this is a test of patience, I assure you, you’ll lose.”  
  
“Leave me the fuck alone.” His words were muffled by his thick doona, but I understood them perfectly well.  
  
“Well, aren’t we sweet,” I said sarcastically. “You think I enjoy this? That I get my kicks from breaking into strange guys’ houses and scaring them in the middle of the night?”  
  
“How the fuck am I supposed to know? Some people have weird kinks…”  
  
“Will you please sit up and speak to me like a normal person?” I demanded. I was tired of talking to a blue-colored lump.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Why?”    


There was a soft knocking at the door, and so I stopped speaking momentarily. The door creaked open, and a moment later, the roommate, ‘Junhui’, poked his head in.  
  
“Wonwoo-ah?” he asked worriedly. “What are you doing? Were you talking to someone?”  
  
Wonwoo threw the doona down from over his face and sat halfway up. “Yeah, I’m chatting with Kim Mingyu,” he said, sarcasm dripping in his tone. “He’s being a real asshole.”  
  
I scowled. “There is  _no_  need for that. I haven’t done a thing to you…”  
  
Junhui sighed, presumably at his roommate’s weirdness. “Don’t be hateful, I was just asking. Kim Mingyu, huh? You mean the pretty boy from that new boy group? You could do better than that.” Personally, I was insulted. What kind of comment was  _that_? At least he knew who I was though... “I’m leaving now… are you sure you’re going to be okay? Are you still feeling sick?”  
  
“I’m fine.”  
  
“Then why are you in bed again?”  
  
“Nothing else to do…”

Junhui rolled his eyes. “Okay, whatever. I’ll be back later. Wait on me before you eat tonight.” Wonwoo nodded slowly in agreement. “See you later.”  
  
“Bye,” he said softly as the door closed again. Then, ignoring me yet  _again_ , he fell back against the bed and closed his eyes.  
  
“Sit up,” I demanded. “And listen.”  
  
To my surprise, he finally complied, raising up to face me and scooting to the edge of the bed. He crossed his legs awkwardly and rested his elbows on them. “Okay, but make it quick,” he said. “Because I really don’t have all day to sit around and listen to my delusions.”  
  
“How many times do I have to tell you… I am  _not_  a delusion. I am  _really_  here.”  
  
“Whatever,” he said, yawning. He slowly got up off the bed, walking over to his desk and fishing around with a stack of mail on the top. “God, I’ve really cracked up this time… Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any worse… strange men claiming to be Kim Mingyu – apparently a member of another shitty pop group, appearing in my bedroom…”   
  
“I  _am_   Mingyu! And I’m  _real_!” I was a little insulted but his comment, why was he such an asshole.

  
“Oh?” he asked, turning to appraise me and raising a strong eyebrow. “Prove it.”  
  
I wasn’t sure which one he wanted me to prove – the ‘I  _am_  Mingyu’ or the ‘I’m real’ claim… but as I sat up, practically seething, I definitely knew which one I was going to show him. He wanted proof, he’d get his fucking proof. I leaped up, stalked over to him and grabbed his arm. Without really thinking, I pulled him towards me and kissed him hard on the mouth – nothing romantic about it, just a clash of lips and teeth, physical evidence that I was  _very_  much here and not simply a hallucination on his part.  
  
_I touched h_ _im_ _… I physically touched h_ _im_ _… I felt h_ _is_ _skin…_  there was a strange part of me that felt deliriously happy at that revelation. He, however, didn’t seem to share the sentiment. He grunted loudly, slapping roughly at my arms and attempting to push me away with such force that it sent him reeling backwards. He tripped over a pile of clothes in the floor and crashed against the wall, his arms flailing out and knocking over a stack of books from his desk. They fell to the floor with a clatter, pages fluttering. He looked up at me from the floor, wide-eyed and a little dazed. Meanwhile, I was attempting to soothe my now-sore arms… and my slightly bruised ego.  
  
“Fuck! What was that for?” I shouted, rubbing the reddened skin he’d smacked. He was the one who wanted me to prove it..

  
He glared up at me. “Don’t you get any funny ideas, because that is NOT how this is gonna work… I'm not that way inclined...”

I snorted aloud, running one hand through my mussed hair. “Ha, don’t flatter yourself...”

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted saying them. Taking in his bedraggled appearance – the messy, black waves, the hilariously skinny white legs, the bloodshot brown eyes, I realised, just a second too late, that this was a guy who was probably rather sensitive about his looks. My suspicions were confirmed when his expression dropped and he blushed a deep red. I stood there silently, feeling like a complete dick. I wasn’t even sure why I’d said it… was I really that arrogant? Besides, it wasn’t like he was ugly, or anything… sort of cute, maybe, but just a little on the plain side…

“Hey... listen,” I said softly. “I didn’t mean that. No, wait. I… I  _did_  mean that part about not, um, sexually assaulting you… but it’s not because you’re like, ugly, or anything… I mean, you’re actually a very handsome guy, and… uh, you know--”  
  
“Shut the fuck up,” he said, sniffling. “Shut up before you dig yourself in any deeper,  _Mingyu_.” The sarcastic emphasis on my name wasn’t lost on me. “It figures. I mean, obviously if the local bag girl thinks I’m not worthy of her attention, then certainly  _famous_   Kim Mingyu wouldn’t.”  
  
Oh, shit. He was broken-hearted over some girl. And, having lived with overdramatic guys for a while now, I knew that girl's were very capable of crushing hearts, and when that happened you had to treat things delicately. Except I was never one to handle delicate situations about girls well. That was Seungcheol’s forte…  _God, I wish he was here. He would know just what to say…_  I took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, Wonwoo-ah,” I said gently, squatting down until I was close to the floor with him. “Forgive me?”  
  
His head jerked up and his eyes widened. He cocked his head towards me, sitting up a little straighter. “How old are you exactly?”  
  
Ah I knew this would come soon. I smiled softly at him. “Nineteen.”

“Then you can't call me that - it's Wonwoo-sshi or Hyung from now on.” He looked smug, like he had just beat me at a difficult game. I looked to the ground and smiled, I would let him have this one.

“Okay _Hyung,_ but I need to ask, do you believe me?”

  
“Believe what?” he asked nervously. “I believe that I’m going out of my fucking mind…”  
  
I sighed. “No. That I’m real. That you’re not imagining things. That I’m not here to hurt you in any way… And that I am Kim Mingyu…”  
  
“No.”  
  
I resisted the urge to reach out and shake him. “Right,” I said slowly. “What do you mean, ‘no’? No to what?”  
  
“ _No_  to it all… this makes no sense… and all I want to do is  _sleep_  and  _recover_  and _forget_  about it all, but you won’t let me…”  
  
“I think you’ve slept enough,” I said sarcastically. “As a matter of fact, for awhile there, I thought maybe you’d died or gone into a coma, or something.” I stood up, extending my hand to him. “Come on. I’m going to prove this all to you. First things first. I have to show you something.”

He eyed my hand as if it were a poisonous snake. “What?” he asked suspiciously.  
  
I rolled my eyes and bent down, grabbing his arm. I lifted him to his feet, despite his protests. “Something that scares me as much as it’s going to scare you.”

 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know it's repetitive... If it's too much please let me know and I'll do things another way!! Chapters might not be posted as frequently as before but I'll work on it.. haha.. Thank you for reading!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Mingyu a ghost?

_ Wonwoo _

 

I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed. How could he not see him? He was sitting right there in front of me! There was something very wrong with this picture.  
  
“Mingyu, I-- this is messed up. Is this some sort of elaborate joke you two have planned, or am I just going crazy, or what?”  
  
He pulled me up by my arm and for a fleeting moment I thought he might kiss me again. Yeah, I sorta overreacted last time, I suppose. It wasn’t like I even disliked it...but it had caught me completely off guard… But I'm not gay, so that kinda kicked in.   
  
But he didn’t kiss me, simply led me over to the mirror.  
  
“Look at us. Look in the mirror. What do you see?”  
  
I turned my eyes to meet the glass and they promptly fell out of their sockets. Well, not really, but they might as well have. He wasn’t there. I mean, he  _was,_ because he was standing beside me and I could feel his hand digging into my arm, but he wasn’t reflected in the mirror. It was like a scene in one of those weird scary movies...this was getting creepier by the moment. I jerked my arm from his hand and backed slowly away from him, towards my dresser.

 

“Oh my God...” I gasped. He acknowledged my surprise.  
  
“I know, I know. It scared the shit out of me the first time-- what are you doing?”  
  
“Me? Oh, nothing, really, nothing at all.” I had backed up all the way to the dresser, and was frantically reaching into my top dresser drawer, digging around.  _Come on, I know you’re in here somewhere._  
  
He started walking towards me. “You think I’m going to believe that?”  
  
Suddenly my hand clasped around the object I had been looking for and I held it up in front of me, like a shield. It was a cross, a silver one, on a matching silver chain. “Stay away from me!”  
  
He stopped in his tracks. “What the hell?”  
  
“It makes sense-- the mirror, your teeth, Junhui’s inability to see you... you‘re a vampire. Stay away from me, you blood-sucking fiend.”  
  
His eyes rolled skyward and he raised his hands in a  _Why me?_ position. “You know that thing you said earlier about going crazy? I think you were right on the mark. And what is wrong with my teeth?!!?!”  
  
I pointed my cross at him. “Well if you’re not, then how else do you explain those events?”  
  
“I don’t know! But I’m not a fucking vampire! First off, I can’t believe you think there are such things as vampires. Also, there’s this--” he reached down the collar of his shirt and pulled out a necklace with a cross on it similar to mine. “Thirdly, if I was a quote, ‘blood-sucking fiend’, I would be sleeping right now, since it’s daylight, and lastly, WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY TEETH?!”  
  
I felt my face heat up as I dropped the necklace back into the drawer. “Nothing, really,” I coughed, trying to cover up my laughter.  
“It’s just that they’re... well, they’re a little pointy.”  
  
“Everyone’s teeth are pointy! How else do you think people chew? Damn!”  
  
“Yeah, I guess....” The craziness of the situation finally got to me. I felt the groan abruptly rise up into my throat and  I didn’t bother holding it back. I bent over at the waist, covering up my reddened face in my oversized jumper. When I straightened back up, with very hot cheeks, Mingyu was standing in the same spot, with his arms crossed.  
  
“Are you done now?”  
  
I rubbed my eyes with my fists, sighing. “Yeah, I’m OK now.”  
  
I walked back over and sat on the bed. He followed. Regaining my composure, I faced him and began to speak.  
  
“OK.... I’ll be serious now. I’m ready to listen. What’s going on?”  
  
Mingyu cocked his head and smiled sadly at me.  
  
“I don't know what's going on,” he said softly. “But I’ll try to explain.”  
  
I nodded slowly in assent. “Go on.”

 

He began. “OK. Before I ended up here, I was back home trying to figure this out. You see, I woke up one morning, and my members couldn’t see me, just like your friend Junhui couldn’t see me. I mean, I would be right there in front of their faces, yelling, jumping around, but it was as if I wasn’t even there. And they would talk about me in the third person....Like, one time Joshua Hyung and Seokmin were talking, and Seokmin said ‘I miss Mingyu, I wish he was still here.’ And Seungcheol Hyung would ask everyone if they wanted to go visit me! But I would be right there the whole time.”  
  
I gazed at him, my mind trying to process what he’d just told me. Was he making this up? I didn’t think so. He was way too serious. Plus, I had seen the proof of his story when Junhui was here.  
  
“OK.... well... it sounds like you’re...well, like you’re a ghost, Mingyu,” I whispered. “I mean, ‘I wish he was still here’ and ‘We should go visit him’? That’s spooky. Do you remember anything before you woke up that morning?”

 

He paled at my remarks. “I’ve thought of that.... and I’m not sure whether that’s the case or not. I can remember everything about my life, though. But the last thing I remember is going rock climbing with my Soonyoung Hyung and Seungcheol Hyung. I don’t remember getting home afterward, or getting in bed, nothing after that.”  
  
“Wow,” I said softly. “Maybe something happened there.” He nodded grimly.  
  
“Do you remember hearing anything in the news about me? On TV or anything?”  
  
I shook my head regretfully. “Sorry Mingyu, but I never watch that sort of TV...it sucks a little. And as for the news thing... No, I don’t remember, but that doesn’t mean there never was anything. I’ll be honest, as you’ve probably noticed, you all aren’t exactly my favourite group, so if I  _had_ heard something about you, I would have more than likely not paid attention and/or remembered.”

 

He smiled at me, showing his straight white (pointy) teeth.  _He has a really nice smile,_  I thought. I snapped back to attention when he began talking again.  
  
“Now, let’s go over the facts. I’m here, and you are the only one who can hear and see me. Not Junhui, not even my friends back home. I think I know why you are the one that can see me....I remember lying in my bed one night, scared and confused because it was as if I didn’t even exist anymore. I prayed that night, before I fell asleep,” he paused for breath, “I prayed that I would find someone,  _someone_ that could see me, that could help me. When I woke up, which was apparently late last night, I was downstairs, lying on your lounge. I saw your roommate first-- and tried to communicate with him, to no avail. So then I went to your room to wait for you to wake up.”

 

“…You were probably waiting a while weren't you?”

 

“Yes, I was.”

 

We grinned at each other goofily. I felt a little better, actually. But I thought back to what he had said previously. So he’d just woken up here? That didn’t make sense. I mean, how the hell did he get to Gyeongsangnam-do, to our town,  _in our house?_  And how did he get like this, how did he suddenly become invisible to everyone?  There were so many unanswered questions. I was definitely not used to dealing with supernatural things.  
  
“So,” I interrupted our silence. “Where do we go from here?”

 

******

 

_ Mingyu _

 

I pondered his question. It was one that I really had no answer for. After I had figured out who he was, I suppose I automatically assumed that he would know what to do, although now that I really thought about it, that didn’t make any sense at all. Why would he know what to do? After all, I was the one interrupting his normal everyday life. I felt like I had been catapulted into another world, and in a way, I had. A world where maybe I didn’t even exist anymore, at least, not in the flesh.  


I shuddered at the latter thought. It was too scary to even think about. I forcibly pushed it out of my mind.  
  
“I don’t know what to do,” I said softly, “or where to go from here, so to speak.”  
  
Wonwoo nodded silently at me and nibbled on the fingernail of his index finger. The rest of his nails were painfully short and brittle, and I deduced that he probably bit them a lot while he was thinking. He was also fiddling with the hem of his jumper, scrunching and unscrunching it with his hand. Suddenly he clapped his hands and stood up.  
  
“I have an idea,” he proclaimed.

 

Hope fluttered lightly in my chest. “What?”  
  
“Let’s go get something to eat.”

 

“Eat?”  
  
“Yes, eat. It’s a proven fact that you don’t think nearly as well on an empty stomach, and I’m fucking starving. I’m sure you are too, so let’s go downstairs and fix something. After all,” he smiled sarcastically, “we just went to the grocery last night.”  
  
I had to admit, food sounded good at this point.  _Do ghosts eat?_ I wondered tersely, and then dismissed the question. I didn’t want, or need, to know the answer. He beckoned me, and I followed him slowly out the door and down the stairs to the kitchen.  
  
Along the way, I paid careful attention to the house itself. This was the first I’d seen of it in the daytime. Paintings in gilded frames covered the walls, some of them recognisable, but others I’d never seen before. Also, there were pictures everywhere. Most of them were in frames on various pieces of furniture. I noticed that most the furniture appeared to be cherry. The couches downstairs in his living room were leather. It was very classy and sophisticated. And expensive. One painting in particular caught my attention. I studied it for a second, deciding the scene looked vaguely familiar, and then realised that it was the beautiful landscape that I had gazed at the night before in his bedroom.

 

Hey,” I called out to him. “This is your backyard!”  
  
He turned around, glanced at the painting, and nodded. “Yep.”  
  
“Who painted it? It’s wonderful.”  
  
“I did.”  
  
I looked over at him, disbelieving. “You’re shitting me.”  
  
He raised his eyebrows and tapped the corner of the painting lightly with his index finger. “Am I?”  
  
I scrutinised the corner of the painting he had pointed at. Sure enough, written in tiny black letters, was the name Jeon Wonwoo _._  Wow. I was impressed.  
  
“Well, you did a great job,” I nodded towards the other paintings. “Are any of these others yours?”  
  
He hesitated. “Yeah, a few… there’s a few upstairs in the study, too.”  
  
I sensed that he didn’t feel like discussing his artwork, so I shut my mouth and followed him into the kitchen. He headed for the fridge and stuck his head in.   
  
“Alright, what are you in the mood for? Pizza? Freshly made ramen?”  
  
I laughed. “It’s 3 in the afternoon!”  
  
He removed his head and grinned. “And your point is what, exactly?”  
  
I shrugged. “Nothing, it’s just an odd time for pizza, that's all.”  
  
“Well, in this house, we eat pizza anytime we damn well please. But alright, I’ll fix something else. What about soup, or a cheese toastie?”  
  
“Cheese toastoe?”  
  
“What’s wrong with a cheese toastie? I eat them all the time!”  
  
He faced me, an accusatory look on his face, and his hands on his hips. It dawned on me that for all his artistic talents, Wonwoo was probably no Master Chef.  
  
“A cheese toastie it is, then…. you sure you don’t want me to cook?”  
  
He waved me away. “Go sit down, it’ll be ready in a few minutes.”  
  
Twenty minutes later we were both sitting in the living room, on the plush leather couches, eating our cheese toasties. He had fixed both of us three sandwiches, and had also brought out a large bag of chips and an entire two-litre of Coke. I hadn't been allowed to eat this much in _years_. And apparently Wonwoo ate like a horse.

 

It was kind of amusing, actually. I felt like I should be dining on filet mignon in this room, not wheat bread and processed cheese. It didn’t really fit with the scheme of things in this house. But then again, neither did Wonwoo. I chewed my sandwich thoughtfully and studied him. His hair was still an unruly mess; he hadn’t bothered cleaning up before coming downstairs. He was clad in orange silk boxer shorts that only accentuated the comic skinniness of his legs. A loose purple tank top with a white 311 logo on it adorned his large frame. It looked as if it had seen better days. He sat with his legs crossed and partially tucked underneath him. I had to smile. He was so childlike, especially in the context of the home he was occupying. I thought of his room, covered in posters and pictures of rock bands. It suited his personality well, I thought. The carefree, I-don’t-give-a-damn kind of personality.  
  
“So,” I started, being careful not to accidentally wipe my greasy fingers on the couch, “is this your house, or are you renting it, or what?”  
  
He glanced at me and smiled broadly. “It doesn’t exactly match us, does it?”  
  
I laughed. “Well, I don’t know about your roommate, but I have to say, it doesn’t seem to be  _you._ ”  
  
He took another bite of sandwich and nodded, quickly chewing and swallowing before he replied. “Yeah, I know. The answer to your question is both, I guess. You see, this house belonged to my father also. He rented it out to some people when we lived somewhere else years ago. Then, he died, and I was left with the house, except I was only 13 at the time, so obviously I didn’t get to ‘keep’ it. My uncle got it temporarily, but it’s supposed to be turned over to me when I’m 21. Right now, my uncle pays most of the bills here for us. Water, electricity, all the necessities. We pay for extra stuff like pay TV and internet. So…. this house  _will_ be mine. It’s kinda complicated.”

 

He paused to finish off his sandwich, then continued. “And to comment on what you said, no, it doesn’t match us. My dad furnished this house, that’s why everything is all fancy. I mean, it’s nice and all, but not what I would choose. But I don’t want to change anything, you know, because he did it, and I like to keep it this way, for him, I guess.”   
  
“Well, that makes perfect sense to me,” I said. His father must have had a lot of money.   
  
I took in what he said. He had only been 13 when his father died... sad. So that meant he was 20 now? I chuckled to myself. I could probably be mistaken as his Hyung.

  
“So.... are you going to university, or working, or what?”  
  
“I’m in uni, double major, art and chemistry.”  
  
“Double major? Wow. Why?”

 

He scratched his knee absent-mindedly. “Because, to quote my high school career advisor, ‘Painting pretty pictures won’t pay the bills, Wonwoo. Why don‘t you do something  _important_ with your life?’ So, art fulfils my soul..... but chemistry will pay the bills, so to speak.”  
  
I laughed out loud. “Oh, chemistry makes sense, I almost forgot you were a nerd. Mr Academic Team, honour roll student.”  
  
He narrowed his eyes and threw a wadded-up napkin at my head. “In that case, you should be nice to me. Haven’t you ever seen  _Revenge of the Nerds_? It’s a prophecy, I tell you. Now, finish this fine meal I’ve prepared for you so I can get the dishwasher started.”    
  
As I gnawed on my remaining cheese toastie, he stood up and began collecting the rubbish. I handed him my empty plate and grinned.  
  
“Give my compliments to the chef,” I joked.

 

He merely rolled his eyes at me. “You’re so lame.” With that, he walked back into the kitchen.  
  
When he returned, he had two large pieces of chocolate cake. He handed me one of the paper plates, and collapsed on the lounge beside me. I looked at my cake suspiciously. I felt his eyes on me, and glanced up to meet them.  
  
“Junhui made the cake, not me,” he said pointedly. “It’s very good, he’s a great cook.”  
  
“Well, in that case...” I dug my fork in and began eating. He smacked my leg lightly. I felt sick from eating so much so suddenly, but it was too good to resist.  
  
Wonwoo turned the TV on and we ate our cake silently. He finished his quickly. Not only did he eat a lot, I decided, but he ate like it was going out of style. While I was still savouring my piece, he took the controller and flipped idly through the channels. He sighed heavily.  
  
“There’s nothing on. There never is on Sundays, until night time.  _The Simpsons_ comes on at 8. Oh, and  _The X-files_  is on tonight, I almost forgot,” he spoke quietly, and I couldn’t tell if his comments were meant for me or whether he was just thinking out loud. He kept flipping through. It was driving me crazy. Finally I reached over and grabbed the controller from his hand.  
  
“Let’s just put it on MTV, Hyung,” I said kindly. “Just in case.”  
  
“Alright, alright. If you want your brain to rot, I’m not one to stop you.”  
  
I changed the station. I really didn’t like MTV any more than he did, but I was hoping that maybe there might be something on about me.... after all, if something had happened to me while I was rock climbing, that really wasn’t too long ago. A week or two, maybe? My days were kind of running together now, without my normal schedule to keep it steady.  
  
“What day is it?” I asked suddenly.

 

“25th of June.” He didn’t even seem fazed by my question. He was staring at the screen disgustedly, his eyes never leaving it.  
  
I thought carefully. My friends and I had gone rock climbing on the 10th of June.  _About two weeks_ , I thought.  I settled myself deeper into the soft confines of the lounge and closed my eyes for a moment.  
  
“You know, I have a much better idea,” he announced. “Why are we sitting here waiting for the news to come to us, when we can go online and go to the news?”  
  
I opened my eyes and lazily rolled my head to face him. “Why didn’t I think of that?”  
  
“Because you’re a ghost. Things must come a lot slower, you can’t help it.”  
  
I laughed nervously, still worried that maybe I _was_ a ghost.  
  
“Come on, let’s go upstairs.”  
  
With that, we trounced up to the study to start our investigation.   
  


 

 

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be a loonnngggg story and I'm so sorry.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They find out what happened to Mingyu.

_ Wonwoo _

I ran back into my bathroom, which was quickly becoming my comfort zone. I’d told him I needed to shower, which was true, but it was mainly an excuse to escape from the room. I needed to be alone for a bit, to get a grip… to figure out a game plan… and to get away from that annoyingly perfect face… It was like he was holding up a neon sign the read _Wonwoo, you're ugly!_

I locked the door, grabbing a towel from the shelf and looking for a fresh bar of soap. God, what was happening? Just one thing after another…  I’d just witnessed the single most frightening thing I’d ever seen in my life… when I’d seen those joggers run right through him, for a moment, I’d honestly thought I would pass out. He was real… yet he wasn’t. I could see him, but he had no reflection. I could touch him, but apparently no one else could. And not only  _that_ , but he really _was_  famous. Once I’d seen a recent picture, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t recognised him in the first place. He was from that new surprisingly successful group. _Why did I know that?_ His hair was longer, true, and his features a little more refined, but he hadn’t changed that drastically.

The emotions spinning through my head were making me feel ill. Fear, for the eerie, supernatural things I’d just witnessed… guilt, for ignoring him for hours… attraction, which in itself was just as scary and disconcerting, also quite irritating considering the circumstances… but most of all, just confusion. A feeling of being lost; unsure of what to do. I didn’t like uncertainty. I always liked to have a plan, to be in control…

I sighed, turning on the water and running it extra-hot. Well, I’d whined about leading a boring, dull life, hadn’t I? And this was what I got… a full-fledge, creepy mystery, straight out of a Scooby-Doo episode or something. Once inside, I lathered up my hair, trying to concentrate, to think of reasonable explanations for his appearance. And trying  _not_  to think of how cute he’d been when he’d smiled, or how soft his hair had looked.  _Dammit_! Not only was it messed-up to be thinking about a ghostly figure in that way, but it was also embarrassing. He was a  _guy_! I wasn't like that, was I? The thought made anxiety run through my body, settling hotly in my throat. No, I couldn't be it was one of those weird one off things. I probably just wanted to look like him…

 _Concentrate, Wonwoo…_  I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair, closing my eyes. Well, he’d said something had happened, didn’t he? And naturally, I could only assume it has been something bad. An accident, maybe… Could he be a ghost? I’d always believed in ghosts and spirits, though I’d never had any experience with supernatural things… that explanation still didn’t make sense, though. Ghosts couldn’t touch people, could they? Didn’t they just talk and move shit around and try to scare people? I began to wish that I’d spent more time watching the Sci-Fi channel.

Well, he was probably right about searching the news archives. If something had happened to him, that was probably the easiest way to find out. Surely there would be newspapers, or fan websites, or hell, even MTV.com that could provide some sort of insight… that would be the first step. Figuring out the cause of this whole ordeal…  _then_ maybe we could think about how to solve it. Feeling a little more settled now that I had a set plan, I stepped out of the shower.

I stood in front of the steamy mirror, towelling my hair dry. After combing out my hair, I decided I looked stupid, ruffled it up, and slowly opened the door, making sure he hadn’t come to this part of the house. When I was sure the coast was clear, I dashed into my room.   
  
I hadn’t done laundry in weeks, so the stack of clean clothes in my drawers was severely limited. I grabbed the first shirt and pants I found and slid them on, not even paying attention to colour coordination. It wasn't that hard to coordinate anyway when every item of clothing I had was a shade of black. I debated on whether to dry my hair, but decided against it. It was thick, unruly, and took forever to dry. I’d already been gone for quite a while, anyway. He was probably getting antsy.

“Well, Mingyu,” I murmured as I slid a pair of house slippers on my feet. “Let’s see what we can find…”  
  
******  
  
When I re-entered the office, Mingyu was sitting in one of the tall-backed wooden chairs, a book spread across his lap. I smiled tentatively and walked closer.  
  
“What are you reading?” I asked.  
  
He looked up, looking a little frazzled and nervous. I watched as he closed the book and held it up for me to read. I clapped my hand over my mouth, unable to stop the laughter that followed. He looked suddenly embarrassed, and his face blushed a deep crimson red.  
  
“ _The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality_?” I asked. “Interesting. So how is it, Mingyu-ah? Have you learned the secret of the female orgasm yet? Or perhaps insights about mental and emotional attitudes toward sexual gratification?”

 

He scowled, obviously trying to play it off. “Well, women are always saying men don’t understand them… so, you know, I was just  _trying_  to make an effort here… Any way why do _you_ even own this book?”

  
“Mingyu, I _100%_ believe you, _don't worry_ ,” I said slowly, sarcastically. “Junhui took a class on human sexuality once, a long time ago. Anyway, what would your _girlfriend_ say if she saw you reading that book?”  
  
He actually snorted at that and shrugged, gently placing the book on a small side table next to the chair. “Ah, I don’t know. She’d probably want to test the theories out.”  
  
Oh. I don’t know why I was so shocked at his response – I mean, hell, he was incredibly good-looking, so of course he would have a girlfriend… But weren't idols banned from dating or something?! Oh, well.  _Why do I feel disappointed?_ _Why do I even care this much_ _…_  I forced a smile on my face. “Okay. Well… let’s see if we can figure out what’s going on here.” I walked back over to my computer and flipped up the lid. He followed, again sitting in the chair across from me.  


When I looked up from the screen, he was staring at me curiously. “Why did it take you  _45 minutes_  to dress like that?” he demanded.  
  
I looked down at my outfit, a plain black top with shaky white text slapped across the middle paired with grubby jeans – very classy. “Jealous of the shirt, are you?” I asked airily. “It’s a one-of-a-kind…” Meaning, it had belonged to Junhui, who worked as an assistant manager at a retail store when he’d first started university. I’d had the shirt made for him when he’d been promoted, because I personally thought it was hilarious and clever. But when it became obvious that he was never going to wear it, I’d simply taken it. Might as well get some use out of it, right?  
  
“I certainly hope it is,” he said. I glared at him. Little shit… “So… you look like you have an idea.”  
  
“Okay,” I said. “I’m going to look around for any news about you all online… see if something ‘happened’, as you suspected. Meanwhile… I want you to write down everything about your condition you can think of. Like… I don’t know… any other things that have struck you as… abnormal.”  
  
“My whole life is abnormal!”  
  
“Yeah yeah, you and the hundreds of other idols out there… I mean… are there any details you haven’t told me? Stuff you might have left out?”  
  
He chewed on his lip for a moment, and reluctantly nodded. I grabbed a notebook and pen from inside the desk and tossed it at him. “There. Write it down while I’m looking. That way we’re both doing something.” And maybe it would keep him from talking for a little while…  
  
He grumbled, but complied. Meanwhile, I wasn’t even sure where to start… I went back to Google, typed in his name, and looked at the long listing of fan sites. Well… I would start with those. Rather than digging through potential weeks and months of newspaper back issues, I figured the latest news on Mingyu would be on one of those. Sighing, I clicked on the first link. This was going to be a long process, I could tell…

*****  
  
Odd, very odd… I discovered, after a long trial-and-error of clicking and backing up, that many of the pages listed no longer worked. Or if they did, they appeared to have not been updated in a long time, most of them at least a year. I was a little confused. Were people that fickle? Had they all moved on to worship some other member?

  
I was looking around in the ‘interview’ section of one of the un-updated pages. Typical stuff… old transcripts from interviews… Nothing of use.

  
“Okay, I think I’m done,” Mingyu announced, tossing the pencil down. I ignored him, reading on and snickering. I felt him staring at me. “Well?”  
  
“I hate to break it to you – but I have nothing. _Nada.”_ Mingyu's face turned from one of confusion to one of annoyance  
  
“ _What?_ ” he barked. “Hyung, what are you doing? You’re not even looking in the right place!”  
  
Sighing, I pushed the computer aside. “I need a break from this. Let me see your list.”  
  
He sighed as he pushed the notebook across the desk. I picked it up, studying it. Most of the stuff he’d listed were things he’d told me at one point or another. He’d also written out, in great detail, an incident where he’d scared someone called Seungcheol by moving a glass across the counter… how everyone referred to him in third person… how his Seungcheol again looked gaunt and tired and got visibly upset whenever his name was mentioned… and how he’d worn the same clothes for weeks and hadn’t showered since he’d woken up.  
  
I looked up, staring at him. “No shower?” I asked. I wrinkled my nose. “That’s kind of gross. Do you… uh… want to go take one now?”  
  
He shook his head. “Do I  _look_  like a need a shower?” he asked. I slowly shook my head. It was true, he looked as perfect and pretty as he did in any of the photo shoots I’d seen online. “I’m not dirty… I don’t  _feel_  dirty. My hair hasn’t even gotten longer… I just figured it was just another freaky thing about me, to go along with all the other freaky things…”  


I nodded again, silently going over the facts. Invisible, untouchable, except to me, and of course, to inanimate objects… perfect and never-changing… unable to explain how he’d gotten here, although he’d claimed he’d prayed for help…  
  
“Keep looking,” he demanded. “Go to seventeen-17.com or something…”  
  
“We’ll go to mtv.com, as much as I despise that network,” I said dryly. I pulled the laptop closer and followed his orders. “Okay, headlines... news gallery.... name. K-I-M M-I-N-G-Y-U...ok, la di da......right, here we go, archives…”  
  
“Now was that so hard?”  
  
“Shut up, I’m reading…” I scanned down the long list of headlines. A lot of them were just about Seventeen, which was apparently his group. From the pictures I saw there certainly wasn't seventeen members… I scrolled all the way down the page, looking for the most recent headlines. The last one, updated not two weeks ago, instantly caught my eye. I stared at it, not believing what I was reading…  _Seventeen Member Kim Mingyu_ _Remains in Coma One Year After Accident_. What? Was that a mistake? I glanced over at him nervously before clicking on it. Mingyu had turned around and was staring at one of my paintings. 

 

“Hey, are these yours?” he asked, beckoning to the artwork on the walls.   
  
“Yeah,” I said distractedly. Now was  _not_  the time to play art critic… I quickly began reading, feeling sick to my stomach…  
  
“Wow, they’re really, really good… Is that what you do for a living?”  
  
“Thanks, no…” Oh, God. From what I could tell, the article was real… I mean, it couldn’t be a joke, not even MTV had that poor of taste. “Mingyu?” I asked softly. “What… what is today?”  
  
“25th of June, isn’t it? That’s what the newspaper said…”  
  
“And the year?”  
  
“What?” he asked, confused. He walked over to my side of the desk. “The year? What kind of question is that?”  
  
“Just answer it, please…”  
  
“1965,” he said, then grinned at his lame joke. When he saw the gravity of my expression, he sighed. “Fine. 2015, last time I checked…”  
  
I slowly shook my head. “No…” I whispered. “It’s not.” His face instantly froze, and I could see the fear in his eyes as he replied.   
  
“What are you talking about?”

 

“Read this,” I said softly, getting up out of the chair and beckoning for him to sit down. “It’s on MTV’s news page…”  
  
He slowly sat down and started reading. I stood just behind him, rereading the article over his shoulder.  
  
_June 10, 2016_  
  
Member of promising rookie group Kim Mingyu remains in the hospital one year after a near-fatal rock-climbing accident left him in a coma.  
  
_Kim_ _, now 20, was out rock-climbing with two Seventeen members at New Heights Gym last June when his harness came loose and he plunged nearly 25 feet to the ground. Kwon Soonyoung “Hoshi”, fellow member and friend, recalls the awful incident._  
  
_"The carabiner came undone,” Kwon said. “We tried to tell him to stay still, so that one of us could get up there and save him before it slipped off, but he was up so high he couldn’t understand what we were saying. Then the rope just slipped out of it and he fell.”_  
  
_kim_ _’s fall resulted in five broken ribs, a broken ulna, several severe cuts and scrapes, brain swelling, and loss of consciousness. Since the June 2015 accident, Kim has recovered from all the injuries but has yet to regain consciousness. Seventeen's manager and Pledis Entertainment have both released statements saying that they have not yet given up hope._  
  
_“We are still hoping, still praying for Mingyu,” Seventeen's Leader “S. Coups” said in an interview last week. “However, we will still continue to try out best and work hard at producing music for our fans to enjoy.”_  
  
_The Kim family declined to comment on his condition. Seventeen is scheduled for a comeback in the next few months._  
  
Holy shit… I slowly backed away, folding my arms close. Mingyu sat in the chair, frozen, for several minutes – more than long enough to have read through it. I swallowed, unsure of what to say.  
  
“Mingyu-ah?” I asked softly.  
  
He slowly spun and stood up. His eyes were dark and set, and his face had gone strangely pale. I wasn’t sure what to do… I tried again. “Mingyu?”  
  
“Excuse me,” he said abruptly, brushing past me. I reached out and grabbed his arm.  
  
“Wait,” I said haltingly, though I wasn’t sure why. What was I going to say to him? ‘Sorry to hear about your coma’? He turned, briefly, and stared at me, all trace of playful sarcasm gone. “I…” I said slowly. “Is it true? Do you… can you remember any of it?”  
  
“No,” he snapped, jerking his arm free. I watched, helpless, as he ran down the steps. I wanted to follow, but the look on his face… instead, I turned back to the computer, walking over and sitting back down. I reread the article over and over, trying to make sense of it all. It just wasn’t possible, was it? How could one person be in two places at once?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly... this is dragging on in my head, I'm thinking of maybe stopping or something because I've been very busy and I don't know if people are reading/enjoying it. I'll keep posting until I can't, when that happens I'll let you know :3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philosophy?!

_ Mingyu _

I thumped down the stairs, not caring about being quiet or careful. I'd been in a coma? For a _year?_ That wasn't possible… how could it be? I was here, I was _alive,_ how could I be in a coma?

Reaching the bottom of the steps I scanned the living room for a small, isolated area to hide in. There wasn't much furniture that could hide my large frame, a cupboard in behind the front door, dark oak with a glossy finish caught my eye however. Stalking over to it, I threw the door back to be met by coats, scarves, umbrellas and the like. Pushing some aside I sank to the ground and pulled the door closed.

“Shit...” I breathed, a tear stinging my cold skin like a warm hand on ice. Before, when I had wondered if I was dead, I thought things couldn’t get any worse. This,  _this_ was worse. I slammed my head against the wall behind me. All the anxiety that had been suppressed for the past day was now bubbling in my chest, feeling like it could explode at any minute. I took in a deep, shaky breath and looked down to my hands.

They were unusually cold and pale, blue veins pulsating beneath my skin. I traced the faint lines up my arm. Surely _this_ was enough to show I was alive, blood was pulsing through my veins, I was breathing. Sure, some people couldn't touch me, or see me, or hear me… But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm not _here._

As I rested my face on my knees, rubbing my eyes gently, there was a small, timid knock on the door, followed by a faint _Mingyu-ah;_ I didn't answer. Despite my lack of response, the door opened, light blinding me momentarily before disappearing completely. Wonwoo slumped down next to me and squeezed my arm gently. However, he remained silent. I felt his message clearly though; actions speak louder than words.

We sat like that for a few minutes, his presence was comforting. _He_ at least could see me; confirm my existence. Wonwoo moved slightly, cautiously so not to disturb me. “At least you’re still alive,” he murmured softly. He stroked my hair and I let my head fall onto his shoulder. His touch was soft.

“Yeah... still alive. I might as well not be. All I’m doing is causing more pain to my family and friends by being alive. At least if I had died, then they could get on with their lives.”  
  
Wonwoo grabbed my head and forced me to look into his eyes. Despite the complete darkness I could feel the fiery heat they were omitting.  
  
“Don’t you  _dare_ say that,” he said slowly; coldly; evenly. “They still have hope, and believe me, that counts for something.”  
  
Our gazes remained locked for several minutes after that, his thumb softly brushing against my cheek. Finally his posture softened and he let go of my face, his hand falling softly to my shoulder.  
  
“Come on,” he said gently. “Let’s go back out there, yeah?”  
  
I nodded, accepting his offer to help me up. I followed him into the daylight, my head hung low and tears dripping down my face, still clutching his hand.

_ Wonwoo _

Next time, I’ll know better than to ask Kim Miingyu a vague, open-ended question.  
  
It was nearly thirty minutes since I’d asked him to tell me a little about himself, and I was seriously beginning to regret it. Especially since my mind kept wandering, thinking about our bizarre situation… trying to conjure up plausible reasons for his appearance. There was a strange niggling in the back of my mind… like an idea trying to form and take shape… only, it  _couldn’t_ , because every time I came close to grasping it, Mingyu would interrupt, sounding irritated, and ask if I was even listening to him.

“… so… I wanted to take up an instrument when I was about seven, and I _really_ wanted to play trumpet but my Mum said no because it was too loud… Instead she bought me a flute and that was that.” Mingyu paused, staring hard, apparently waiting for some sort of response from me.  _  
  
_ I blinked, trying to figure out how far into his autobiography he’d gotten. Wasn’t he _tired_ yet? “Instruments?” I managed to repeat. “Oh… why did you choose flute? Did you take lessons or something?” Hey, at least I was making an effort.

“I just  _told_  you that! Yes! I took them until I was fourteen… but then, _oh man_ get this, so my _cousin_ comes to stay with us for a month I think? Yeah a month and you'll never guess what she brought!”

“A trumpet?” I drawled. Mingyus face fell as if I had ruined a hilarious joke for him.

  
“Sorry,” I said absent-mindedly. I lapsed back into deep thought, adding up the facts for about the 50th time that day. I glanced over at him, taking in his unblemished, flawless appearance… there had to be something up with that. Ordinary people, human beings just weren’t…  _perfect_  in everyday life… it was infeasible in so many ways… everything on this Earth wore out eventually… got dirty, run down, or decayed…  
  
I stopped at that thought, pondering two of those words:  _on Earth_ … Yes… but not, per say, somewhere a little more metaphysical…   
  
Right… I’d had a class on religion last semester, where we had discussed perfection and its limitations… there were all sorts of interesting theories… like, for instance, Plato had said that only the  _idea_  of something could be perfect, never the physical manifestation of that idea… well, I wasn’t sure about that, because there was certainly a physical Mingyu sitting there, babbling about how shit his cousin was at trumpet and how unfair it was that she was allowed to play it in the house. What had Aquinas said? Something about how everything was classified by its perfection? I couldn’t remember what his point had been, possibly because none of his theories made a damn bit of sense to me during the lecture, but at any rate, I didn’t figure it mattered. That was sort of irrelevant, anyway… Hmmm… Augustine had come up with an idea about there being two parts to every person, imperfect and perfect; the body and the soul, and--  
  
I blinked. Two parts? 

“Hold that thought,” I said suddenly to Mingyu, leaping up from the lounge. “Stay right there! I’ll be back!” He gave me a bewildered look as I dashed from the room, a half-assed idea taking shape in my mind.   
  
******  
  
Forty-five minutes, seven books, and one-and-a-half energy drinks later, I had my answer. Well, I had a hypothesis, anyway. Perhaps an odd, completely unbelievable hypothesis, but it was a start… and really, at this point, it was the only thing we had to go on. I clutched the ancient, worn copy of  _Retractations_  in my hand, feeling very accomplished.  
  
It was right there on the page, in Augustine’s lectures on the Gospel of John. Number 32… I studied the second paragraph, rereading the key phrases.  _There is therefore an inner thirst and an inner belly, because there is an inner man. And that inner man is indeed invisible, but the outer man is visible; but yet better is the inner than the outer._ I’d been taught that Augustine was referring to a statement made by Christ, about ‘filling’ one’s soul with the ‘sustenance’, or love, of God… hence the whole ‘inner belly’ thing… but was it possible that there was a physical, literal interpretation to it?  _It is quite certain that a man loves his soul more than his body. But further, a man loves the soul even in another more than the body. What is it that is loved in a friend, where the love is the purer and more sincere? What in the friend is loved -- the mind, or the body?_ Right… what mattered more? Obviously, the mind, the ‘inner man’… so… since the ‘inner’, or the soul, was more important, was it possible that he was sent here for me to take care of him? That somehow, the two Mingyus – inner and outer – had gotten separated accidentally before their due time, and that until they could be…  _reunited_ , for lack of a better word, I was appointed the caretaker of his soul, for whatever reason? 

I bookmarked the page and took a deep breath. Mingyu, surprisingly, had remained downstairs, following my orders. I tucked the book under my arm, running down the steps into the living room. He looked up at me expectantly when I entered.  
  
“I have an idea,” I said. “It’s a little crazy, and sort of ridiculous, and you’ll probably think I’ve been smoking some weird shit, but it’s an idea. A theory.”  
  
He gave me a surprised look. “You do?”  
  
“Yeah…” I walked over to him, opening up the book. “Read this page.”   
  
He took it from me, holding the book open and scanning down the page. I sat down next to him, waiting for his response. He was silent for several minutes, reading.   
  
“Okay,” he said finally. “Wow.”  
  
“I know, right?” I said. “What do you think?”  
  
His face reddened a little, oddly enough. “About?”  
  
“About what Augustine said. Do you think that it’s… possible?”  
  
“Well… anything’s possible, isn’t it?” he asked. “Especially with the way things are going here…”  
  
“You know what I mean,” I said. “Doesn’t it make sense, though?”  
  
He was quiet for several more moments, and I eyed him suspiciously. Right. Sometimes I forgot that not everyone in this world was as lame as me. “Mingyu,” I said slowly. “Did you understand what you just read?”

He pressed his lips tightly together. “Uh… no.”  
  
I sighed, closing my eyes. “Why didn’t you  _tell_  me that in the first place?”  
  
“ I didn’t want to look stupid…” he grumbled. “We’re not all nerds like  _you_. Now, can you explain this in layman’s terms for me?”  
  
“Alright,” I muttered. I took a minute to collect my thoughts before offering him an explanation. “I’ve had classes on this sort of thing. This book here,” I picked it up, pointing to the cover, “was written by St. Augustine, a religious philosopher. He believed that every person is basically composed of two parts. Everyone has an ‘inner man’ and an ‘outer man’. Or, ‘inner woman’ and ‘outer woman’ - person even, whatever the case may be. Anyway, this ‘inner man’ is like, a person’s soul. Souls are as close to perfection as we can get. You know, no one can ever truly be ‘perfect’ because only God is ‘perfect’. The ‘outer man’ is the body that holds a soul. It’s not perfect, and it, in fact, holds the soul back. Augustine actually went so far as to call a person’s body a ‘ _prison’_  for the soul. When we think of people going to heaven, we think of their  _souls_ going to heaven, correct? Not the actual bodies. The ‘inner’ and ’outer’ man have to separate when a person dies.”   
  
“I think I kinda understand,” he interrupted. “ But what’s this got to do with me?”

I sighed impatiently. Couldn’t he see where this was heading?! “I’m not done yet. Now, what  _I_  think might have happened is that somehow your ‘inner man’ and ‘outer man’ have been separated before their due time. Your ‘outer man’ is back in a Seoul hospital, bandaged and bruised… You,” I poked him hard in the ribs,  _“_ _you,_ sitting right here in my living room, are the ‘inner man’, without the prison of a real body.”  
  
He stared at me, as if I’d just told him that I was the Prime Minister of Canada. “But I  _have_ a body! You’re poking it right now!  _Bruising_  it, actually…”  
  
“Oh?” I asked. “Yes _, I_  can touch it… but who else can?” He remained silent after that, point taken. I continued. “I think it’s just an illusion… For some reason, I’ve been given this ability to be able to touch you, see you, communicate with you. No one else can… I dunno, this is sort of a silly example, but it’s kind of like those 3-D glasses you use with movies and stuff. If you don’t have the glasses, you don’t know you’re missing anything. They use optical illusions to allow you to see all the extra stuff. So let’s think of it this way: God, or whatever higher power you believe in, has given  _me_ some kind of extraordinary perception, like those 3-D glasses, so that I can see you… You’re real, and you’re tangible to me, but not to anyone else.”

He nodded, soaking in that information. “Now, this would also explain why you haven’t felt the need to shower within the past few weeks, and why you don’t appear to be harmed in any way from your accident,” I said. “The ‘outer man’ takes the brunt of physical harm and change; it doesn’t much affect the guy inside.” I leaned back against the cushion, picking at the hem of my shirt. “And… as for you ending up here… you said you prayed, right?” He nodded. “Well… I think that I’ve been, like… appointed your caretaker, for the time being… maybe that’s why I’ve been given the ‘gift’ of seeing you. You prayed for help, you ended up here. So…” I trailed off.  
  
Mingyu stared out the window for a minute. “Damn,” he said. “That’s… incredible. You thought of all that yourself?”  
  
“Well,” I said, blushing a little. “  _Augustine_  thought of it, thousands of years ago, really...”  
  
He waved me off. “Yeah, but… wow. It sounds unbelievable, but… it makes sense. It really makes sense…” He shook his head and offered me a small smile. “I would have never thought of that in a million years.”  
  
I shrugged. “Yeah, I surprised myself a little with that one.”  
  
“So…” he said slowly. “We’ve established how I ended up like this… but… why? Why would my ‘inner man’ have been separated? And why would  _you_  be the one to help me?”  
  
“Maybe there’s been a mistake…”  
  
He gave me a confused look. “ _But Hyung, don't they all say that God_ _ _doesn't__ _make mistakes?_.”  
  
“Right…” I murmured, staring absent-mindedly at the side pocket of his jeans. The edge of the fabric, right where the seams ran down, was beginning to fray. “Well, Mingyu… I guess we’re just going to have to wait and see how all this plays out, because that’s one thing I definitely don’t have an answer for.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL this one was interesting to write... hope you enjoy it!!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting sick of writing chapter summaries bc idek what to say...

_ Mingyu _

I hate waiting.

  
I’ve always been an impatient person, I’ll admit that. I hate waiting in line at the movies, waiting for tables in restaurants, waiting on other members to get out of the bathroom… and traffic? Shit, don’t get me started. But that was just trivial stuff. Totally pointless. Not anything to really get too worked up over.

This, on the other hand, was my  _life_  we were talking about here.   
  
We were both still sitting on the couch at nearly six o’clock, having spent the remainder of the day conversing. Over the course of the day, we’d basically come to the conclusion that I had no choice but to stay with Wonwoo. It would have been ridiculous for me to try and ‘live’ anywhere else… in my current condition, I was basically incapable of taking care of myself, so he would have to help me. So, once this was decided, we’d just sat around, talking aimlessly, trying to learn a little more about each other. Since I would essentially be living with him indefinitely, and all...

So far, I was learning quite a bit. I’d begun by asking him to take me through his yearbook – I figured the best way to get to know someone was to have a visual aid handy. He’d flipped through the book, showing me pictures of him and his friends, the clubs he’d belonged to, the teachers he loved and the ones he despised. Once we’d reached the end of the book, my curiosity won out and I had to ask him about the rude message left on his autograph pages.  
  
“So Hyung… There’s this message from some girl named Sooah,” I said slowly. “What’s up with that?”  
  
His face immediately darkened, and I could see him visibly clench his jaw. “Kang Sooah… why, she’s my lovely next-door neighbour, why do you ask?”

 _Next-door neighbor? Sorority-type girl, by any chance?_  I thought, remembering the drunken girls screaming and waking me up the night before. “Because the note she left was a little… I dunno… rude?”  
  
“Of course. It’s from her, what else would it be?” Wonwoo was slowly growing livid, the more we talked about it… I hesitated before continuing.  
  
“So… what’s the deal?” I asked. I felt a little nosy, pressing him about such things, but my curiosity won.  
  
“What is there to say? She screwed me over.” When I kept staring at him, waiting for further explanation, Wonwoo sighed angrily. “Basically, it’s this: I was going to go to a school dance with her… I really couldn't believe it when she asked me, I mean, she was pretty, and popular and rich... but on the night of the dance, she called me up, said she couldn't go with me anymore. It was way too late for me to find another date...”  
  
“What?” I repeated. “Why did she do that?!” Wonwoo snorted.

“Isn't it obvious? It was all a _joke_ … she was never going to go with me in the first place, she was just out to humiliate me… Anyway, I already had a suit and everything, so I went by alone. Actually, several of us just went as a big group… rather than coupling off into ‘dates’.” Wonwoo sighed. “It was less embarrassing that way.”

I stared at him, admittedly feeling a little pity. “I'm sorry, Hyung... that's terrible.” Wonwoo must've detected the sympathy in my voice because his expression jumped from one of sorrow to one which could be described as smug.

“She did it, I think, because I caught her trying to cheat off me during a calculus test… and I told the teacher.”

I laughed. “So you tattled?”  
  
“I did  _not_  tattle! I’m not letting that bitch get an A because she fucking  _copied_  off me!” Wonwoo practically shouted. Whew, alright… time to find another topic of conversation. He was getting entirely too worked up.  
  
“Sorry, sorry,” I said meekly. “I never really had to worry about that sort of thing… kind of hard for people to cheat off you when nine out of ten times your answer is wrong…”  
  
Wonwoo smiled then, and I was inwardly relieved. “Come on, I'm sure that's not true. You seem like a bright kid,” with that he playfully ruffled my hair. It was a very comforting gesture.

“Well, I say believe what you want, even if it's not true...”

“Mingyu?”

“Hyung?”

“Shut up.”

“No.” Wonwoo watched me as I stood up and stretched my arms high over my head, yawning. “Jesus, are you tired already?” he paused. “Do you still sleep?”  
  
“Yeah… I still sleep. I told you, that’s how I ended up here… I fell asleep outside.” I paced across the room, trying to get some feeling back into my legs. They had gone numb from sitting there so long… “I just can’t sit still any longer. I need to get up and do something.”  
  
“Well,” he said thoughtfully. “I guess we could go for a drive… I could give you a tour or something.”  
  
An opportunity to get out of the house and do something  _normal_? “Let’s go,” I said immediately.  
  
******

Driving, I have figured out, must be something Wonwoo does when he wants to relax. As we cruised down the mostly empty streets, his expression grew much softer, more relaxed. He had the radio set to a classic rock station, which I didn't mind, and he rolled the windows down, letting a warm summer-evening breeze flow through the car. The wind whipped through my hair, sending the strands cascading wildly all over the place, but for once, I didn’t mind. For the first time since I’d ‘woken up’, I actually felt… good. Alive. Normal.  
  
He sang along with the radio – I couldn't help but laugh at him trying to keep up with the English words. He seemed to be in a much calmer mood.

I was dying of curiosity, to ask him about his living situation, which he hadn’t yet explained, other than to say that both of his parents were no longer alive when we were getting to know each other… Well, maybe he was in a more receptive mood now. “So…” I started slowly. “Where… where did you live? After your dad… passed away…”

“Well… I moved in with Junhui’s family. They took care of me. They’ve always been basically my second family, anyway… his Dad and my Dad worked together.”  
  
“You don’t have any other relatives?”  
  
“One… an uncle. Changho. Dad’s brother. My Mum was an only child… and both sets of grandparents are gone.”  
  
“Why didn’t you live with him?” Wonwoo turned the car again, veering onto an exit ramp. We drove onto a road that looked similar to an interstate, but was inside the city.  
  
He gave a sort of half-laugh. “Well… he’s 15 years older than Dad… never married… and he lives in Jeju. He wouldn’t even know how to begin taking care of a teenager… it just made more sense for me to live with Mr and Mrs Wei. They knew me already, they already considered me their son; I considered them my second parents… and that way, I wouldn’t have to move. Technically, he was listed as my legal guardian until I was 19… but he let me live here.”

I nodded slowly. “Well, do you ever talk to him?”  
  
“Occasionally. He sends me money so that I can pay the bills… well, at least until I graduate… then I’m on my own. He pays my credit card bill… that sort of thing.”  
  
_Damn, must be nice to have someone else pay for everything…_ I immediately retracted that thought, realising that no matter how nice having money was, it was a poor substitute for parents and family… well, I guessed he  _did_  have a family, though, just not a biological one. And he seemed fairly well-adjusted, for the most part… well, the cussing was a little extreme, and he was certainly a cynic, but that was to be expected.  
  
“How old is Junhui?” I asked. “Eighteen, maybe Nineteen?”  
  
Wonwoo smothered a laugh. “Oh, jeez, Mingyu… it’s a good thing he can’t hear you. If you ever told him that, he’d probably kick your ass.”  
  
“Why?” I demanded.

“He's my age, Mingyu, a bit older. And sometimes a little sensitive about his ‘baby-faced’ looks…” Wonwoo smirked. “He’s had bartenders refuse to serve him. Chewed one of them out pretty good, actually…”  
  
“Oh,” I said. “Well, like you said, it doesn’t matter… since he can’t see me anyway.”  
  
“Yeah,” Wonwoo said, growing quieter. “I have the feeling things are going to get a little complicated.”

******  
  
When we arrived back home, Junhui had already returned. Wonwoo turned to me before we entered the house. “Just stay out of the way, and don’t talk to me,” he said.   
  
“That's so sweet, Hyung!”   
  
“You know what I mean…”  
  
“Fine, fine…” I followed him into the house, feeling a little nervous, truthfully. Though I wasn’t sure why… I wasn’t the one who was caught in the middle. Wonwoo strode quickly into the kitchen, and I lagged behind, uncertain of what to do, or where to go. Upstairs? Maybe… but my natural nosiness was present, as well, and I decided to stay and listen. See what they might talk about while alone.  
  
I tried staying in the other room and listening through the walls, but when the dishwasher kicked on, I couldn’t hear. Sighing, I walked into the kitchen, choosing to stand next to the wall, out of the way like he’d asked. Wonwoo had asked Junhui about his day, and I listened as he ranted about people standing him up for their meetings and getting a parking ticket for staying in the library lot too long.   
  
“ _Twenty thousand won!_!” Junhui exclaimed. “For parking there, like, ten minutes too long! God, I _hate_ the parking in this city…

“Yeah, that sucks,” Wonwoo said. He abruptly switched subjects, grinning. “So… you hungry?” I couldn’t hide my snort at that. Another thing I was learning – Wonwoo could eat like a horse. Before we’d come back to the house, he’d insisted on stopping at McDonald's and getting an ice cream and a Coke. I was seriously considering the thought that he might have a tapeworm, or something.  
  
“Wonwoo! You weren’t even listening!”  
  
“Yes, I was… you got a ticket. It sucks. I understand. So… pizza sound good?”  
  
“Fine, fine…” Junhui collapsed down at the kitchen table, pushing his hair off his face. “If you call it in.”  
  
“Alright… what do you want?”  
  
“Ah, the usual.”

I perked up. Would I be getting some of this pizza, a little later when Junhui was in bed? “What’s the usual?” I asked, forgetting that I wasn’t supposed to talk. “Hey, get mushrooms on it. I like mushrooms.”  
  
Out of habit, Wonwoo spun to face me, and nearly spoke back. He suddenly stopped, his mouth sort of hanging open, like a fish.  
  
“Wonwoo? You okay?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I was just… thinking…” When Junhui turned his head, Wonwoo glared at me. _Stop it_ , he mouthed. I shrugged apologetically. “Okay,” he said, speaking to Junhui again. “I’m just gonna… get mushrooms on it, too. That alright?”  
  
Junhui looked surprised. “Mushrooms? I thought you hated mushrooms!”  
  
“Oh – well, yeah, like… in  _salads_  and stuff,” Wonwoo said quickly. “Raw mushrooms? Nasty. But maybe on pizza… you never know until you try, right?”  
  
Junhui nodded slowly. “I suppose…” 

Wonwoo gave him a cheery grin and picked up the phone. While he gave the order to the pizza place – pepperoni, extra cheese, sausage, black olives,  _and_  my mushrooms – I carefully walked to the other side of the room, sitting down in one of the bar stools at the counter. I was tired of standing. Junhui got up moments later, saying something about going to the bathroom, and I waited until he was out of earshot to speak. Wonwoo walked towards me, glowering.  
  
“I hate black olives,” I said, grinning when Wonwoo gave me a murderous look. Jeez, Medusa herself would have been jealous of  _that_  one. I fully expected to be morphed into a statue of rock any second.  
  
“You can get over it… and pick them off. By the way, didn’t I tell you not to open your big mouth? Besides, I  _do_  hate mushrooms. So if I have to eat that nasty fungi, you can handle a few black olives.”  
  
“Touché,” I muttered. “When’s it getting here, by the way?”  
  
“Thirty minutes. Although… you realise you’ll have to wait and eat later…”  
  
“Yes, yes,” I grumbled. “I already knew that. Eating your scraps, like a dog…”  
  
He actually laughed at that, gripping my shoulder. “Well, if it’s any consolation, Mingyu, you’re the prettiest dog I’ve ever had.”  
  
******  
  
Once dinner was over – well, once I’d watched them eat, my stomach rumbling the entire time – Wonwoo and Junhui remained at the table, chatting idly. I was getting a little irritated – I wished Junhui would take himself elsewhere, and let me get a chance at what was left of the pizza. Unfortunately, it didn’t look like that was going to happen anytime soon.   
  
I stood up, feeling a familiar, natural urge… dammit. I had to piss… what was I supposed to do? I started inching towards the stairs, creeping down the hallway.  
  
“Hey, be right back,” I heard Wonwoo say. The next thing I knew, he was right behind me, an expectant look on his face.   
  
“I have to take a piss,” I grumbled at him.   
  
“Okay.” He replied.  
  
I started up the stairs, and to my surprise, he followed. “What are you doing?”  
  
“I'm going with you.”   
  
“What?! Why?” We’d reached the top of the staircase, and I stared at him. He sighed impatiently, shoving me towards the bathroom door. Once inside, he quickly turned on the tap, letting the water rush into the sink.  
  
“What, is that supposed to help me go, or something?” I asked incredulously. “I can manage on my own, thank you…” I walked towards the toilet, sidestepping all the dirty clothes and shoes that were strewn across the floor. Jesus, no wonder he’d worn that hideous shirt. Judging from the pile on the floor, it didn’t appear he had much clean left in his wardrobe…  
  
“No, I’m staying in here, and that’s so I don’t have to listen to you,” he said.   
  
“WHAT?” I exclaimed. “No way. I have my limits.”  
  
“Mingyu, you’re gonna have to flush, you know. So… I had to come with you and pretend like I’m going. Now, I would stand outside the door, but there’s always the chance that Junhui might come up here for something, and then he’d see me out  _there_  while you’re in  _here_  taking your piss, and that just wouldn’t work.” He gave me a challenging look, and I grudgingly had to admit he had a point. I fervently hoped that Junhui worked a lot of extra hours at his job this summer, so he wouldn’t be around so much… a  _lot_ of extra hours. All this espionage-type of hiding would get old real fast. Wonwoo smiled thinly. “Here, I’ll turn around. Better yet, I’ll turn around, close my eyes, cover my ears, and hum the Australian National Anthem. I won’t even know you’re here.”  
  
I scowled, turning and fiddling with my belt. This was ridiculous. I was a grown man, for heaven’s sake, and I had to be escorted to the bathroom? How embarrassing. I finished my business as quickly as I could and pulled the handle. “There. I’m done.”  
  
“Good.” He opened the door, beckoning for me to follow. Which I was in the process of doing, before I tripped over one of his enormous shoes and collapsed into the floor with a thud. Wonwoo let out a yell and bent over at the waist, hiding his laughter again.  
  
“Fuck,” I muttered, rubbing my elbow, which had taken the brunt of the fall. Twice in one day? Jesus.  
  
“Wonwoo!” I heard Junhui call from downstairs. “Are you okay?”  
  
“Fine,” Wonwoo managed to yell back. “I just, uh… tripped over my shoes…” Turning back to me, he grinned. “Maybe you should just lie there awhile,” he suggested. “You might stay out of trouble then.”  
  
I reached over and grabbed his leg roughly. “Hyung, help me up,” I demanded. “It was your stupid, monstrous shoe that did it… jeez, for such a skinny little person, you sure have enormous Yeti feet…”  
  
His eyes widened comically. “You little shit!” he said, sticking out his hand. I grabbed it and lifted myself up. “Mingyu-ah, you’re killing me. You’re absolutely killing me.”  
  
******  
  
Later that night, the question of where exactly I would sleep finally came up. I’d sort of wondered about that, though I’d been hesitant to broach the subject. Wonwoo informed me, around eleven o’clock when he was about to go to bed, that they had a spare bedroom upstairs. I was relieved – I really hadn’t been looking forward to sleeping on the floor, or even on the lounge. A bed would be wonderful, especially as I didn’t know how long I would be ‘staying’.  
  
I followed him down the hall to a room just down from Junhui’s bedroom door. Wonwoo opened it, and inside there was a small twin bed covered in a quilted white doona. “Will this do?” he asked, closing the door behind him. He threw the extra blanket he’d brought from the closet onto the bed.  
  
I nodded, surveying the mostly empty room. “Yeah, it’ll do,” I said. “I’m just glad to  _have_  a bed… I thought maybe I’d have to sleep in the floor, or on the lounge…”  
  
“Mingyu!” He seemed surprised. “I’m not  _that_  mean.”  
  
“I know… it’s just… nevermind.” I sat down on the bed, feeling of the blanket. It was soft and pillowy to the touch.  
  
“Okay…” he said quietly, lest Junhui overhear. “If you need anything, come get me… well… goodnight, I guess…”  
  
“Goodnight.” I didn’t get under the blanket just yet. I watched him head for the door, getting ready to leave. Before he could reach for the door, however, it opened up, and Junhui stuck his head in, looking bewildered.  
  
“What are you doing?” he asked. Wonwoo froze. “Are you sleeping in here?”  
  
“Uh… well… I was thinking about it…”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“My room… is too hot…”  
  
“Well, turn the air on. I’m hot, too.” Junhui smiled at him, a little uncertainly. “Or open your window. Use that screen! That’s what I do when mine gets too hot. It’ll cool it down right away.”  
  
“Oh—okay,” Wonwoo stuttered. “Right…” Junhui stepped back, said goodnight, and disappeared from my view. I bit my lip anxiously. Well, it looked like I was going to end up in the floor, after all…  
  
“Come here,” he whispered, waving for me to follow him. I obeyed, trailing him into his own room. He closed the door behind him.  
  
“I don’t think that’s going to work,” he said quietly. “He’s going to notice if you stay in there. Messed-up blankets, and all… or he might even see a lump in the bed, with no person there… I never even thought of that…”  
  
I sighed. “Neither did I,” I admitted.  
  
“I could fool him for awhile –  _I_  could sleep in there and let you sleep in here, for awhile – but he’d know something was up eventually if I wouldn’t stay in my own room…”  
  
“Right…”  
  
“So… well… I just now thought… my bed is really big. Actually, it’s two beds and box springs pushed together, with a king-sized mattress over the top… so, really, it’s kind of like you would have your own bed…”  
  
“You want me to sleep in here?” I asked in disbelief. “Is this the same guy who accused me of getting fresh with him earlier?”  
  
“You  _did_  get fresh, you bastard… I think you bruised my lip. I hope you kiss your girlfriend better than that.” I grimaced at the thought of her. Hmm… wonder what  _she_  thought about my new ‘condition’… if she had moved on by now… the thought was actually somewhat comforting. “And truthfully, Mingyu, no, I don’t  _want_  you to sleep in here, but we don’t have a choice. I always keep my door closed, he’ll never know the difference. And I’m  _not_  making you sleep in the floor.”  
  
“Well, thank you for that,” I said dryly. He was already dressed for bed, and so he flipped out the overhead light and crawled into bed.   
  
“You get the inside, next to the wall,” he said.   
  
“Okay.” I stood there, unsure of what to do. I had assumed I would sleep in my underwear, back when I thought I would have my own room, but I certainly wasn’t going to do that now…  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“I… I don’t have anything to wear. To sleep in.”  
  
He sighed heavily. “Mingyu… sleep in your boxers and a t-shirt. That’s what  _I’m_  sleeping in, if it makes you feel any better. And I’m not going to freak out when you take your pants off, I promise. I’m not one of your twelve-year-old fans. Here, I won’t even look.” He made a big show of covering her eyes.  
  
“Most of our fans are older than  _that_ ,” I replied haughtily. I reluctantly slipped out of my jeans and crawled over on my side of the bed, lying down. I sank down against a pillow, sighing. Actually, his bed was really comfortable…  
  
“See? Was that so bad?” He flipped off the light and laid back, breathing softly. “I have the most fucked-up life of anyone I know,” he murmured.   
  
“No… actually, I think that title belongs to  _me_.”

 

He laughed. “Right…” He rolled over. “Alright, I’m going to sleep. And Mingyu… if you roll over and hit me in any way during the night, and wake me up… you will pay dearly for it.”   
  
“I might do it,” I said lazily to the darkness, smirking. “I’m a little shit, remember?”  
  
He snickered at that. “That you are, no matter what those twelve-year-old fans say…” I started to protest, but he cut me off. “Goodnight, Mingyu.”  
  
“Goodnight Hyung.”   
  
Well, it had been an interesting day, to say the least.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to add the next chapter to this one but it was just getting too long, it'll be up soon though I'm getting through it! It's been a couple of days since I updated so sorry about that, hope it's okay !!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settling into life together

**Wonwoo, a Week Later**

My eyes slowly fluttered open. Sunlight streamed through the window and onto my face, encouraging me to get out of bed. I relented, albeit reluctantly, and glanced at the clock. 11:00 AM. It was earlier than my usual wake-up time of oh, 1:30 or 2, but I had been making myself get up earlier for Mingyu’s sake. I worried about him running around the house by himself. Not that he would do anything intentionally, but I didn’t want him loose on the chance that Junhui might be around. He didn't even like spooky movies, so I didn't even want to see his reaction to any unusual stunt Mingyu might pull. I scooted up slightly in the bed, and rested my hands behind my head.

What a week. That was all I could say to sum it up, really. Every day when I woke up, I’d glance over and look at Mingyu’s sleeping form, marvelling at the sheer absurdity of the situation as well as his ridiculous good looks. I could admit that he was a good looking guy.

We had spent the last seven days adjusting. To our new lifestyles, to Junhui’s schedule, but most of all, to each other. It wasn’t that I was particularly uncomfortable around him, he seemed nice enough, but marvelling at his beauty had an affect. I felt _weird._ Whenever his arm brushes against mine, or he trips and uses me to keep his balance (which happens quite often annoyingly), it's like a jolt of electricity swarms my body, forcing me me to jump away from the touch. It was weird. The last time I recall it happening was when Sooah had asked me to go to the dance with her, lightly touching my arm as she giggled. But this was different; I didn't _like_ Mingyu. The only reason this was happening was probably because I haven't been this close to someone besides Junhui for years. I'd never even had a 'proper' girlfriend really, so it makes sense that physical touch from people surprises me right? Well, a month or two of dating here and there didn't really constitute a love life, in my opinion. Girls just didn’t like me, that’s all there was to it. I mean sure, I was tall, but my skin was uneven, my muscles weren't that developed, my hair was unruly and a mess more often than not… stupid girls.

Point being, things were different now; I had a Greek god living in my house. For the first time in my life, I actually felt self-conscious; scrutinised. Junhui had been my best friend forever -- he was so used to my flaws that he didn’t even notice them anymore. He didn’t care what I looked like in the morning, or what I smelled like after I exercised, or how thick my accent was. But Mingyu was new, an interruption to my normal, comfortable, slobbish lifestyle. A tall, handsome, charming interruption.

A soft yawn emerged from the figure on my left. Mingyu grunted and rolled over, his arm smacking me in the chest. His body followed and his head found its way onto my shoulder. If there was one thing I’d learned this week, it was that Mingyu’s limbs had a mind of their own while he slumbered. He was a restless sleeper. His arms and legs flailed about, kicking me, hitting me, and just generally getting in the way. More than once I had awakened in the past week to find his arm laying across my face, practically smothering me. His future wife would probably have to wear armour to bed. I almost pitied her, actually. Almost.  
  
I glanced down. Mingyu's tanned arm was draped across my chest and his hair tickled my nose. I started to pick the arm up and prepare myself to shove him off me, but then I grinned and wondered how embarrassed he would be if he woke up like this. I kicked him sharply in the shins.   


“Wha….. argh…. mmmm,” he mumbled, irritated.  
  
“Mingyu-ah, I know we’ve gotten to know each other a lot this week, but I didn’t realise you were such a fast mover.”  
  
“What the hell are you talking about, Hyung,” he grumbled, the words muffled against my neck. His body curled up closer against mine.  
  
“Mingyu, open your eyes.”   
  
I felt his eyelashes brush against my skin. His head jerked up and he stared, first at me, and then to his current position. His complexion broke out in a flush, flaming red as he quickly lifted his arm up and retreated to his side of the bed. I laughed heartily.  
  
“Sorry,” he said, thoroughly embarrassed.  
  
“It’s OK, Mingyu-ah,” I replied. “I know I’m hard to resist.”

He rolled his eyes and smiled, red still staining his cheeks. “What time is it?”  
  
“A little after 11.” I rolled over and glanced at the clock again. Hmmm... almost lunchtime.  
  
He turned himself over so that he was his on his back and sighed, staring up at the ceiling. “Another beautiful day.”  
  
I wondered if he was being sarcastic. I didn’t ask, instead, just turned my head to watch him for a moment. His expression remained blank, however, so I gave up trying to read him and sighed.  
  
“Come on, let’s get up,” I said after a moment’s silence. I pulled myself out of bed and headed for the bathroom.  
  
I ran the sink and splashed cold water on my face. After drying off and getting dressed, I returned to my room to see Mingyu, asleep again, tangled in the sheets. I sighed, and considered leaping onto the bed and forcing him awake, but my kinder side thought better of it. If he wanted to sleep, I’d let him sleep.  
  
I made my way downstairs and to the kitchen. Chester ran up to me, meowing and whining for food.

“Geez, kitty,” I murmured. “Calm down, I’m coming.” I fed him, and then fed myself a frozen pizza and chips. It was unhealthy, greasy, and absolutely delicious.  
  
I wondered what sort of crazy adventure Mingyu wanted to embark upon today. Last week was certainly one for the books. I guess you could say that he was adjusting to his new environment well. In addition to exploring every corner of the house, he'd also ventured outside, where he'd discovered the trampoline. And of course, insisted that we jump on it. He'd discovered our X-Box, and we spent hours playing it. One of these marathon game sessions almost got us caught. Junhui had come home unexpectedly, and wondered why I had the game set on “two player” mode. I told him that I never won when I played against the machine, and I was tired of losing. Lame and incredibly stupid, I know, but he believed it. I’ve said stranger things before.  
  
So yeah, Mingyu was settling in nicely, at least as nicely as an unconscious, trapped idol could be, living in Hicksville with a guy like me. And in the process of settling in, he was wearing me out. I followed him everywhere, making sure he wouldn’t cause trouble or get us caught. The amount of energy that boy had amazed me; I felt like a middle-aged slob compared to him. I sympathised with his mother, but more so his groups leader when he told there was eleven of them. I mean eleven? That guy deserved a Medal of Honour or something…

I dragged myself into the living room and collapsed on the lounge. Chester followed suit, leaping onto the couch by my side and purring. While I flipped through the channels on the TV, desperate for some entertainment, I actually found myself wishing that Mingyu would get up soon; I was getting bored.  
  
I had just settled on some weird game show I'd never seen before in my life when I heard a loud thump, followed by several lesser thumps. Sounded like Mingyu was making his way down the stairs. Chester looked up in alarm, and I patted his furry head.  
  
“It’s OK, sweetie, it’s just Mingyu. You know, the _other_ clumsy one.”  
  
Chester gave me a suspicious look, but relented and rested his head again. I was pretty sure he was suffering from a case of feline jealousy. And why wouldn't he? Chester was used to being the king of the house. He was used to getting all the attention. With Mingyu here, however... I watched, laughing, as his ears perked up again, listening to Mingyu approach, and a low growl emitted from his throat.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Mingyu staggered into the room, running his hands through his hair. True to his word, it still didn’t look any worse for wear. He was wearing the same black shirt and jeans that he’d worn every day the past week.  He sat down next to me and tried to make friends with Chester.  
  
“Hey boy, how are ya?” he asked, reaching his hand out to pet the long grey fur. Chester angrily jumped off the lounge and ran into the kitchen, presumably to soothe his frazzled nerves with his food bowl. They say pets act like their owners, and he was no exception.  
  
Mingyu looked so sad that I had to laugh. “Give him time. I think he’s just jealous of you. He’s used to being the centre of attention in this house.”  
  
“So you’re saying  _I’m_ the centre of attention in the house now?” Mingyu raised one eyebrow suggestively.  
  
I felt my face flush slightly. “I’m just saying..... you’re invading his territory. Cats are very territorial creatures.”  
  
“So I’ve noticed.” He twisted around to see into the kitchen. “I’m gonna get some food.”  
  
“Go for it.”  
  
He settled back onto the couch a few minutes later with a sandwich and chips. Fritos. The _last_ of the Fritos. Damn him.  
  
“You ate all the Fritos!”  
  
He smirked. “No, not yet. But I’m about to.”  
  
"Dammit, now I'm going to have to go to the store and get another bag..." My grocery bill this week was going to be astronomical. Well, that is, if I could gather the courage to show my mug in that place again. Ugh. I groaned at the thought of seeing Eunsuh after the spectacle that had happened last week.  
  
“What’s your problem Hyung?” Mingyu asked, his face stuffed full of my Fritos. He leaned forward, holding the plate in front of my face. He had crumbs all around his mouth and chin. “If you want some chips, hell, take them.”  
  
“No, thank you. For once, that’s not it.”  
  
“Well what is it?”  
  
“I don’t feel like talking about it just yet... let’s just say that I need to find another grocery store.”  
  
Mingyu munched for a few more minutes, then cleared his throat. “Is this about that bag girl thing, you know, you said something that first day I was here, about a bag girl at Emart. Do you like her or something?”  
  
“Yeah...” I said it slowly and quietly. “Well, I did, anyway.”  
  
“What happened?”  
  
I grunted in irritation. What was he, a psychologist? I didn't feel like spilling my guts about my pathetic loser crush...  
  
“No, come on, tell me! Please Hyung? Pleeeeeaaassseeee?” Damn, but he could be whiny when he wanted to. I rolled my eyes.   
  
“Fine,” I sighed. “Well, basically, what happened, we went to the store, I tried to flirt, and failed miserably, because I have absolutely no social skills whatsoever. Not only that, but I knocked over an M&M stand and dropped a bottle of spaghetti sauce on the floor, right in front of her. So now she thinks I'm a complete, utter idiot.”  
  
Mingyu let out a guffaw, but then sobered. “Sorry, that’s kind of funny.”  
  
I glared at him. “Funny, my ass. But then again, I guess  _you,_ Mr. Pin-up Pop-idol _,_ never have to worry about getting dates.”  
  
“Oh come on Hyung, that’s not fair.”  
  
“It’s perfectly fair, and perfectly true.” On second thought, I  _did_  want some of those Fritos. I leaned over and grabbed a handful from his plate.  
  
“No, it’s not. So you made a mess, so what? Did you even try to ask her out?”  
  
“No, but I didn’t need to. She asked Junhui out, when we were in the parking lot. Right in front of my face.”  
  
His eyes widened a little. “Oooh....”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“That sucks.”  
  
“Tell me about it.”  
  
Mingyu finished off the chips and licked his fingers thoughtfully. “Well, like they say, there’s other fish in the sea. One day you’ll catch one.”  
  
I sputtered with laughter. Another thing I’d learned about Mingyu is that he seemed to fancy himself a philosopher. Aristotle, Socrates, Kim Mingyu. “Mingyu...” I started, but then stopped, shaking my head. Pretty boys wouldn't be able to understand this.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Nevermind. Let’s drop it.”  
  
“Well, alright, if you say so.”  
  
“So...” I started, changing the subject. “What are we going to do today? And don’t you dare say anything that involves trampolines, or  _any_ physical activity, for that matter. My back is still sore from where you almost broke it yesterday.”  
  
Ah, the trampoline. Once it had been discovered, he had dragged me outside to it, begging me to jump with him. After all, he couldn’t jump by himself. But he had neglected to tell me that he’d never been on one before. Jumping on one alone takes a certain amount of self-control. Two people jumping at the same time (especially when one of them lacks coordination, and for once we‘re not talking about me here), well, that’s just asking for trouble. So naturally, total chaos ensued, including several accidental kicks to the face and me tripping over one of his flailing legs and falling off the damn thing.  
  
He gave me a hurt look. “What?!”  
  
I laughed. “You did! Admit it!”  
  
“So I’m not a gymnast. Sor- _RY_!”  
  
I grinned at him. “Apology accepted, I guess. But you owe me a massage later. A good one, too, and not one of those half-assed deals... your hands are gonna  _cramp_.”   
  
“Alright, alright,” he consented. “But I actually had an idea of what we could do today.... if you wouldn’t mind.”  
  
Oh, really? Well, well. “Shoot.”  
  
“Let’s go shopping!”  
  
I scrunched my face up. “Shopping?”   
  
“Yes. Please, can we go get me some different clothes? These are driving me crazy.”  
  
“But they’re not dirty... you said so yourself.”  
  
“Yes, but I’m getting tired of wearing the same thing over and over. Please? Just go buy me a few outfits, so I can have something to change into. I’ll go with you. Come on Hyung.... _pleeeeeaaaaaaase_?”  
  
I wondered how many times I was going to hear that today.  
  
“I don’t know, Mingyu, why don't you wear some of my clothes?” I said. Out, in public, with an invisible, chaotic friend? Sounded like a recipe for disaster if I'd ever heard one.  
  
“Come on! You barely have enough clean clothes for yourself!” Rude.   
  
“Actually, you’re incorrect, these socks are fresh out of the wash.”  
  
He banged his fist on the lounge, scowling. “You know what I mean. Just a quick trip to the shopping centre.”

“I get the feeling that you're not one to be quick whilst clothes shopping...”  
  
That snide remark resulted in a pillow to the face and ultimately, a wrestling match which ended with me, stomach-down on the floor, with my hands pinned behind me and Mingyu sitting on my back, crowing triumphantly. He was actually a lot stronger than he looked, go figure.  
  
“Let go of me,” I grunted, by body itching to get away from his. “Your buttbone is piercing my kidney.”  
  
“No Hyung, not until you say, ‘I’m sorry, Mingyu. You’re the manliest man I know, my _favourite_ dongsaeng, and of course I’ll take you shopping.’ ”  
  
“First off,” I gasped, “that statement in itself is contradictory, and secondly, NEVER!”  
  
"SAY IT!"  
  
Five minutes passed. I would have upheld my principles longer, but for one to uphold one’s principles, one needs to be breathing. I relented, cursing his unforeseen strength.  
  
“ALRIGHT! WE’LL GO!” I screeched. “JUST PLEASE GET OFF ME!”  
  
He stood up, chalking his hands together in victory. “That’s what I  _thought._ ”  
  
I stood up, slightly woozy. I was going to have a lovely bruise on my back tomorrow morning. “OK, well, we might have to make a pit stop by the ER first, I want to check for kidney failure.”  
  
“Shoosh, and go get your shoes on Hyung.”  
  
Shoosh? That was  _my_ word. That little thief. Interrupting my summer, eating my food, now stealing my vocabulary? I smacked him. He pushed me towards the stairs.  
  
“Come on, hurry! You want to get there and back here before Junhui gets home, don’t you?”  
  
Well, he actually had a point there. I hurried upstairs, changed into some neater clothes, and put my shoes on. When I careened back down the steps, he was waiting, with one arm outstretched, my car keys dangling from his hand. I snatched them and headed for the door.  
  
“Come on, Hyung,” he grinned excitedly, patting me on the back. Jesus, he was like a five-year-old at Christmas. “Let’s rock and roll.”  
  
"Rock and roll? What do  _you_  know about rock and roll?" I was amazed when he grabbed my arm and spun me around.  
  
"Hyung, I know  _plenty_. Probably more than you."   
  
"I doubt that," I muttered under my breath as I wrenched free. "Come on, let's go. Let's get this over with." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have another chapter ready to go but idk when i'll post it like would you guys like it now or would a bit of a break be better? Anyway this was so shitty sorry haha


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping is a little harder than expected.

_**Mingyu** _

We arrived at the mall around one o’clock. Wonwoo parked the car, killed the engine, then turned to face me, his face set and serious.  
  
“OK,” he stated. “It’s time to set some ground rules.”  
  
Ground rules? Sheesh, he sounded like my Seungcheol.   
  
“OK, are you 21, or 40?” I grumbled.  
  
He ignored me. “Rule Number One: Do  _not_  talk to me unless absolutely necessary, and only when it’s safe for me to reply. In other words, when there is no one else in the vicinity.”  
  
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, come on Hyung!”  
  
“Mingyu! Do you agree or not?”  
  
“I don’t see what the big deal is. Let’s just go in.” I folded my arms and leaned back against the seat.  
  
“The  _big deal_  is, this is my local shopping centre. I know people here, and I’d prefer they  _not_  think I was talking to _myself_.  
  
“You’re so melodramatic.”  
  
“Dammit, Mingyu, yes or no? I can turn this car around, you know…”  
  
“YES, GODDAMMIT HYUNG! Alright!”  
  
He pointed a finger at me. “Watch your mouth, young man. Okay, next. Number Two: You don’t touch  _anything_. Got it?"   
  
“Got it.” I saluted him.  
  
“Three: Stay out of the way, particularly of other people. Yes, I know you can't even  _touc_ _h_ them, but please. Show a little respect. Don't do anything stupid." He took a deep breath. "Four: And this one really just ties everything else together -- please, for the love of God, just  _behave yourself_.”  
  
“I think I’m having second thoughts about coming here…”  
  
“Come on, let’s go.” He jumped out of the car, and beckoned for me to follow, out of his side. Presumably so people wouldn’t see the passenger door open and close for no reason. Jeez, he really had thought of everything. I sighed, unbuckling the seat belt so I could get ready to crawl over. I felt like an undercover agent, with all this hiding out and watching for people. Personally, I thought he was overreacting, but I didn’t protest. It was just easier to go along with whatever weirdo scheme he'd dreamed up, I’d learned.  
  
I struggled out of my seat and into the driver’s seat while he stood outside the car and pretended to look for something in the side of the door. Of course, he would have to drive a manual. The tall knob jammed into my leg and my pants caught on it. Shit. I was stuck.  
  
“Hyung,” I hissed. “Help me!”  
  
His face appeared inside the car. “What?!”  
  
“I’m stuck.” I struggled vainly against the offending stick shift to demonstrate.  
  
“Oh, for heaven’s sake--” he leaned in and grabbed my arm, yanking me towards him. “Come  _ON._ ”  
  
I managed to untangle my pant leg and after twisting my body in ways I never dreamed possible, I was outside of the car, and out of breath. He slammed the door closed and sighed.  
  
“Not even in the damn building yet, and already causing trouble,” he muttered, although his lips quivered slightly with laughter.  “How does your leader do it?”  
  
“Seungcheol Hyung usually doesn’t require that I play this stupid game of Spy Vs. Spy.”  
  
Wonwoo flipped me off casually as he began walking and continued. “Now, stay close behind me, and don’t get lost. New rule -- Number Five: Don’t wander off.”  
  
I was still recovering from the rude gesture I'd just gotten, which was completely unprovoked, in my opinion. “Hyung, you flipped me off!” I exclaimed.  
  
“That I did. Are you over it yet?” He looked at me sideways, gauging my reaction.  
  
I threw my hands up. He was completely impossible. “You are  _so_... You know what? Nevermind. Let’s go.”  
  
“Yes, I agree, let’s go, and get this over with. The faster we get in there, the faster we get out.” He took off at a gazelle's pace.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I grumbled. I followed him through the car park and into the main entrance of the shopping centre.  
  
We entered the centre-- a huge, spacious structure lit up with sunlight, thanks to various skylights along the walkway. A not-entirely-unpleasant buzz greeted us, just the normal sounds of conversation and clutter. It was music to my ears. It was the music of  _life._ I was suddenly reminded of this movie I'd watched with Seungcheol, some TV miniseries...  _The Langoliers_ , I think it was called... When the passengers of the plane had returned to the present time, and the sounds of life had finally caught up with them -- it was the most beautiful sound they’d ever heard. I kind of understood what they meant now. I hadn’t realised how much I missed being part of society, a part of the “real” world, until now. I'd always heard the phrase 'No man is an island', but I was just now starting to really understand it...  
  
Stores were lined up endlessly, one after another, on either side. Claire’s, Lerner, Gap, Gadzooks.... Hmmm, where to start. I rubbed my hands together eagerly.  
  
“So, what all is in here? What stores?” I asked.  
  
Wonwoo walked over to the map, pretending to look for something. He was getting good at this 'pretending to be busy' stuff. He stood in front of it, staring at the long list of stores was at the bottom of the map.  
  
“Here, take your pick,” he murmured, so softly that I had to lean in to hear him.  
  
I scanned the list, searching for potential places to blow my money. Er,  _h_ _is_  money, actually. He couldn’t use my credit cards, and I had no cash on me. But I’d promised to pay him back,  _with interest_ , as soon as I woke up, or my 'inner man', as he had put it, decided to get the hell out of Changwon and reunite with my body back in Seoul.  
  
“How about Abercrombie?” Yeah... some nice casual shirts... jeans... perfect. For a start, anyway...  
  
He snorted softly and ran his fingers through his hair. “Figures.”  
  
I was offended by that statement. “What’s  _that_  supposed to mean Hyung?”  
  
Wordlessly, he shoved his hands into his pockets and took off towards what I guessed to be Abercrombie. I trailed behind him, feeling a little like a lost puppy. It was midday, so the centre wasn’t too crowded, but there were still enough people milling about to make me nervous about losing him. And if I got lost, well, it wasn’t like I could ask for directions.  
  
“Hey Speedy, would you mind slowing your ass down? If you don’t want me to get lost then you’re going to have to take it down a notch or two,” I shouted after him. Meanwhile, the passers-by continued on with their business. I looked around, still amazed me that no one else had even registered that. God, it was so weird to be stuck like this... with only  _him_ for company...  
  
He consented by slowing down to a mid-tempo walk. I scurried up beside him, scanning the stores as we ambled through the centre. I looked over, trying reading the expression on his face. I was pretty sure he had blocked me out entirely; his eyes were dreamy and almost expressionless. I wondered if he was even paying attention to where we were going.  
  
“What are you thinking about?” I asked the question before I remembered that I wouldn’t get an answer. His eyes slowly panned sideways toward me, and then returned to their original state. It was his silent way of saying, ' _Shut the fuck up,_ _Mingyu_ _.'_  
  
Finally, a set of golden letters proclaiming ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH came with our view. Wonwoo stopped briefly, staring up at the black-and gold storefront, at the huge black-and-white pictures of Abercrombie models in the windows. He sighed loudly and pointedly as we entered the store.  
  
“OK, I get it, you don’t like this store. But you don’t have to be all hateful about it,” I said. “Cut me some slack.”  
  
Wonwoo reached up to scratch his face, and while doing so, extended a finger up. And  _not_  the one meant for rings. What was with this guy and his middle finger?!  
  
“You’re so rude Hyung.” I stalked off to look in the men’s clothing.  
  
I remembered what he said about not touching anything, and I actually agreed with it. My brief encounters with Seungcheol, back home, had been more than enough to convince me to try otherwise. God, he had looked so scared... poor guy, I was sure he'd never get any of them to believe what he'd seen... I sighed.  
  
Brushing those melancholy thoughts away, I walked around, observing everything, and mentally choosing which clothes I would have him come get. Once I'd worked up a mini-inventory, I turned, satisfied, and called for him.  
  
“Wonwoo Hyung!” I said loudly, looking around. Where the hell was he? All that shit about  _me_  not wandering off, and what does he do? Leave me. Hypocrite.  
  
My heart began thudding quickly as I dashed around the store.  _Where are you? You didn't leave the store, did you? Why are you doing this to me? I am too young for this kind of stress..._  
  
I finally found him, talking to a sales associate near the back. Standing back, I crossed my arms, thinking. Time to even the score a little. If  _he_  didn’t abide by the rules, then neither would I.  
  
“Wwooooonnnnwwwwooooo,” I sang in a shrieking, falsetto voice. “Wonwoo-ahhh! What are you doing?”  
  
I saw his shoulders tense up slightly at my words, and I laughed evilly. Walking up to their conversation, I positioned myself directly in front of him, causing a divide between him and the associate. I was taller than both of them, so I knew he wouldn’t be able to see him. I put my hands on my hips and spoke in a fake cheery tone.  
  
“Whatcha talking about? I picked out some clothes.”  
  
He stared at me silently, not quite believing what he was seeing. I made a big show of turning around, looking behind me, studying the associate. Some generic-frat-boy type. He was giving Wonwoo an odd look, though obviously he couldn't see it.  
  
“Oh, did I interrupt something?" I asked sweetly. "Were you flirting with this guy here? Should I move out of the way?”  
  
He blinked several times in rapid succession, as if trying to think of what to do. Shove or yell at me? Nah. Move over to the side to see around me? Nix that one, too.  _Yeah, you deserve it for abandoning me... work your way out of_ **this** _one,_ _Wonwoo_ _.  
_  
“Sir, are you OK?” the associate asked.  His face was kind of scrunched up now, whether from laughter or anger, I didn’t know. And I wasn’t sure I  _wanted_  to know. I'd seen an angry Wonwoo my first day here, and it wasn't a pleasant experience.  
  
“Oh, well, no, not really, I think there’s something in my eye,” he suddenly said, clapping his hand over his right eye. “Do you have a bathroom here?” I was actually impressed -- not a bad save, all things considered.  
  
He smiled. “Yes, just over here, and to the left.”  
  
“Thank you so much.” He marched towards the bathroom; I followed, sauntering behind.  
  
He flung the bathroom door open, and I hesitated before entering. Wonwoo didn't seem to care as he grabbed my arm, practically twisting it off in the process, and yanked me inside and into a stall with him before I could protest. He immediately locked the door.  
  
“What the hell was that all about, you asshole? We set some rules here!”  
  
Asshole? I felt my blood heat up a little. “Yes Hyung, we did, and you  _immediately_  broke one of them," I snapped at him. "You left me by myself and I couldn’t find you.  What would have happened if you lost me? What would I  _do_? Where would I  _go_? It’s not like I can just  _ask_ someone if they’ve seen you around." My voice had risen to a yell by the time I reached the end of my rant. I stopped, breathing raggedly.  
  
I immediately regretted letting my temper go like that. Wonwoo's face fell, flushing a deep red, and a guilty look spread across it. He lowered his eyes.  
  
“Oh, God, I’m so sorry,” he said in a quieter tone. “I didn’t realise--” He stopped.  
  
“It’s okay,” I said gruffly, feeling a little guilty myself. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, but I was just kind of upset. I can't lose you, Hyung. I -- I need you. You're all I've got right now.”    
  
He kept looking down at his shoes and remained silent for a moment. “I’m sorry. I just thought I’d be over there for a second... I just asked him a question, but he kept talking, and I kind of forgot why I was here for a second.” He gazed dolefully up at me. “I guess I’m a hypocrite, huh?”  
  
“I guess you are.”  
  
“I won’t let it happen again. Alright? Truce?” He held out his hand.  
  
I grabbed it and shook it firmly, noticing, for the first time, how soft his palms were. “Truce.”  
  
He managed a smile, and squeezed my shoulder. “So, you were saying you found some stuff?”  
  
“Yeah,” I returned the smile easily. It was impossible to hold a grudge against him. “Follow me.”

_**Wonwoo** _

I followed Mingyu through the aisles of the store, my head downcast. I felt like a dick. No, no, I  _ _was__ a dick. All I had done was bitch at him all day, almost forgetting that  _ _he__ was the one in trouble here. He was trying to be reasonable about the whole situation and I was acting like a brat, thinking only of my own feelings and what other people would think of me. When had I become so selfish? I thought about what he said about getting lost, and a chill went through me when I realised it was true. He’d never make it on his own here. He __did__ need me. _ **  
  
**_ We shoved our way through the racks of clothes. Mingyu suddenly halted in front of a long wall rack, crammed full of jeans. Overpriced, ugly jeans. _ **  
  
“**_ Okay, I like these... and these,” he said, pointing. “These are alright, too.” _ **  
  
“**_ Sheesh,” I muttered as I gathered the clothing in my arms. I threw a look behind my shoulder to make sure no one was in earshot. “You don’t need to try these on? They’ll fit?” _ **  
  
**_ He shrugged. “They should, they’re my size. I’ve never had any problems with jeans I’ve bought like that before.” _ **  
  
**_ I stared at him. Guys like him had _no_ idea how lucky they were. “I hate you.” _ **  
  
**_ He looked offended. “Why?!” _ **  
  
“**_ Because you have a normal body shape, and you have no idea how easy you have it... if I tried to buy __anything__ without trying it on, I would just completely waste my money and time.” _ **  
  
“**_ Oh, whatever." He looked over his shoulder. "Sssh, here comes someone.” _ **  
  
**_ I shut up and carefully inspected the merchandise on another rack. The 'someone' was another sales associate. _ **  
  
“**_ Can I help you, Sir?” he asked pleasantly, though he gave me a somewhat perplexed look. Perhaps wondering why I was holding an armload of jeans that clearly would not fit me. _ **  
  
“**_ Um.... no, just looking,” I said softly, “for, uh, my friend. It’s his birthday, you know, here pretty soon, and he really needs some jeans.” I babbled on, feeling a little nervous. I could have easily stopped after “No, just looking,” but as usual my mouth acted before my mind could stop it. _ **  
  
**_ The associate nodded and assured me that my friend would simply love the ones I had picked out. I nodded eagerly and agreed -- anything to get him to move on and out of the way. I sighed with relief as he walked off to assist someone else. _ **  
  
**_ Mingyu raised an eyebrow. “'Friend's birthday'? You’re getting uncannily good at this lying thing.” _ **  
  
“**_ Too good. I’m starting to fool myself.”  _ **  
  
**_ He chuckled at that, and prodded me towards another rack. "Well, I'm not done..." he said. I groaned loudly. _ **  
  
**_ A little while later Mingyu’s whimsical fashion taste had me laden with various colourful shirts and jeans. I staggered under the weight. Jeans can be really heavy... especially when you're holding approximately 250 pairs of them... _ **  
  
“**_ Hey, I need some underwear,” he piped up, spying a display of designer boxers and briefs. “Oh, and socks too!” _ **  
  
**_ "Jesus Christ," I muttered, looking down. My arms were full; there was no way anything else was going on this mountain of clothes without taking me down. I wondered how I was going to carry all of it out to the car. Finally I settled on tossing the clothes onto the checkout counter, then going back for the underwear and socks. I rolled my eyes at him as I grabbed a pack of each and threw them up on the counter with the rest.  _ _Anything else? Maybe some fashion accessories? Designer headwear?__ I thought sarcastically.  _ _I can't believe I agreed to this.__ _I'm gonna be killed_ _over the credit card bill..._ **  
  
** The cashier was quite impressed with my enormous stack. “My, my, my, it looks like someone’s getting an updated wardrobe” she chirped while scanning the items, subtly looking me up and down. _**  
  
**_ Part of me was tempted to tell her that the clothes weren't for  _ _me__... just to see her reaction. But I thought better of it. _ **  
  
**_ I dug around in my wallet for my card while she totalled the sale. Suddenly a voice broke into my concentration, nearly causing me to drop everything. A very unpleasant voice. _ **  
  
“** Wonwoo_! What brings you here?” The sugary-sweet voice that spoke those words was like nails down a chalkboard, to my ears... I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth. Just when I thought I would make it out of the mall unrecognised... I turned, slowly, to face the source. The ringleader of my lovely neighbours, Sooah. Ruiner of school dances. She should get that engraved on a plaque. _ **  
  
“**_ Wow, she’s  _ _hot__ ,” Mingyu said, obviously impressed with her short jean skirt and halter top. He gave her a once-over, nodding his approval. I suppressed the urge to groan again. Great, another guy lost to her charms. What the fuck was  _ _wrong__ with him? _**  
  
“**_ Hello, Sooah,” I said flatly and unenthusiastically. Beside me, I noticed Mingyu shift uncomfortably. “Just shopping, you know.”

“ _Here?_ Well, I must say, it's good to see you taking pride in your appearance for once.” She laughed merrily, but I immediately picked up on her vindictive, sarcastic undertone. “I would have thought you'd grown out of the homeless chic look by now." She patted my arm condescendingly. "Haha, I’m just kidding, darling. So who are the clothes really for?” _ **  
  
**_ I cleared my throat and forced a pleasant smile. Why was the cashier taking so freaking long? “Oh, they’re just for a friend of mine.” _ **  
  
“**_ Oh, really? A male friend?” _ **  
  
“**_ I think that’s pretty obvious.” _ **  
  
“**_ Ha, ha... well, I never know with you sometimes. That room-mate of yours?” She tossed her coal-black hair behind her shoulder. It was thick, lustrous, perfectly combed.

 _Rude_ , I thought. I stuck my nose up in the air a little. “Nope.” _ **  
  
“** _Really?__ _I wasn't aware you had any social connections outside of him._ _ **”  
  
**_ The amused and disbelieving tone with which she said that finally got to me. Even Mingyu seemed a little shocked by it, judging by the noise he made. I seethed with anger. First of all, it was  _ _none__ of her business who the clothes were for. And secondly, why was it so unbelievable that I would actually have a friend who wasn't Junhui? I mean, I didn’t... but still... it was the principle of the matter! _ **  
  
“**_ Yes,” I snapped back at her. She raised her eyebrows a little, and it was pretty obvious she didn’t believe me. _ **  
  
“**_ Really? What’s his name?” _ **  
  
**_ I suddenly went blank. You know how that works sometimes -- it’s like when someone asks you what they should name their new pet, or to pick a number between one and a million, or to name any member of the Wu-Tang Clan. There are practically infinite possibilities with which to answer these questions, and yet you can’t think of a single acceptable one. My blood rushed up my body, towards my face, as I realised that I was about to be caught in my lie. How completely embarrassing. _ **  
  
**_ Throughout most of our little spectacle, Mingyu had kept his mouth shut. However, thankfully, he supplied the answer for me. _ **  
  
“**_ Mingyu,” he said. How original. Although I wasn’t looking at him, I could feel his grin loud and clear. _ **  
  
“**_ Mingyu,” I said casually. Hell, I had to say  _ _something__. _ **  
  
**_ She nodded slowly. She wasn't buying it. “How long have you known each other?” _ **  
  
“**_ Oh, not really long....” _ **  
  
“**_ About three months,” Mingyu said. _ **  
  
“**_ About three months,” I repeated. I cast a furtive glance at the cashier.  _ _Still__ not done yet?! _ **  
  
“**_ So, where’s he from? Do I know him?”  _ _Ugh__! Why was she so fucking  _ _nosy__? I was practically frothing at the mouth with anger. _ **  
  
“**_ You don't know him... He’s from Seoul... I really don’t see him that often, but he’s coming to visit me sometime pretty soon, and stay awhile...” I was rambling again. Thankfully, the cashier interrupted our conversation to tell me that my total came to 509 771 won.  _ _Sweet Jesus!__ _Mingyu_ _, I hope you've enjoyed knowing me, because I'm going to be dead once J_ _my uncle_ _sees this bill..._ I handed the cashier the credit card and paid. Once I'd signed the slip, I gathered up the numerous bags lying on the counter. I smiled sweetly at her as Mingyu and I left the store. _ **  
  
“**_ When he comes in, make sure to introduce us! I’d  _ _love__ to meet him,” she called after me. I ignored her comment and strolled out into the mall. _ **  
  
“**_ What the _fuck??”_ Mingyu remarked as we walked back through the shopping centre. I actually felt relieved.  _ **  
  
“**_ Still think she’s hot?” _ **  
  
“**_ Well, she’s got the physical assets, but is distinctly lacking in the personality department.” _ **  
  
**_ I laughed loudly, causing several people to look over at me in surprise.  _ _Yeah, that’s right__ , I thought, annoyed.  _ _Keep staring__. I readjusted my bags and walked on. _ **  
  
“**_ I wish I could help you there,” Mingyu said sincerely as I struggled to walk.  _ _Yeah, I wish you could, too,__ _pretty boy_ _... considering all this stuff is_ **yours** _.  
_**  
** We had walked far enough so that I could now see the main entrance, where we’d come in earlier. Naturally, this would be the point where I lost control of the purchases and they all tumbled to the floor. I cried out in frustration as the bags spilled their contents onto the tile, but I managed to keep the swearing to a minimum, a rarity. But hey, there were kids around... _ **  
  
“**_ Excuse me,” a male voice spoke up from somewhere behind me. “Um, you need some help?” _ **  
  
**_ I jerked around to see a young man standing behind me, a slightly amused look on his face. He was fairly tall, well-built, with dark hair and eyes, and gorgeous skin. I simply stared, blinded by his dark, strong beauty, and didn’t respond. _ **  
  
“**_ Um, sorry?” His brow furrowed, and his friendly eyes never left mine. So... perhaps he  _ _was__ talking to me. I continued to stare. _ **  
  
“**_ Hyung, maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure he’s talking to you,” Mingyu’s loud, sarcastic voice interrupted my reverie. _ **  
  
“**_ Oh!" I finally came back to my senses. "I, uh... I... it’s alright, I’ve got it, just let me get everything together,” I said. Handsome or not, why would I let him help me? _ **  
  
“**_ Are you sure?” he asked again. _ **  
  
“**_ Yeah,” I said softly, gazing into his deep eyes and silently cursing myself for being so self concious. He shrugged lightly and smiled, then turned around and headed off. _ **  
  
“**_ Well, that was stupid Hyung.” _ **  
  
**_ I whipped around to face Mingyu. He nodded his head at the guy and spoke again. “Go back there and get him. You need help with this stuff, you’re never going to make it to the car. And besides, he's cute. _ **  
  
**_ I grunted dejectedly, looking around. Oh, what the hell. _ **  
  
“**_ Excuse me, sir!” I called after him, my merchandise falling as I ran, leaving a trail behind me. He turned around quickly and laughed. _ **  
  
“**_ Change your mind?” he asked. _ **  
  
“**_ Um, yeah... you could say that,” I laughed uncertainly. “I’m sorry.” _ **  
  
“**_ Oh, it’s more than alright. Come on, I’ll help you.” He smiled, revealing a set of perfectly white, straight teeth. My heart beat noticibley sped up. _ **  
  
**_ He took several of the bags -- well, most of them, to be honest -- and followed me to the entrance. _ **  
  
“**_ So,” he remarked casually. “You like Zeppelin?” _ **  
  
**_ I gave him a curious look. “Yeah, how’d you know?” _ **  
  
**_ He laughed. “Your shirt.” _ **  
  
**_ I glanced down. I was wearing a solid black shirt with  _ _Zoso__ written in red script letters. One of my favourite shirts, because it was such a simple design. Simple was better, in my opinion. I didn't go for crazy designs and pictures and shit. _ **  
  
“**_ Oh, yeah, I love Zeppelin,” I replied with a smile. He agreed enthusiastically, and I found myself relaxing as we chatted about music on our way to the car. It turns out that we had very similar tastes... so rare for me.. Wow, good looks, manners,  _ _and__ taste. He was too good to be true. _ **  
  
**_ I wished that Sooah could see me now... ha, wouldn’t she be pissed off? Wait, I didn’t know his name. _ **  
  
“**_ So, what’s your name?” I asked boldly. Well, asking a hot person's name is bold for  _ _me__ , anyway. _ **  
  
“**_ Jaeyung,” he smiled. “Yours?” _ **  
  
“**_ Wonwoo,” I said, feeling a little light-headed. I needed to calm down, it wasn't like that… and even if it was I'm not interested in that stuff right? _ **  
  
“**_ Wonwoo,” he repeated. “I like that name, it’s cute.” _ **  
  
**_ Okay maybe I was interested in that stuff _ _.__ Blushing, I thanked him and asked him which Zeppelin album was his favourite, listening intently as he answered. I was so absorbed in my conversation with him, in fact, that I didn’t even notice that we had completely by-passed my car. _ **  
  
“**_ Hyung!” Mingyu shouted. “Your car’s back here! Quit flirting, let’s get out of here!” He sounded irritated. _ **  
  
“**_ Um, I lost track of where we were going,” I said shyly. “We’ve passed my car. Sorry this is taking so long!” _ **  
  
**_ Jaeyung laughed and turned around. “Ah, it was time well spent.” My heart fluttered in and out of my chest. My God, he was  _ _flirting__ with me. I looked up, fully expecting to see a pig with wings float by. _ **  
  
**_ He helped me load my trunk. I walked over to the driver side and opened the door, then casually backed away, leaving it wide open, while I talked some more. Mingyu complained, but crawled into the car from my side. Meanwhile, my eyes never left Jaeyung’s face. I had never been one to believe in love at first sight before... but hey, maybe infatuation? _ **  
  
“**_ Thanks,” I said shyly. I didn’t know what else to say. _ **  
  
“**_ You’re welcome.... take care, Wonwoo.” He smiled again. “You be careful driving home, okay?” _ **  
  
“**_ I will...” I trailed off, not wanting to leave, but realising that this was the end of the line. He stood in front of me for a moment, as if he was expecting more, creating an awkward moment where all we could think to do was examine our shoes. Finally he spoke again. _ **  
  
“**_ Well, uh, um, I guess I’ll see you around then?” _ **  
  
“**_ Yeah.....”  _ _Brilliant,__ _Wonwoo_ _. Your monosyllabic vocabulary is highly impressive.  
_**  
** He turned slowly and walked off, leaving me to admire his behind. I might have admired it all day if Mingyu hadn’t stepped in, once again. _ **  
  
“**_ HELLO!? Can we get out of here, please?! Weren’t you the one who didn’t want to come here in the first place?”Damn, what was his problem? _ **  
  
**_ I snapped back to attention and collapsed into the car, shutting the door and starting the engine before I spoke. _ **  
  
“** _Wow_ _..._ **”**_ I cooed, realising that I sounded like a total lovesick idiot, but not really caring. _ **  
  
“**_ W _ _hat__?” Mingyu’s eyes narrowed for a moment. “Wow what? You __just__ met him! You spent, like,  _ _five__ minutes with him, tops! I didn't even know you liked guys!” _ **  
  
“**_ I don't like guys…Haven’t you ever heard of love at first sight?” _ **  
  
“**_ Whatever," he snapped. "Don’t be stupid.” _ **  
  
**_ I cringed at his words,  so unusually harsh for Mingyu. Why was he being so hateful? _ **  
  
“**_ Sorry,” I muttered. “Thanks for raining on my parade.” I backed the car out of the space and started for home. _ **  
  
“**_ You’re welcome.” There was no apology, no remorse in his tone at all for his rudeness. I looked over at him in disgust. _ **  
  
“**_ What is your deal?” _ **  
  
“**_ Nothing. I just don’t believe in that stuff, it’s ridiculous.” _ **  
  
“**_ Why is it ridiculous?” _ **  
  
“** _Because__ , you don’t fall in love with someone without knowing them. You don’t meet someone and just immediately want to run off and marry them. You have to get to know a person, you have to spend lots of time with them, learn their strengths and faults, before you can be in love.” _ **  
  
**_ I chewed on my lip silently for a moment. I mean, what he said was  _ _true__ , also. Generally, that’s how most people fell in love, I guess... But I couldn’t understand his harsh opinion on what I’d just said. Love at first sight was such a romantic notion. Unless... suddenly, it dawned on me. _ **  
  
“**_ Let me guess..." I said slowly. "You’ve had enough girls in your life tell you that they love you, without ever having  _ _met__ you, to fill Rupp Arena 30 times over.” _ **  
  
“**_ That could be part of it," he answered shortly. _ **  
  
“**_ That  _ _is__ part of it.” _ **  
  
**_ He didn’t say anything, just stared out the window and watched the buildings flash by. After a moment's hesitation, I continued. _ **  
  
“**_ Well....this is different, Mingyu. You know that. He's no idol, and I'm no groupie. But if it makes you feel any better, it’s not like I’ll ever see him again. I didn’t ask him out, or ask for his number, or even his last name. He’ll just be another fantasy, one of those ‘what-if’ type situations.” I sighed theatrically. _ **  
  
“**_ Mmmmm,” was all he said. His lips were pressed together tightly, his eyes drawn into slits. _ **  
  
**_ It was apparent from the look on his face that he didn’t want to discuss it. I decided not to press him about it, and, returning my eyes to the road, continued the drive home in silence.

We pulled into the driveway and I killed the engine. Mingyu didn't move to remove his seatbelt, so neither did I. I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel, unsure of the atmosphere.

“Hyung?” Mingyu's voice was timid, unsure. It made me nervous.

“Yes Mingyu?” He looked to his hands and picked at his nails, avoiding eye contact with me.

“Could we maybe, like… go and visit… me?” I blinked once, twice – three times. What did he mean? He couldn't possibly be asking if we could go to Seoul, could he? Mingyu raised his head and our eyes connected, his glazed with sorrow and slightly bloodshot. That was exactly what he was asking. I swallowed hard and got out of the car.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT AM I DOINGGGGGGGG I'm so tired and a littlleee tipsy so I apologise for any mistakes or whatver but I couldn't care less tbh... Please let me know where you want this to go or what you would like to see because my drafts are confusing me..


	14. :/

Hey Everyone

I'm really sorry to say this but I'm abandoning this work. My life is just not at the point where I think I can update this story anymore, things have become too much. Reading through it again, I've also realised that it's not really how I wanted it to turn out, I don't like how I've written it or where it's going. Thank you all for being so supportive of me, I really appreciate your kind words and suggestions in the comments, truly. I'm hoping that once all this drama in my life has sorted itself out I will be able to re-write this story and post it again, which may be tedious, I know but it's the ideal outcome in this situation. Again, I'm really sorry. 

If you want me to keep updated with what's going on my tumblr is lee-jaehwhat 

I'll probably leave this up for another week and then I'm going to delete my ao3 account.

Thank you all for reading my work!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically the set up chapter, I promise more will happen in the next one!! This is my first time publishing any of my work so I would really appreciate any feedback or suggestions!!!


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